Mary: Too bad. We are going.
Sheldon: Class is starting tomorrow. I'm not going anywhere.
Mary: Sheldon, do not argue with me. You are going home.
Sheldon: Mom, the people of Germany are obsessed with rules and devoid of humor. I am home.

Mary: Shelly, sit down.
Sheldon: Why?
Mary: Just sit. [sighs] I don't know how else to say this other than just to say it. [exhales] We have to go home.
Sheldon: Oh, no, who did Germany invade now?

Missy: You made fun of her for not having the right insurance?
Dale: It was a joke. The only thing I got wrong was the timing. If I said it two or three years later, everybody's laughing their ass off.

Mary: [on the phone] I have to come home.
George: Well, Sheldon's not gonna be real happy about that.
Mary: George, when is he ever happy?
[cut to Sheldon biting into a pretzel he just bought from a stall:]
Sheldon: This is the greatest pretzel I've ever had. Ich bin ein Heidelberger! [crowd cheer]

Dale: Oh, listen, come on. As long as it takes you to rebuild your place, you always got a home right here with me.
Meemaw: Thank you. Thank you. [hugs Dale] Well, I don't want to be a freeloader. I-I'll pay you rent.
Dale: Great.
Meemaw: My house just blew away, you're supposed to say no!
Dale: Well, you offered.

Georgie: Actually, maybe Meemaw can take Sheldon's room, and Mandy and I can take Mom and Dad's room with the bigger bed.
George: Really? You want to sleep on the mattress you were conceived on?
Mandy: Ew.
Missy: Ew.
Mandy: Wait, you've had the same mattress for 18 years?
George: There's nothing wrong with it. It's a Sealy.

Dale: Hey, how's it going?
Meemaw: I don't have coverage for tornados.
Dale: So call it a hurricane.
Meemaw: I did.
Dale: Flood?
Meemaw: I tried that.
Dale: Locusts?
Meemaw: You're not helping.

Dale: Hi. Is your meemaw home?
Missy: She took the baby for a walk.
Dale: Oh. [awkward silence] Is she gonna be gone long?
Missy: Do you want to wait? I just made a pot of coffee.
Dale: You like coffee?
Missy: I'm about to find out. Come on in, I don't want to air condition the whole neighborhood.
Dale: Well, sure. Thank you.

Mandy: What is it about a tornado that makes people want to gamble?
Georgie: Don't know. Guess they're happy to be alive, scared they're gonna die.
Mandy: If we had an earthquake, I bet we could retire.
Georgie: Here's to hoping.

Dale: Hi. I brought you flowers.
Meemaw: Thank you.
Dale: I was stupid.
Meemaw: No, I was stupid.
Dale: This feels like a trap.
Meemaw: I was embarrassed about the insurance thing, 'cause I didn't think anything like this was gonna ever happen to me, and... now I've lost everything. Worse, I've lost living with Mandy and my little great-granddaughter, and... I liked that.
Dale: Yeah, I get it. But look on the bright side, you're running a successful criminal enterprise. Before you know it, you're gonna have enough money to rebuild. Assuming you stay out of jail. [Meemaw pulls a face and walks off] Eh, two years from now, that's gonna be so funny.

George: [on the phone with Mary] There's nothing to do. I got it under control.
Missy: Hey, where are the extra sheets?
George: We have extra sheets?
Mary: They're in the linen closet.
George: We have a linen closet?
Mary: Yes!

Georgie: Good morning.
Missy: Eggs are on the table. Here's some toast. Bacon's coming up.
Georgie: Wow, look at you being Mom.
Missy: Say that again, and you can make your own lunch.
Georgie: Oh, you're touchy like Mom, too.

George: [toilet flushing] Bathroom's free.
Missy: You wash your hands?
George: Yes.
Missy: Dad?
[Missy sighs as George turns around and heads back to the bathroom]

Sheldon: I brought you a wiener schnitzel.
Mary: Thank you.
Sheldon: I tried it. It's yucky.

Mary: Um... there was a tornado back home. Everybody's okay, but your meemaw's house was destroyed.
Sheldon: But everyone's okay, that's confirmed?
Mary: Thank God, yes.
Sheldon: You're thanking the deity who sent the tornado?