Mandy Quotes

Quote from the episode An Ugly Car, an Affair and Some Kickass Football

Meemaw: Well, the laundromat's a cash business.
Mandy: That's mostly just quarters, though, isn't it?
Meemaw: Uh, yeah, but, well, now we've got the video store, and I'm not real big on banks.
Mandy: Because you lived through the Depression?
Meemaw: Yeah. [insincere laugh]

Quote from the episode A Romantic Getaway and a Germanic Meat-Based Diet

Mandy: Are you that worried about the massage? You know, you don't have to get one.
George Jr.: It ain't the massage. Well, it's a little the massage. They ain't gonna touch my butt, are they?
Mandy: Oh, yes. I ordered the couples' butt massage. I paid extra for it.
George Jr.: Really?
Mandy: No, dummy.

Quote from the episode Four Hundred Cartons of Undeclared Cigarettes and a Niblingo

Missy: Do you hate Georgie?
Mandy: No. No, Georgie's a good guy. If anything, I hate myself for making bad decisions.
Missy: Like having sex before marriage?
Mandy: More like having tequila before sex.
Mary: Hey. What's going on here?
Missy: Mandy was just telling me how she got pregnant.
Mandy: No, no...
Missy: But you said...
Mandy: No.
Missy: No.

Quote from the episode Legalese and a Whole Hoo-Ha

George Jr.: How's it going? Figure everything out?
Mandy: People give me money, I give them movies. I think I got it.
George Jr.: Smart, pregnant, you're the whole package.

Quote from the episode A New Weather Girl and a Stay-at-Home Coddler

George Jr.: Oh, you're out and about early.
Mandy: Yeah, got a lot going on today. Connie's taking me out shopping and then to the salon to get ready for my interview.
George Jr.: Nice. A little mommy-daughter day?
Mandy: Daddy-daughter day. Here ya go.
George Jr.: I have work.
Mandy: Well, I like to think fatherhood is a full-time job.
George Jr.: How am I gonna feed her? I don't have the... you know.
Mandy: Formula's in the bag. Tag, you're it. Bye, CeeCee.

Quote from the episode Little Green Men and a Fella's Marriage Proposal

Mandy: You're a pediatrician, he's being a child.
George Jr.: How does wanting us to be a family make me a child?
Mandy: You really want to have this fight in front of a stranger?
George Jr.: Married people fight all the time, right?
Dr. Bell: Uh...
Mandy: You don't have to answer that. And no, they don't.
Dr. Bell: Actually...
Mandy: I said don't answer.

Quote from the episode A Baby Shower and Testosterone-Rich Banter

George Jr.: Anybody home?
Mandy: Hey.
George Jr.: What's with all the pink?
Mandy: Uh, it's 'cause... it's my party, and I'm a girl.
George Jr.: Makes sense.

Quote from the episode A Launch Party and a Whole Human Being

Mandy: Wait, who said her last name's gonna be Cooper?
George Jr.: Well, that's my last name.
Mandy: Yeah, and mine's McAllister.
George Jr.: Yeah, but I'm the dad.
Mandy: So?
George Jr.: I think that's just the rule.
Mandy: Not my rule.
George Jr.: Well, all right. Let's not fight about it. I'm pretty sure she can hear us.
Mandy: Yeah, you're probably right. [clears throat] Please don't have a giant head!

Quote from the episode Little Green Men and a Fella's Marriage Proposal

Dr. Bell: Just a warning, she's gonna get some shots today.
Mandy: Okay, kid. You don't cry, I don't cry. Actually, I'm gonna cry either way, but you don't cry.

Quote from the episode An Ugly Car, an Affair and Some Kickass Football

George Jr.: I know it's a lot.
Mandy: It's amazing. [chuckles]
George Jr.: It is?
Mandy: My kid's going to private school. You're going to private school!

Quote from the episode A New Weather Girl and a Stay-at-Home Coddler

Meemaw: Want some?
Mandy: No, I'm good.
Meemaw: You sure?
Mandy: Yeah, I slept almost four hours last night. I feel like a tiger.
Meemaw: Good for you.
Mandy: Brushed my hair, I brushed my teeth, I may even go outside today.
Chip: [on TV] Wow, an 80% chance of rain.
Mandy: Never mind.

