‘Memoir’ Quotes Page 1 of 3    

  • Memoir

    714. Memoir

    May 16, 2024

    As Adult Sheldon (Jim Parsons) writes his memoir, he reflects on his last few days in Medford. While his family grapples with the loss of George, Sheldon prepares to move to California.

Quote from Adult Sheldon

[Adult Sheldon walks through his childhood home:]
Adult Sheldon: Eventually, my mom sold the house. My dad's chair was gone. My spot was gone. [sits down on couch] Where we ate together. But I can still remember it exactly the way it was the day I left for Caltech.
Missy: Hey.
[Young Sheldon turns around to face Missy]
Missy: What are you doing?
Sheldon: Taking it all in one last time, so I remember it when I'm older.
Missy: You gonna remember me?
Sheldon: I have an eidetic memory. I have no choice.
Missy: Ha.

Quote from Sheldon

Mary: Are you gonna go, too? I know you don't believe.
Sheldon: I don't. But I believe in you.
Mary: Thank you.

Quote from Pastor Jeff

Pastor Jeff: Okay, now our next baptism is for Sheldon Lee Cooper, our soon-to-be brother in Christ. And, personally, this is a big get for me.

Quote from Adult Sheldon

[future:]
Adult Sheldon: I gazed lovingly at her. I thought about how much she had been through and how much this would mean to her and then I said... "Not a chance, lady." Pulitzer.
Amy Farrah Fowler: I thought you were taking a shower.
Adult Sheldon: I thought I was, too, but the muse had other plans. What are you wearing?
Amy Farrah Fowler: It's a hockey jersey. Here, I got you one.
Adult Sheldon: I'm not wearing this silly thing.
Amy Farrah Fowler: When I first met you, you bought all of your shirts from a comic book store.
Adult Sheldon: And I'd still be wearing them if they hadn't mysteriously disappeared.

Quote from Adult Sheldon

Adult Sheldon: [v.o.] Even as a child, I was always doing things to make other people happy.
[future:]
Amy Farrah Fowler: Doing things to make other people happy? You've got to be kidding me.
Adult Sheldon: [stammers] Don't read over my shoulder.
Amy Farrah Fowler: Well, are you writing your memoir or a fantasy novel?
Adult Sheldon: For your information, the word "memoir" comes from "memory," and these memories are mine.

Quote from Adult Sheldon

[future:]
Amy Farrah Fowler: And since when do you go out of your way to make other people happy?
Adult Sheldon: How about once a year on your birthday?
Amy Farrah Fowler: Other than that, when?
Adult Sheldon: All the time.
Amy Farrah Fowler: Sheldon, while I was giving birth, you Zoomed in to a seminar.
Adult Sheldon: You were taking forever to dilate, and I had already made my contribution to the project. Which, need I remind you, was on your birthday.

Quote from Sheldon

Pastor Jeff: Let me remind you that Emmanuel means "God with us," and I promise you, he is. Now, let's all bow our heads in silent prayer.
[As Pastor Jeff, Mary and the rest of the congregation lower their heads, Sheldon pulls something out a bag]
Mary: What is that?
Sheldon: It's my new laptop. Dr. Sturgis and Dr. Linkletter gave it to me as a graduation gift. [laptop beeps]
Mary: Why is it here?
Sheldon: It's a laptop. This is where my lap is.
Missy: Does it have games on it?
Sheldon: Solitaire and Minesweeper.
Missy: Let me try.
Sheldon: No.
Mary: Put it away.
Pastor Jeff: Uh, Coopers? Is there an issue?
Mary: No, no. Keep praying. We'll, uh, catch up.

Quote from Sheldon

Pastor Jeff: Sheldon, what you got there?
Sheldon: An IBM ThinkPad.
Pastor Jeff: Does that seem appropriate for church?
Sheldon: It's a miracle of technology. [stands up] Luddites, this is a portable computer. 50 megahertz of processing power, four megabytes of RAM. Behold and worship.
Adult Sheldon: What a mischievous imp I was.

Quote from Dale

Meemaw: Is this what you do when I'm not here?
Dale: You could've walked in on a lot worse.

Quote from Mary

Mary: Hey, what ya doing?
Sheldon: Packing my things for California.
Mary: You're taking your toy trains?
Sheldon: They're not toys. They're historically accurate facsimiles.
Mary: They go "woo woo" when you press the button, right?
Sheldon: They're not joyless facsimiles.

Quote from Sheldon

Caltech Professor: You lost?
Sheldon: No. I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be.
["Walk of Life" by Dire Straits plays]

Quote from Adult Sheldon

[future:]
Amy Farrah Fowler: I would love to dissect your brain to see which part is missing.
Adult Sheldon: Or you'll find an all-new structure no one's ever seen before, an evolutionary leap forward.
Amy Farrah Fowler: Don't push me, I have a bone saw. [exits]
Adult Sheldon: All these years, and the passion is still there.

Quote from Adult Sheldon

[future:]
Amy Farrah Fowler: Get dressed.
Adult Sheldon: But I'm busy. I'm writing about my last few days in Texas before going to Caltech. It's very emotional.
Amy Farrah Fowler: I can see that. Hit the showers.
Adult Sheldon: [stammers] I'm right in the middle. Mom's going off the rails, I'm holding the whole family together. This is riveting stuff.
Amy Farrah Fowler: Well, I am leaving in an hour and you are coming with me. [Sheldon coughs] Stop it. You are not sick.
Adult Sheldon: You're not that kind of doctor. You don't know.

Quote from George Jr.

Mandy: Chicken's good, Mary.
Mary: Thank the Colonel. I wasn't up to cooking.
Georgie: 11 herbs and spices. It's a delicious mystery.

Quote from George Jr.

Georgie: It ain't no big deal. I did it.
Mandy: Really?
Missy: Yeah, he kissed a girl in the tub, and she punched him in the face.
Mandy: Really?
Georgie: I'm gonna say pepper's one of the secret spices. That leaves ten.

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