45Quotes from ‘A German Folk Song and an Actual Adult’
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617. A German Folk Song and an Actual Adult
April 13, 2023Mandy decides to treat Georgie on his birthday. Mary is angry at Brenda but is unwilling to talk about their situation. Meanwhile, Sheldon and Missy bond over her favorite TV show.
Quote from Missy
Sheldon: While Dad's gone, I'm the man of the house, and the man of the house has to enforce the rules.
Missy: The man of the house is about to get his teeth knocked out.
Sheldon: Puberty's made you mean.
Missy: I need to know what happened on my show.
Sheldon: And you'll find out when your privileges are restored.
Missy: I can't wait that long, each episode builds on the last. Imagine a Star Trek that ends with "to be continued," and you don't get to continue.
Sheldon: That would never happen, because I follow the rules.
Missy: You are this close to a purple nurple.
Sheldon: [covers nipples] You leave my nurples alone.
Quote from George Jr.
Georgie: [sings] ♪ The stars at night ♪ ♪ Are big and bright ♪ [claps four times] ♪ Deep in the heart of Texas ♪ ♪ The prairie sky ♪ ♪ Is wide and high ♪ [Georgie and Meemaw clap four times] ♪ Deep in the heart of Texas. ♪ Remember, it's always four claps. Never three, always four.
Meemaw: You know who claps three times? Yankees.
Georgie: And as Texans, we always remember the Alamo.
Meemaw: Otherwise, we might as well just live in Oklahoma. Blech.
Quote from Sheldon
George: What you watching?
Sheldon: Beverly Hills 90210.
George: Isn't that Missy's show?
Sheldon: Yes, I'm trying to do a better job of picking up on the characters' emotional states. So, for example, this scene seems like it's about expired food, but thanks to the ominous music, I can tell it's about Kelly's eating disorder. Give it a try.
George: Well, let's see. Uh... That one's upset 'cause he's 30 years old and still in high school.
Sheldon: That's what I thought, too, but it turns out his father recently died in a car explosion.
George: Oh. Well, I can see why that would make him sad.
Sheldon: Hold on. [score playing on TV] Sad music, yep. You're good at this.
Quote from George Jr.
Georgie: I got to go clean her up, she's got old lady lipstick on her head. [to Meemaw] Well, you're an old lady. How do you get that lipstick off? [off Meemaw's look] All right, I'll figure it out myself.
Quote from Meemaw
Meemaw: All righty, I got everything we need to make chicken-fried steak and mac and cheese and tater tots.
Mandy: Healthy.
Meemaw: You said make his favorite meal. What'd you think that was gonna be, a carrot?
Quote from George Jr.
Mandy: Oh, quick, scratch my nose. [Georgie scratches Mandy's nose for her] Oh, nothing's ever felt better.
Georgie: I'm offended. [Mandy laughs]
Quote from Sheldon
Sheldon: I know a way for you to watch whatever you want.
Missy: How?
Sheldon: Your imagination.
Missy: That's stupid.
Sheldon: Did you know there's a German folk song about it?
Missy: Don't.
Sheldon: [sings] ♪ My thoughts will not cater ♪ ♪ To duke or dictator ♪ ♪ No man can deny ♪ ♪ Die gedanken sind frei. ♪ [talks] Where are you going?
Missy: Mom said no music.
Sheldon: [hums melody]
Quote from Sheldon
Missy: You have to pay attention to how they're acting. Their faces and body language.
Sheldon: You mean for subtext?
Missy: Yeah, subtext.
Sheldon: I hate subtext, I prefer text.
Missy: Then just listen to the music. If it's sad, they're sad. It's happy, they're happy.
Sheldon: Interesting. So the music's like a cheat sheet to help read social cues?
Missy: Exactly.
Sheldon: Look at that, spring break and I'm still learning.
Quote from Sheldon
Missy: What happens next?
Sheldon: Well, then she and her brother, David, get into a very heated argument over a banana.
Missy: That doesn't sound right.
Sheldon: Well, in the next scene at school, everyone gets quiet when Kelly walks up. I'm assuming it's because of the banana tiff.
Missy: There's no way the episode was about a banana.
Sheldon: I'm sorry, did you watch it?
Missy: What else happened?
Sheldon: Oh, they're also planning Kelly a surprise birthday party.
Missy: Well, that's why they got quiet. How could you not get that?
Sheldon: Well, no one said it out loud.
Quote from Sheldon
Sheldon: Well, it starts off with Kelly working out on an exercise machine.
Missy: Oh, she's dating Dylan, who was dating her best friend.
