Mary Quote #299

Quote from Mary in the episode Money Laundering and a Cascade of Hormones

Missy: I don't have any questions. I'm good. Can we be done now?
Mary: So, you'll ask Pastor Rob, but you won't ask me?
Missy: I didn't ask you 'cause I know what you'll say.
Mary: You don't know what I'm gonna say.
Missy: "It's a sin." "You're too young." "Wait till marriage."
Mary: Well, it is, you are, and you should.

Mary Quotes

Quote from the episode Dolomite, Apple Slices, and a Mystery Woman

Sheldon: Regardless, I'm not interested in making any more friends.
Mary: Oh, I don't think that's how you really feel.
Sheldon: It is. From now on, it's a hermit's life for me.
Mary: I bet, when you grow up, you will be surrounded by lots of smart, wonderful friends.
Sheldon: I can't see that happening.

Quote from the episode Pilot

Sheldon: Mom, when should I be expecting my testicles?
Woman: [turns around] What is wrong with him?
Mary: Nothing is wrong with him. Now turn around before I knock your lights out.
Sheldon: Hello.

Quote from the episode A Solo Peanut, a Social Butterfly and the Truth

Mary: Oh, I know that you're hurting, and... I'm here for you, so... what do you need?
Meemaw: Great, take me drinking.
Mary: It is 3:30 in the afternoon.
Meemaw: Yes, it's called happy hour.
Mary: I have to make dinner.
Meemaw: Oh, fine. I'll just be sad and drunk by myself. Maybe I'll go home with the bartender.
Mary: Missy! I have to go out with your meemaw, but I'll be back later with KFC.

‘Money Laundering and a Cascade of Hormones’ Quotes

Quote from Meemaw

Meemaw: I'll tell you what, we're in the gambling business, why don't we gamble for it?
Georgie: Okay.
Meemaw: Great. The number I'm thinking of in my head... is it odd or even?
Georgie: How dumb do you think I am?
Meemaw: In my defense, you used to be dumber.

Quote from Meemaw

Meemaw: How much did Dale pay you?
Georgie: Uh, minimum wage plus five percent commission.
Meemaw: I'll give you half of that.
Georgie: So, two and a half percent commission?
Meemaw: No, half of the minimum wage part.
Georgie: What about a percentage of these?
Meemaw: [laughs] Yeah, right.
Georgie: I'm serious. If it wasn't for me, none of this would be happening.
Meemaw: I'm your grandmother. If it weren't for me, you wouldn't be happening.

Quote from Adult Sheldon

Sheldon: [knocks on door] Missy, I know you're upset. Would you like a hot beverage?
Missy: [o.s.] Go away.
Adult Sheldon: Every culture has their taboos. In the Ukraine, it's rude to whistle indoors, and they're correct. Not a fan. In our society, any discussion of human reproduction seems to be so upsetting, it causes nothing but chaos. Lost jobs. Lost friends. Sleepless nights. Even the word "sex" provokes an uncomfortable reaction. I thought "fornicate" might work, but that seemed too judgy. Then I found the perfect word, a word so bland and clinical that it would be impossible to take offense to it.
Sheldon: "Coitus." That'll work.