George: Kids in bed?
Mary: Not all of 'em.
George: Mary, if we let Georgie stay here, we're just makin' this all too easy for him.
Mary: I don't want to fight. I just want to know that our son is okay.
George: He's fine. He's stayin' at your mom's.
Mary: [sighs] Well, that's something. Although, where does she get off thinking that it's a good idea for him to drop out of school and then lettin' him live with her after he does it.
George: That's what I said.
Mary: Good! Maybe they'll learn to mind their own business!
Sheldon: [enters] Will you please stop fighting?
Mary: Oh, no. Sweetie, no, we're not fighting. We're just agreeing with each other angrily.

Missy: I don't have any questions. I'm good. Can we be done now?
Mary: So, you'll ask Pastor Rob, but you won't ask me?
Missy: I didn't ask you 'cause I know what you'll say.
Mary: You don't know what I'm gonna say.
Missy: "It's a sin." "You're too young." "Wait till marriage."
Mary: Well, it is, you are, and you should.

Pastor Rob: Yeah, people have had some strong feelings, but I think if they heard us out, they'd see we're not putting impure thoughts in anyone's heads. Right, Mary?
Mary: No. I mean, I mean, yes, we're not. I mean, if we're upsetting people, we should just back off.
Pastor Jeff: Exactly. The talk is off. I never want to talk about the talk again.
Mary: Hallelujah.
Pastor Jeff: If you'll excuse me, I have 14 phone calls to return.
Pastor Rob: Well, sorry this didn't work out.
Mary: It's probably for the best. [inner monologue] Do not look at his butt. Do not look. Okay, do not look again.

George: Sales is a tough racket, Mare.
Georgie: Yeah. It ain't as easy as I make it look.
Mary: Well, I think I'd be good at it.
Georgie: You sure? Sometimes you got to do a little fibbin'.
Mary: I would do it without that.
Georgie: And you got to have people skills.
Mary: I have people skills.
Georgie: Do you?
Mary: I'd like to throw my dinner roll at your head right now, but you don't see me doing it.

Mary: Let's just eat.
Sheldon: Without praying?
Mary: [chuckles] How silly of me.
George: You all right?
Meemaw: Well, she's had a whole beer, so who knows.
Sheldon: Mother.
Mary: Can we just pray? [sighs] Bless us Lord for the food we are about to receive and bless the hands that prepared it. And forgive me for that beer. My mother made me do it. Amen.
Meemaw: Snitch.

George: You ever stop to think maybe she doesn't want to marry a 17-year-old?
Mary: He'll be 18 in March.
George: All right, you're just being ridiculous. [goes back inside]
Mary: I'm being a Christian.
[After Mary walks over and knocks on the garage door, a dozy Georgie opens it]
Mary: When you were born, you were a gift from God but that does not change the fact that I am very mad at you!
Georgie: All right. [closes door]

Mary: [chuckles] Well, at this point, it doesn't matter, because she doesn't want to get married.
Pastor Rob: Well, I can talk to her if you want.
Mary: Mm.
Pastor Rob: I'm pretty good with young people.
Mary: She's 29.
Pastor Rob: Also pretty good with people my own age. [Mary chuckles]

Mary: Okay, God, we need to talk. Are you testing me? Is this a test? Am I Mrs. Job? I try to be a good person, but... lately, it feels like you are smacking me down every chance you get. And I know that that might sound a little ungrateful right now, as I load my new dishwasher... That I love... But can't you pick on someone else for a while?

Mary: I know that you're excited, but when that seatbelt sign does go off, you need to be respectful. That man may not want to meet you... [bell chimes] [Sheldon undoes his seatbelt and jumps out of his seat] [Mary sighs]
Sue: Gin and tonic.
Mary: Oh, I don't really... Thank you.

[After a bout of turbulence, Mary clasps her hands together in prayer]
Sheldon: Oh, there's no reason to do that. It's just irregular motion of air around the plane caused by temperature changes. [more turbulence] Oh, that was a big one. And given our altitude, perfectly predictable. [cabin alert chimes]
Flight Attendant: [v.o.] The pilot has turned on the seatbelt sign. Please return to your seat.
Sheldon: A reasonable precaution. [checks seatbelt] Snug as a bug. [more turbulence]
Mary: Would you like me to include you in my prayers?
Sheldon: No, thanks, I don't need to seek help from an invisible man.
Mary: You're right, you've got your invisible strings.

Sheldon: [baby crying] Babies. Why'd it have to be babies?
Mary: Oh, relax. He'll cry himself out. You won't even know he's there.
[four hours later:]
Sheldon: [baby crying] [sighs] Please tell that mother to quiet her baby.
Mary: Sometimes moms can't make their kids be quiet no matter how much they try.

Audrey: A gambling room?
Mary: Yes.
Audrey: And she'd been bribing the authorities?
Mary: I wouldn't use that word, but there were... donations made to the authorities.
Audrey: And Georgie worked there?
Mary: Well, he also runs the laundromat. Very legitimate.
Audrey: For money laundering.
Mary: And regular laundering.

Mary: Hang on a sec. I see an engineering department, a physics department, computer lab. What I don't see is a church.
Mr. Jensen: Don't worry, we have a beautiful nondenominational chapel built in 1956.
Mary: Nondenominational?
Mr. Jensen: Everyone's welcome.
[Mary removes her MIT visor and looks at George, who glumly removes his MI.T. baseball cap]

Mary: You really didn't want to take that family portrait, did you? [kisses her hand and places it on George's forehead] See you later.

Mary: Hey, what ya doing?
Sheldon: Packing my things for California.
Mary: You're taking your toy trains?
Sheldon: They're not toys. They're historically accurate facsimiles.
Mary: They go "woo woo" when you press the button, right?
Sheldon: They're not joyless facsimiles.