Sheldon: Mm-hmm. She gets sweatier and sweatier, which I'm assuming is because of the exercise, although it could be the weather. Los Angeles is the land of sun and fun.
Missy: Did she look upset?
Sheldon: Hard to say. She looked sweaty.
Quote from Missy
Adult Sheldon: My sister was facing the repercussions of her recent joyride by being grounded at home.
[Missy sits down on the couch and turns on the TV]
Mary: [o.s.] No TV!
[Missy sits down in her bedroom and turns on her radio]
Mary: [o.s.] No music!
[Missy is sitting at the kitchen table, reading a magazine]
Mary: No magazines. If you want, you can read a book.
Missy: I'd rather die.
Quote from Mandy
Mary: George said he was on my side, but if he was really on my side, he wouldn't say he was on my side like he had to calm down a crazy woman.
Mandy: You know, I can just buy Georgie a cake.
Quote from George Sr.
George: Well, whichever one it was, I'm on your side. Screw Brenda.
Mary: You don't even know what happened.
George: You're right. Sorry. What happened?
Mary: Well, Brenda was being overly nice, which really rubbed me the wrong way, so I tore her head off.
George: Well, I don't see what choice you had.
Mary: George, don't.
George: What? I'm on your side.
Mary: Why do I even tell you anything? [walks off]
George: Love you!
Quote from Sheldon
Sheldon: Missy, are you busy?
Missy: Do I look busy?
Sheldon: I do some of my best thinking lying down.
Missy: Yeah, well, I'm not thinking.
Sheldon: The shower is another excellent place to cogitate. Sometimes I'll just lather up and drift off...
Quote from Sheldon
Sheldon: And then she sees Dylan in the hallway and tells her that she and Kelly are friends again, and he kisses her on the forehead.
Missy: What kind of kiss was it?
Sheldon: Well, it seemed innocent, but the music was mysterious, indicating that their love triangle will totally continue.
Missy: Well, that's juicy.
Sheldon: Oh, I'm aware.
Quote from Sheldon
Sheldon: No, I've watched your program, and I can tell you everything that happened.
Missy: So you know what happens with Brandon's gambling problem? And how Dylan and Kelly are doing?
Sheldon: I do.
Missy: Okay. Wait, why would you do that for me?
Sheldon: Well, when you tried to watch the tape, I ended up watching the first seconds of it, and the completist in me had to finish it.
Missy: That's so dumb. I love it. Tell me everything.
Quote from Mary
Brenda Sparks: Okay, come on, Mary. We're friends.
Mary: Just not as good of friends as you are with my husband.
Brenda Sparks: Okay, if you're gonna keep working here, we have to figure this out.
Mary: Maybe I shouldn't work here.
Brenda Sparks: Maybe you shouldn't.
Mary: Are you firing me?
Brenda Sparks: Well, I thought you were quitting.
Mary: Maybe I was.
Brenda Sparks: Then maybe I was.
Mary: Then I am.
Brenda Sparks: Then I do.
Mary: Great, then I'm leaving.
Brenda Sparks: Well, I'm a little confused, but okay. [sighs]
Quote from George Jr.
Georgie: We're home.
Mandy: Hey, how was your walk?
Georgie: Slow. You don't know how many old ladies are in the neighborhood till you go out with a baby. Ooh, tots.
Meemaw: Hey, hands off.
Quote from Adult Sheldon
Mary: What?
Brenda Sparks: I'm not leaving until we talk this out.
Adult Sheldon: My mom's upset. Did you get it? Listen. [dramatic music plays]
Quote from Mary
Mary: Do you even think about how your actions affect other people?
Brenda Sparks: Love it. Keep it coming.
Mary: You couldn't hang on to your crappy husband, so you tried to move in on my crappy husband.
Brenda Sparks: Good, good. That hurt, but good.
Quote from Sheldon
Missy: If you want, you can watch with me next week.
Sheldon: No, thank you. Although, I would like to know who killed Dylan's dad.
Missy: Plus, what happened to David's recording contract.
Sheldon: Do you really think he's going to let that producer change his sound?
Missy: Boy, I hope not.
Sheldon: I hear you, sister.
Quote from Mary
Mary: Do you have any idea what it feels like to have your husband prefer to hang out with your best friend over you?
Brenda Sparks: I know how it feels to have my husband leave me.
Mary: Then you should know better.
Brenda Sparks: You're right.
Mary: I mean, I get that you're fun, and I'm just a churchy stick-in-the-mud.
