Meemaw: Let me lay here for just a minute.
Mandy: Can I get you some ice or something?
Meemaw: No, no, no. You've got to stay in bed. [exhales]
Mandy: Okay. Well, you look like the "I've fallen and I can't get up" lady.
Meemaw: That's because I have fallen and I can't get up. [laughs] Okay, it hurts when I laugh. [laughing]

Mary: [sighs] Well, I can take off work and look after y'all.
Meemaw: We're fine.
Mary: Fine? You're on the floor. What happens if you need to use the bathroom?
Meemaw: Depends.
Mary: Depends on what?
Meemaw: [chuckles] No, it's a joke.
Mandy: [laughs] I got it. [both laughing]
Mary: What's the joke? Tell me.

Dr. John Sturgis: Sometimes roommates can become lifelong friends. I still exchange letters with my roommate from the mental hospital. They're written in a language he made up, but it's nice to know he cares.

Sheldon: So the data comes in here, and then it's divided into three tables that I'm calling X-sub-1, X-sub-2, X-sub-3.
Dr. John Sturgis: Good, good. And then over here, it's subjected to data normalization, so we don't end up with any duplicate data fields.
Gary: [over conference phone] I've got it. Grant Daddy.
Dr. John Sturgis: What?
Gary: The name of our company: Grant Daddy. I mean, it's sexy and sophisticated, but still John Q. Lunchpail can wrap his arms around it.
Dr. John Sturgis: Where are you?
Gary: Oh, you know, my lawyers have advised me not to say, but I'm pretty sure I'll be allowed back in the country very soon. Taxes, am I right?
Dr. John Sturgis: Huh.

Georgie: Oh, that there's a real good one. You should get it. I'll ring it up.
Robert: I don't know.
Georgie: Don't know? Whoopi Goldberg as a singing nun? What's there to think about?
Robert: I might be more in the mood for action.
Georgie: She's on the run from the mob. You'll love it. I'll ring it up.

President Hagemeyer: Oh, you want to play hardball? We can do that, too. You see, Sheldon gets a lot of perks at this university that could go away real fast.
Sheldon: But I like my perks.
President Hagemeyer: How would you like to have a roommate or two in that dorm room of yours?
Sheldon: Let's give her what she wants.
Dr. John Sturgis: Stay strong.

Sheldon: And now there's bunk beds in my room? It's like summer camp. Two words I loathe.

Dr. Nicholson: So, how are you feeling?
Mandy: Fat and disgusting.
Dr. Nicholson: I mean, are you having any discomfort, fatigue?
Mandy: Yeah, that's all I have.
Meemaw: I think what she's saying is she feels eight months pregnant.
Mandy: Eight. 800.

President Hagemeyer: Really? You poached our programmer?
Dr. Linkletter: I left him alone for five minutes to use the bathroom.
Sheldon: I don't know why you're so surprised. I'm told that business is a high-stakes game where if you're not ruthless, you're toothless.
Dr. John Sturgis: We just learned that.
Dr. Linkletter: You could have hired anyone else.
Dr. John Sturgis: Coulda, woulda, shoulda.

President Hagemeyer: Look, all I'm saying is you need us as much as we need you. Now, for example, we have a mainframe computer and you don't.
Dr. Linkletter: Ha! No mainframe, no database. Who's toothless now?
Sheldon: We can get our own mainframe.
Dr. John Sturgis: We can? They're really expensive.
Sheldon: I'm trying to be ruthless. Work with me here.
Dr. John Sturgis: We can.

Missy: I'm totally into old movies. You know, Breakfast Club, Goonies, Pretty in Pink.

Sheldon: Right now we have more important things to focus on than the name, like how are we going to build this.
Gary: Grant-opolis. Grant-cano. No, wait. The Grant Canyon. Oh, that's gonna look great on a T-shirt. Hey, what size do you guys wear?
Sheldon: [covers speaker] This is not helpful. Can't I hang up on him?
Dr. John Sturgis: Sheldon, I have to remind you...
Gary: Hello?
Dr. John Sturgis: ...he's funding the entire project. He should remain included.
Gary: Hello?
Sheldon: Fine. [uncovers speaker] The Grant Canyon is a terrible name. It sounds like a place grants go to die.
Dr. John Sturgis: Sheldon.
Sheldon: I'm including him.

Georgie: Hey, sorry I'm late. Just a reminder, Doc, I don't want to know if it's a boy or girl. I want it to be a surprise.
Meemaw: Wait, hold up. If we're all here, who's looking after the Laundromat and the video store and the, uh, other establishment?
Dr. Nicholson: Oh, the gambling room?
Meemaw: Huh?
Dr. Nicholson: It's okay. I lost a hundred bucks there last week.
Meemaw: Oh. [chuckles] Then you know we're good for the bill.

Mandy: Okay, uh, back to me. Uh, how's everything looking in the oven?
Dr. Nicholson: Well, baby seems okay, but I am concerned about your blood pressure.
Georgie: Mm. You think it's preeclampsia?
Mandy: Georgie, let the doctor talk.
Dr. Nicholson: Actually, that's a possibility.
Georgie: I read the book. Did you?
Dr. Nicholson: I'd like to put you on bed rest for a week and then recheck you.
Mandy: Is that really necessary?
Georgie & Dr. Nicholson: It is.

President Hagemeyer: Well, then I guess we'll see who gets to market first.
Sheldon: I guess we will.
President Hagemeyer: Hmm. So, have you already started programming?
Sheldon: No.
President Hagemeyer: Do you have access to a mainframe?
Sheldon: That depends. Can I use the university's mainframe?
President Hagemeyer: No.
Sheldon: Then we're still figuring it out.
President Hagemeyer: I see.
Sheldon: Well, we already have a name, do you?
President Hagemeyer: As a matter of fact, we do. We're calling it Granted.
Sheldon: Ugh, that is such a good name.
President Hagemeyer: Thank you. And what's yours?
Sheldon: Never mind.