‘A Fancy Article and a Scholarship for a Baby’ Quotes Page 1 of 4
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709. A Fancy Article and a Scholarship for a Baby
April 25, 2024After Sheldon has an article published in a scientific journal, grad school recruiters descend on Medford. Meanwhile, Audrey works on improving Georgie's English so CeeCee doesn't grow up talkin' like him.
Quote from George Jr.
Audrey: Maybe she'd like some bananas or some applesauce?
Georgie: She don't like none of that.
Audrey: Any of that.
Georgie: Any of what?
Audrey: She doesn't like any of that.
Georgie: That's what I said.
Audrey: No, you said, "She don't like none of that."
Georgie: We're sayin' the same thang.
Audrey: No, we're saying the same thing.
Georgie: Exactly.
Audrey: And we aren't.
Georgie: We ain't?
Quote from George Jr.
Audrey: I just think you may want to try speaking more properly in front of your daughter.
Georgie: Ain't nothin' wrong with the way I talk. Lotta people talk like me.
Audrey: True, but maybe CeeCee will have better opportunities in life if she's well-spoken.
Georgie: She don't even talk yet.
Audrey: No, she doesn't. [sighs] But she's listening and she's learning, and we don't want her first word to be "dang it."
Georgie: Better that than whatever the snooty version of "dang it" is.
Audrey: It's "darn it."
Georgie: Dang it, I knew that.
Quote from George Jr.
Mandy: Yeah, you don't need a book. Let's just start simple. Um, instead of "ain't," try "isn't."
Georgie: That isn't gonna be a problem.
Mandy: There you go. Now, let's work on "wasn't."
Georgie: Wadn't.
Mandy: Wasn't.
Georgie: Wadn't.
Mandy: See, I'm not hearing the "S."
Georgie: That's 'cause it wadn't there.
Quote from George Jr.
Georgie: You got to eat them Cheerios, they're good for you. You can tell 'cause there ain't no cartoon on the box. Now, Cocoa Puffs got that bird on 'em, and he's cuckoo for 'em.
Quote from George Jr.
Georgie: [enunciating] Your mother has been helping me, and it has not been easy. But I'm going to keep working on it for you. Okay, let's get you cleaned up.
Mandy: See? He's tryin'.
Georgie: Try-ing.
Audrey: It's nice to see. Who's ready for coffee?
Georgie: I believe you mean, "Whom's ready for coffee?" [exits]
Audrey: Whom's?
Mandy: Oh, let him have this one.
Quote from President Hagemeyer
President Hagemeyer: We have other cards to play. Uh... we're near his family, and he loves you two... God knows why... and most importantly, he hates change.
Dr. Linkletter: I changed deodorants once. He made me change it back. Apparently, I smelled too outdoorsy.
President Hagemeyer: All right, look, we-we've been catering to Sheldon and his family for years, so let's take advantage of what we know and use it to keep him at East Texas Tech.
Dr. John Sturgis: His mother is very religious. Someone might mention Caltech was founded by a Satanist.
President Hagemeyer: Good, good. Wait-wait, is that true? Actually, I don't care. We're using it.
Dr. Linkletter: It is true.
President Hagemeyer: And again, I don't care. So, what else we got?
Quote from George Sr.
Mrs. Jameson: And of course, some of our alumni include John Kennedy, Franklin Roosevelt, newly appointed Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg.
George: That's an awful lot of Democrats.
[cut to George and Mary wearing Caltech clothing with Mr. Stevens:]
George: Although Harvard did have some impressive alumni.
Mary: Bunch of presidents and that gal on the court.
George: Mm-hmm.
Quote from Mary
Mary: Hang on a sec. I see an engineering department, a physics department, computer lab. What I don't see is a church.
Mr. Jensen: Don't worry, we have a beautiful nondenominational chapel built in 1956.
Mary: Nondenominational?
Mr. Jensen: Everyone's welcome.
[Mary removes her MIT visor and looks at George, who glumly removes his MI.T. baseball cap]
Quote from President Hagemeyer
President Hagemeyer: Howdy.
Mary: Well, howdy yourself.
President Hagemeyer: Is this a bad time?
Mary: No, but Sheldon's not here, if you were hoping to talk to him.
President Hagemeyer: No, I was fixing to talk to you and your hubby.
Mary: Come on in.
President Hagemeyer: I brought you some pecan pie and some beer to wash it down.
Mary: You didn't have to do that.
President Hagemeyer: Oh, it's no problem. It's my ding-dang pleasure.
Mary: Okay. George?
Quote from President Hagemeyer
George: President Hagemeyer. This is a real honor, having you visit.
President Hagemeyer: Oh, stop it with that President nonsense. It's Linda... y'all.
Mary: Okay, Linda, so how can we help you?
President Hagemeyer: No, no, no, how can I help you?
George: Gee, I don't know. Rain gutters could use cleaning.
Mary: George.
George: Just a joke.
President Hagemeyer: Well, it doesn't have to be. You got a ladder and some gloves, I'm your gal.
Quote from Adult Sheldon
Sheldon: Mom, Dad, I've made a decision.
George: [turns TV off] All right.
Sheldon: I'm going to MIT.
Adult Sheldon: I know what you're thinking. Wait for it.
Sheldon: I'm so excited to visit MIT.
George: Me, too. Proud of you, son.
Sheldon: Thank you, Dad.
[As Sheldon and George step out of Boston Logan International Airport, the wind is howling and there's snow built up on the ground]
Sheldon: Caltech?
George: Caltech.
Adult Sheldon: Told you.
Quote from Dr. John Sturgis
President Hagemeyer: The important thing is, that kid belongs to us. He is our cash cow. Okay. Explain this to me so I sound like I know what I'm talking about when I shake the donor tree.
Dr. Linkletter: Well, young Mr. Cooper has reimagined string theory.
Dr. John Sturgis: And compactified dimensions like nobody's business. [both chuckle]
President Hagemeyer: You don't understand this, do you?
Dr. John Sturgis: No.
Dr. Linkletter: Not really.
Dr. John Sturgis: I mean, we get what he's trying to do.
Dr. Linkletter: Absolutely.
Dr. John Sturgis: No, we don't really understand it.
Dr. Linkletter: Not a bit.
Quote from Meemaw
George: So, we've narrowed it down to five schools. We got Caltech and Stanford in California.
Meemaw: The left coast.
Mary: Mom.
Meemaw: It is.
George: Can I continue?
Meemaw: Also known as the land of fruits and nuts. Continue.
George: And on the East Coast, we got MIT, Harvard and Princeton.
Meemaw: Damn Yankees.
George: We can't move the schools, Connie.
Quote from Meemaw
Mary: If you're worried about being far away, they're all offering to pay for travel expenses so you can come home for the holidays.
Missy: But to be clear, you don't have to.
Mary: And we can also come and visit you.
Meemaw: Ooh, free trip. I like that.
George: You were just complaining about these places.
Meemaw: I can complain on a beach.
Quote from Dr. John Sturgis
Dr. John Sturgis: Sheldon, you can't stay here.
Sheldon: Why?
Dr. Linkletter: You've outgrown us.
Dr. John Sturgis: Me, literally.
Dr. Linkletter: You deserve the best education possible.
Dr. John Sturgis: You're going to do great things, Sheldon. And we're proud to have been a small part of your journey.
Sheldon: So, where should I go?
Dr. John Sturgis: Caltech.
Dr. Linkletter: MIT.