Quote from Brenda Sparks
Brenda Sparks: Hey, welcome back. How's little Constance doing?
Mary: We're calling her CeeCee.
Brenda Sparks: Well, that's just the cutest.
Mary: Mm-hmm.
Brenda Sparks: Oh, I got you coffee. Don't worry, it's not the sludge we serve. I got it from the 7-Eleven on the corner.
Mary: Thank you, but I'm fine.
Brenda Sparks: Are you sure? I put some of those flavored creamers in it. Fancy.
Quote from Mandy
Mandy: Hey, I was thinking about doing something nice for Georgie's birthday.
Meemaw: How nice? 'Cause I'm all set with great-grandchildren for now.
Mandy: Well, I just gave birth and he's seeing another woman, so I was thinking maybe a cake and some of his favorite food.
Meemaw: That's sweet, you're gonna cook.
Mandy: Actually, uh... [looks pleadingly at Meemaw]
Meemaw: Okay. I'll do the food, you handle the cake.
Mandy: Great. Hey, uh, does Mary know how to bake?
Meemaw: Yeah.
Mandy: Perfect.
Quote from Meemaw
Mandy: She's finally napping.
Meemaw: Great. You get 20 minutes. What you gonna do? Sleep, bathe, eat?
Mandy: No, I took a bath a few days ago. I think I'm set.
Meemaw: Those baths aren't just for you.
Quote from George Sr.
Missy: So, are you gonna be mad at me forever?
George: No, not forever. But I'm not gonna be done anytime soon.
Missy: Okay, look, I know I'm grounded and I'm missing spring break, and I totally deserve it.
George: There better not be a "but."
Missy: There isn't. However... I need to catch up on 90210 because everyone will be talking about it Monday, and if I miss it, I might as well not even go back to school.
George: Too bad.
Missy: Come on, even prisoners get to go out to the yard for an hour a day.
George: [sighs] Fair enough. There's the yard. Knock yourself out.
Quote from Sheldon
Adult Sheldon: And I, despite being innocent of all wrongdoing, was being punished as well. Not by my parents, but by society and their insistence on a "spring break."
Sheldon: One whole week of no school. No fair.
Mary: You two should do something together. Go outside, take a walk.
Sheldon: I'd rather die.
Missy: I'd rather read.
Quote from Mandy
Mandy: You miss being 18?
Meemaw: No, pretty happy where I am right now.
Mandy: Yeah, me, too.
Meemaw: I'm lying.
Mandy: Yeah, me, too.
Quote from Mandy
Georgie: It ain't a big deal.
Meemaw: What do you mean, it's not a big deal? You're gonna be 18. You can legally buy me cigarettes.
Mandy: And CeeCee's excited her dad's gonna be an actual adult and she doesn't have to change the subject every time his age comes up.
Georgie: If I wasn't mature, that'd probably hurt my feelings. And you don't have to get me anything. She's enough.
Mandy: Glad you like her. I didn't save the receipt.
Quote from George Jr.
Mandy: Good morning, CeeCee.
Georgie: [chuckles] She's fed, she's changed and we got through the first two verses of "Deep in the Heart of Texas."
Mandy: Did you tell her about the claps?
Georgie: Of course.
Mandy: Good.
Quote from Meemaw
Mandy: Hey, how long have you been here?
Georgie: [chuckles] I just came to check on her before work. She was up and you were snoring like a buzz saw.
Mandy: I do not snore.
Georgie: Okay.
Meemaw: Be nice.
Georgie: You didn't hear it?
Meemaw: I didn't say that. I said, "Be nice."
Quote from George Jr.
Mandy: Happy birthday.
Georgie: There is something else you could do for my birthday.
Mandy: I had a baby two weeks ago. No.
Georgie: Not that.
Mandy: Then what?
Georgie: Marry me.
Quote from Brenda Sparks
Brenda Sparks: Mary, I don't even think it was about me. It could've been anybody.
Mary: That doesn't make me feel better.
Brenda Sparks: I just mean I'm not his wife. Which makes me easier to talk to. Don't make it right, but talk's all it was.
Mary: Are you sure?
Brenda Sparks: I swear. Like how sometimes it was easier for you to talk to Pastor Rob?
Mary: But shouldn't George and I want to talk to each other?
Brenda Sparks: Don't ask me, I couldn't hang on to my "crappy husband."
Mary: Sorry about that.
Brenda Sparks: No. It's true.
Mary: You want to talk about it?
Brenda Sparks: That'd be nice. George around? [off Mary's look] Okay, not ready to joke.
Quote from George Jr.
