Mandy: Hope you like tuna salad. I brought you a whole tub.
Meemaw: How old is it?
Mandy: I don't know, but the clock's ticking.

Mandy: Any updates on Kevin?
Missy: I did what you said and was nothing but nice to Heather.
Mandy: Okay. How'd that go?
Missy: So good.I found out she stuffs her bra.
Mandy: Huh. See? When the time is right, you can destroy her with that.
Missy: That's gonna be a good day.
Mandy: And that trick isn't just for middle school. That's something you can use for the rest of your life.

Mandy: Oh, stop. You could totally be a weather girl.
Missy: No. They're all perfect and blonde. Like you.
Mandy: Anybody can be blonde. [scoffs] You think Madonna's really blonde?
Missy: What?
Mandy: [whispers] She's a brunette.
Missy: What about her Blond Ambition Tour?
Mandy: Ha. More like Bottle Blond Ambition Tour.
Missy: Funny and beautiful. No wonder my brother put a baby in you.

Missy: Ooh, Look Who's Talking. Classic.
Mandy: Hey, did you know the baby is the guy from Die Hard?
Missy: No.
Mandy: Yeah.
Missy: He can do everything.

Georgie: All right, almost there.
Mandy: I don't know about this. The last surprise you got me is pressing on my bladder.

Mandy: Well, thanks again. That was fun.
Georgie: Really? Dinner with my family?
Mandy: My family won't talk to me at all. So, I'll take "niblingo" and a home-cooked meal any day.
Georgie: Well, you're always welcome.
Mandy: I think there's ice cream in the freezer, if you want to come in. I mean, I'm gonna eat it, but you can watch.

Meemaw: Well, the laundromat's a cash business.
Mandy: That's mostly just quarters, though, isn't it?
Meemaw: Uh, yeah, but, well, now we've got the video store, and I'm not real big on banks.
Mandy: Because you lived through the Depression?
Meemaw: Yeah. [insincere laugh]

Georgie: How's it going? Figure everything out?
Mandy: People give me money, I give them movies. I think I got it.
Georgie: Smart, pregnant, you're the whole package.

Mandy: It was one time.
Georgie: It was more than one time.
Mandy: It was one night, and it was a mistake.
Georgie: Oh, really? Then maybe I should go out with that girl.
Mandy: Maybe you should.
Georgie: Fine. And maybe you should go out with someone, too.
Mandy: Right, because there's nothing men want more than a girl with a baby pushing against her bladder.
Georgie: You want me to pull over at that Wendy's? Their restroom's pretty nice.
Mandy: Yes, I do.

Mary: And what's going on with you?
Mandy: Oh, high blood pressure. Doctor wants me on bed rest.
Mary: Probably worried about preeclampsia.
Mandy: Did everyone read this book?

Georgie: Anybody home?
Mandy: Hey.
Georgie: What's with all the pink?
Mandy: Uh, it's 'cause... it's my party, and I'm a girl.
Georgie: Makes sense.

Mandy: Missy's a good kid. I'm sure she's okay.
Mary: [sighs] I was a good kid. Didn't stop me from getting into trouble.
Mandy: [chuckles] Me, too. One time, I was at this party and... Actually, never mind. The important thing is we survived.
Mary: Yes, we did. [inhales deeply] You just want your children to have an easier time of it.
Mandy: Easier. My baby's gonna have a broke single mom and a teenage dad.
Mary: Mm-hmm. Let me get you some more tea.
Mandy: Okay.

Mandy: Wait, who said her last name's gonna be Cooper?
Georgie: Well, that's my last name.
Mandy: Yeah, and mine's McAllister.
Georgie: Yeah, but I'm the dad.
Mandy: So?
Georgie: I think that's just the rule.
Mandy: Not my rule.
Georgie: Well, all right. Let's not fight about it. I'm pretty sure she can hear us.
Mandy: Yeah, you're probably right. [clears throat] Please don't have a giant head!

Brenda Sparks: Is there anyone else I can call for you? Maybe your mom?
Mandy: No, I can't deal with her right now. Maybe after they give me drugs.

George: [enters] Hey.
Mandy: What's going on with you two?
Mary: Nothing.
George: We're fine.
Mandy: You know what, if you're gonna fight, can you do it out loud? 'Cause I could really use the distraction.
Mary: No one's fighting.
Mandy: [pained groan] Where is that big needle? I was promised a big needle.