Missy: I took the makeup from Meemaw's bag.
Mary: Oh, Missy, you are in a world of trouble.
Meemaw: Calm down, it's not that big a deal.
Mary: It is so a big deal! She stole from you, and then she lied about it.
Meemaw: I know, but come on, she's only ten. She's gonna do way stupider stuff when she's older.
Missy: Guaranteed.

Meemaw: So when, exactly, did you swipe my makeup?
Missy: While you were at bowling league.
Meemaw: You don't have a key to this house. How'd you get in?
Missy: Can't tell you that. I might need to do it again.
Meemaw: Unbelievable.

Meemaw: And for future reference, go lighter on the blush, or you'll end up looking like Raggedy Ann.
Missy: She got Raggedy Andy looking like that.
Meemaw: He's her brother.
Missy: Oh. I've been playing with those dolls all wrong.

George Jr.: What's going on?
Sheldon: [mumbles:] I'm learning to play the violin.
Missy: It's my new favorite show.

Sheldon: Well, it's not fair. It's a school. Education should be their priority.
George Sr.: All right, I'll explain it again-
Meemaw: I think Shelly's got a point. The school is supposed to prepare these kids for the future. How many of 'em are gonna be professional football players?
Missy: No one at this table.

Sheldon: Guess what. I'm running for class president.
Mary: Good for you.
Missy: You're encouraging him? He's gonna get destroyed.
Mary: You don't know that.
Missy: I feel like I do.
Mary: Well, whether you win or not, I think it's great that you're trying.
Sheldon: But you think I'll win, right?
Missy: God's listening, Mom.

Sheldon: He's exhibiting Zahavian signaling theory.
Missy: Is that from Star Trek?
Sheldon: No, biology. He's trying to communicate his more desirable qualities in order to attract Veronica.
Missy: Too bad he doesn't have any desirable qualities.

George Jr.: Uh, maybe when you're done, we can go down to the mall and hang out.
Veronica: Oh, I promised your sister I'd take her out for some girl time.
George Jr.: Maybe I can come along.
Veronica: Then it wouldn't be girl time.
George Jr.: No, not entirely, but it would be mostly.
Missy: Take a hint, dummy.

Missy: "Steak aw poyverwith fritties"?
Dr. John Sturgis: It's French.
Missy: Oh. What's a crock monster?
Dr. John Sturgis: It's croque monsieur, and it's really just a grilled cheese sandwich with ham.
Missy: I want that.

Sheldon: I bet you don't even know the first thing about Sweden.
Missy: Well, you're wrong, it's where those little meatballs come from. And that chef on The Muppets. That's two things. Oh, and it's in Canada. That's three.

Missy: And the turtle eating the pizza is Leonardo.
George Sr.: How can you tell?
Missy: He's wearing blue. And he's the hot one.

Missy: If Mom knew this was in the house, she'd lose her mind.
George Jr.: I know. Mom does not like demons.
Missy: So, how does it work?
George Jr.: You put your fingertips on it like this, and you ask it questions. Then the spirits from beyond will move you around the board and answer them.
Missy: Whoa.
George Jr.: Let's try it.
Missy: Okay. [hesitating] Pastor Jeff talked about these in Sunday school. He called them Satan's Monopoly board.

Missy: [answering phone] Hello? [to Georgie] It's Pastor Jeff. What do I do?
George Jr.: See what he wants.
Missy: What do you want?
Pastor Jeff: Um, is your mom home?
Missy: No, she went out with my dad. It's just me and Georgie.
Pastor Jeff: Oh. Okay. Well, I hope you two are behaving yourselves.
Missy: We are. We're just watching TV. Okay, bye. [to Georgie] I just lied to a pastor.
George Jr.: So?
Missy: So I'm going to hell!

Sheldon: Ugh. What am I missing?
Missy: Wake me up one more time, and I will sneeze in your mittens. A big, wet, snotty one.

Missy: Ooh. 35 cents off Goober.
Mary: What's Goober?
Missy: Peanut butter and jelly in the same jar. Think about how much time we'd save.

Pastor Jeff: Some of the Romans thought he was a little weird, but if you invite him into your heart, you get to go to the biggest party of all, the one in the sky.
Missy: Ooh, a party in the sky. Fun.
Sheldon: He means heaven.
Missy: Or a blimp.
Sheldon: He means heaven.

Missy: Can we just sign it and play?
Sheldon: I've signed my name. Feel free to draw an "X."
Missy: I know how to write my name, Sheldon. Damn it, I wrote "Sheldon."

George Sr.: You just got to get out of your head. You you're thinking too much.
Missy: I promise thinking too much has never been my problem.

Missy: That's so cool. Can I sign it?
Sheldon: Why?
Missy: 'Cause that's what kids do.
Sheldon: Why would I care what kids do?
Missy: So when it's over, you can have a cool reminder?
Sheldon: I don't want a reminder. This is traumatic. I might need counseling.
Missy: Come on, don't be lame. Let me sign it.
Sheldon: You're just gonna write something mean.
Missy: You don't commit a crime and sign your own name. Learned that one the hard way.

Mary: Come on, Shelly. It's a space theme. Isn't that fun?
Sheldon: Jesus was a carpenter, not an astronaut.
Missy: Maybe he built the rocket.
Sheldon: What would he use for fuel?
Missy: [distracted] Ooh, doughnut holes.