Mandy: You're home early.
Georgie: Yeah.
Mandy: How was your date?
Georgie: Actually, we broke up.
Mandy: Oh. What happened?
Georgie: Nothing, I just wanted to be here.
Mandy: Really?
Georgie: Yeah.
Mandy: That's what we wanted, too. [they kiss]
Quote from George Jr.
Georgie: Thanks again for taking me out.
Amber: You don't want to spend the night at home with some crying baby.
Georgie: I don't know. When it's your kid, the crying doesn't bother you as much.
Amber: You're not gonna be one of those parents that brings their babies to restaurants, are you?
Georgie: You bet. Wrap her up like a burrito, she'd fit right in.
Amber: Well, tonight, you don't have to think about that. We can just have fun.
Georgie: I like the sound of that. You do mean sex, right?
Amber: What do you think?
Georgie: Hmm, maybe I shouldn't get the chimichangas.
Quote from George Jr.
Georgie: Mm, I love me some Chi-Chi's.
Amber: You're a cheap date.
Georgie: You say that now. Wait till you see how many chimichangas I can put away.
Amber: It's your birthday. Have as many as you want.
Georgie: You may regret that.
Quote from Brenda Sparks
Mary: We have nothing to talk about.
Brenda Sparks: Fine. Then let's just yell at each other.
Mary: I'm not yelling at you.
Brenda Sparks: Mary, we're neighbors, our kids are friends. We're gonna be in each other's lives for a long time. Let's do this.
Mary: I am busy. I am making a cake.
Brenda Sparks: And I'm talking to a pain in the ass who won't admit she's mad.
Mary: I'm not mad.
Brenda Sparks: Really? [Mary gasps as Brenda runs her finger through the cake and licks the frosting] How about now?
Mary: Back yard.
Quote from Meemaw
Mary: And it's fine, I will make the cake.
Mandy: Thank you.
Mary: I've got plenty of time. It's not like I have a job to go to.
Meemaw: What happened?
Mary: You don't want to know.
Meemaw: Sold.
Quote from Missy
Sheldon: Well, I was thinking about what you said about Star Trek and how it'd be hard to watch part one and not part two.
Missy: So I can watch 90210?
Sheldon: No, but I can offer you the next best thing: theater of the mind.
Missy: This is why people hate you.
Quote from Mary
George: Hey, you're home early.
Mary: I'm sorry, am I bothering you?
George: No, just thought you'd still be at work.
Mary: Well, I'm not. I don't work there anymore. Brenda and I got in a fight.
George: Wait, what? Did you get fired?
Mary: Yes. Or maybe I quit. I don't know, it's unclear.
Quote from Mary
Brenda Sparks: Hey, Mary, you get a chance to send out those checks?
Mary: Not yet, but I'll get to it.
Brenda Sparks: All right. It's just that, the checks to the vendors go out on Tuesdays, and it's Thursday.
Mary: I know the days of the week, Brenda.
Brenda Sparks: Okay.
Mary: You want checks? Here's checks. Mancuso Maintenance. $45. There you go.
Brenda Sparks: Mary...
Mary: Lone Star Vending. $200.
Brenda Sparks: Okay, if you're mad, just talk to me instead of whatever this is.
Mary: I'm not mad.
Quote from Mary
Mary: I really have a lot of work to catch up on.
Brenda Sparks: Of course. Well, I will leave you to it. But later on, I want to see pictures of that baby.
Mary: I don't have any with me.
Brenda Sparks: Well, you can describe her to me.
Mary: [sighs] She's about yay big and bald. Nothing you ain't seen before.
Brenda Sparks: Sounds adorable. [steps out] Do you want this open or...
Mary: Closed.
Brenda Sparks: Yep.
Quote from Sheldon
Mary: I got to go to work. Keep an eye on her.
Sheldon: I will.
Mary: I was talking to your father, but actually, sure.
Quote from Missy
Mary: You could make a card for Georgie. It's his birthday Saturday.
Missy: You're right, I need to get him a gift. I should go to the mall.
George: You're not going anywhere.
Missy: But it's my only brother's 18th birthday.
Sheldon: Excuse me.
Missy: Fine, it's my favorite brother's 18th birthday.
Sheldon: Better.
Quote from Mandy
Meemaw: What you planning for your birthday?
Georgie: Probably just gonna take it easy.
Mandy: Oh, my God. Saturday's your birthday. I totally forgot.
Georgie: Don't worry about it. Honestly, I don't even know what today is.
Meemaw: Thursday.
Mandy: It's Thursday? Really? That's weird.