Sheldon: Since when is it Pancake Sunday?
Mary: Since today.
Sheldon: No, it's not. It's Kellogg's Bran Buds Sunday, like it's been for the past three years.
Mary: Well, I thought it would be fun. I'll- I'll make you any kind of pancake you want.
Sheldon: On Bran Buds Sunday?
Mary: Fine. I'll put Bran Buds in the pancakes.
Sheldon: That could work.
[cut to Mary watching Sheldon eat at the kitchen table:]
Sheldon: [mouth full] It doesn't work. [spits out food]

Sheldon: Mom.
Mary: [wakes up] What is it, Sheldon?
Sheldon: I know you had some questions about Star Trek, so I've compiled a detailed guide outlining all the shows, characters, and how they fit in a timeline.
Mary: Can we do this later? I've got a headache.
Sheldon: Unfortunately not. If we don't do it now, you'll be completely lost when we watch The Animated Series this afternoon.
Mary: Just 20 more minutes.
Sheldon: Mom, this is almost a hundred pages. We have to get started. In the 23rd century, alien races from around the galaxy have come together to form the United Federation of Planets, which is... open your eyes... Headquartered in San Francisco.

Mary: Oh. I didn't realize my mom had company.
Dale: Yeah. Uh, do I have to pretend I didn't spend the night here, or...? I don't know how this works.
Mary: It's fine, uh... you could've said nothing, but now I know.
Dale: Yeah. What's with the pancakes?
Mary: Oh, I made extra, so I was just bringing 'em by.
Meemaw: [o.s.] Who's at the door?
Dale: It's Mary! She knows I slept with you. Come on in.

Dale: I was trying to convince your mom to go fishing with me.
Mary: Oh, fishing, that could be fun.
Meemaw: I ain't going fishing. I'd go to a flea market.
Mary: Oh, I do love a flea market.
Dale: Eh, I don't want to buy some dead guy's pants.
Mary: Oh, the outlet malls are still having their holiday sales.
Dale: I'd rather die and have you sell my pants at the flea market.

Dale: [sighs] All right, well, let's break it down. If you don't go on the date, Mandy might be upset with you.
Georgie: Right.
Dale: But if you do go, you might feel guilty.
Georgie: Right, but if I don't go, the new girl's gonna get stood up, and she'll be mad.
Dale: Georgie, you can't live your life afraid that women are gonna get mad at you. It's just what they're born to do.
Georgie: Makes sense.
Dale: I'm not a woman. I'm mad at you right now.

Mandy: Georgie, it's fine. You can flirt with other girls.
Georgie: It doesn't feel like I should.
Mandy: Well, we're not a couple.
Georgie: I know, but we're having a baby together. That ain't nothing.
Mandy: All I'm saying is, you're not tied down.
Georgie: Don't I get a vote in that?
Mandy: Yeah, you get a vote. But we get two votes. You're not tied down.

Mandy: It was one time.
Georgie: It was more than one time.
Mandy: It was one night, and it was a mistake.
Georgie: Oh, really? Then maybe I should go out with that girl.
Mandy: Maybe you should.
Georgie: Fine. And maybe you should go out with someone, too.
Mandy: Right, because there's nothing men want more than a girl with a baby pushing against her bladder.
Georgie: You want me to pull over at that Wendy's? Their restroom's pretty nice.
Mandy: Yes, I do.

Mary: Hey, you're home. How was golf?
George: Fun. Wayne hit a duck. [Mary doesn't laugh] Yeah, maybe you had to be there.

Mary: Actually... [sighs] without church, Sundays are feeling kind of empty.
George: Aw. Hey, next Sunday we'll do something.
Mary: It's not just Sundays. I had Bible study, prayer group. I had a whole community.
George: So, find a new one. You- You just got to get involved. You know, make some friends.
Mary: You make it sound so easy.
George: Oh, come on. Sheldon has got school friends. How hard could it be?

Georgie: Hey. You said if I ever had a problem, I could come to you, right?
George: Yeah, of course.
Georgie: Not to mention, you got all bent out of shape when I asked Dale for advice instead of you.
George: I didn't get all bent out of shape.
Georgie: That ain't what Dale said.
George: You want my advice or what?

Georgie: So here's the deal. There was a cute girl flirting with me at the video store, and Mandy saw us.
George: Got it. And now Mandy's mad at you.
Georgie: Actually I'm kind of mad at her.
George: Why?
Georgie: She told me I should ask her out.
George: The cute girl?
Georgie: I mean, I know Mandy and I ain't together, but I thought I was wearing her down.
George: You do have that effect on people.

Mary: You watching your Star Trek show?
Sheldon: I am.
Mary: Mind if I join?
Sheldon: Not at all. But I must warn you, it's addictive. [TV plays]
Mary: Is that one Mr. Spock?
Sheldon: No, there's no Mr. Spock. This is Deep Space Nine, not TOS.
Mary: Sorry, I thought this was Star Trek.
Sheldon: It is Star Trek. It's Star Trek: Deep Space Nine. And this is the first episode, so I'm trying to pay attention.
Mary: Sorry. [theme music plays on TV] Is that it? Is it over?
Sheldon: Well, that's just part one. There's a whole 'nother hour.
Mary: Oh.

Mandy: He's on a date.
Meemaw: Why, that little...
Mandy: No, it's okay. I told him to.
Meemaw: Why the hell would you do that?
Mandy: Why are you yelling at me?
Meemaw: Because you got me all riled up, and I got to point it somewhere.
Mandy: Look... [sighs] I have enough going on here without worrying about being in some relationship. Plus, Georgie deserves to have a life.
Meemaw: So y'all are good, and I don't have to be mad at anybody?
Mandy: Right.
Meemaw: Huh. I'm gonna go call Dale and pick a fight.

Mary: That sounds fun.
Brenda Sparks: Does it? ... Would you... [sighs] want to join us?
Mary: Oh, well... so long as I'm not butting in.
Brenda Sparks: Well, I have to warn you, it's kind of a salty group. I don't want you to be shocked.
Mary: You've met my mother.
Brenda Sparks: That's true.

Mandy: What are you watching?
Meemaw: The crap-I-don't-need channel.