Quote from the episode A New Weather Girl and a Stay-at-Home Coddler

Meemaw: Who is this guy? Where's perky Heather with today's weather?
Mandy: I don't know, I think the sports guy's filling in.
Chip: [on TV] This storm is just gonna make a full-court press. And just run right on past Houston, right on past Lufkin, all the way over to Medford over here...
Meemaw: He ain't even pointin' at Medford.
Chip: That's a drive that Jack Nicklaus would be proud of right there.
Mandy: I used to do that job. You know, it's not as easy as you'd think. [cheerful voice] You got to look forward, but point backward while reading the script. All with sunshine in your voice.
Meemaw: I could actually hear the sunshine in your voice.
Mandy: Thanks. [CeeCee cries over baby monitor] Now back to CeeCee in the nursery with screaming.

Quote from the episode A New Weather Girl and a Stay-at-Home Coddler

George Jr.: Well, I'm just sayin' don't you kind of have your hands full with CeeCee?
Mandy: Well, there's a lot of family around to help.
George Jr.: Well, I know, but...
Mandy: And I was always gonna go back to work.
George Jr.: If it's about money, we're good.
Mandy: You live in a garage.
George Jr.: It ain't a garage if there ain't a car in it.
Mandy: Yeah, it is.

Quote from the episode Four Hundred Cartons of Undeclared Cigarettes and a Niblingo

Sheldon: Mandy: Are you Georgie's brother and sister?
Missy: Yeah.
Mandy: I'm Mandy. I'm Georgie's... I'm Mandy.

Quote from the episode White Trash, Holy Rollers and Punching People

Mandy: So, you really think my folks'll come around?
Meemaw: I don't know 'em, but babies have a magical power over people, especially grandparents.
Mandy: Is that how you felt when Georgie was born?
Meemaw: Oh, it was love at first sight.
Mandy: And then 17 years later he got me pregnant.
Meemaw: You're not gonna let that go, are you?
Mandy: Nope.
Meemaw: Hmm.

Quote from the episode A Frat Party, a Sleepover and the Mother of All Blisters

Mandy: Missy's a good kid. I'm sure she's okay.
Mary: [sighs] I was a good kid. Didn't stop me from getting into trouble.
Mandy: [chuckles] Me, too. One time, I was at this party and... Actually, never mind. The important thing is we survived.
Mary: Yes, we did. [inhales deeply] You just want your children to have an easier time of it.
Mandy: Easier. My baby's gonna have a broke single mom and a teenage dad.
Mary: Mm-hmm. Let me get you some more tea.
Mandy: Okay.

Quote from the episode An Ugly Car, an Affair and Some Kickass Football

George Jr.: All right, almost there.
Mandy: I don't know about this. The last surprise you got me is pressing on my bladder.

Quote from the episode A New Weather Girl and a Stay-at-Home Coddler

Mandy: All right, let's take a look at our forecast for tonight. Winds from the west are headed our way, taking temperatures down to a cool 43 degrees. But you know what they say in Texas... if you don't like the weather, wait five minutes. [chuckles] Actually, I've never said that, but my Aunt Bonnie does. She's not wrong though, because those chilly days are gonna pass us by, and by the weekend we're looking at sunny and 72.
Adult Sheldon: Mandy was proving that new mothers could do anything anyone else could do. In fact, they could do more, like make their own milk, right there, on camera. [Mandy crosses her arms]
Eric: Everything okay?
Mandy: Not if you live on the coast, because there is a storm front building, so we need to keep an eye on, uh, these clouds right here. [Mandy points with her head] Uh, but there's a low-pressure system building, um, over here... [Mandy turns her back to the camera to point with her arms] And, uh, well, then, that could bring rain to, uh, to this whole area here. [Mandy gestures with her foot] So, for Channel 7 weather, I'm Mandy McAllister. Good night. [Mandy walks off with her arms still crossed]

Quote from the episode An Ugly Car, an Affair and Some Kickass Football

Mandy: Well, thanks again. That was fun.
George Jr.: Really? Dinner with my family?
Mandy: My family won't talk to me at all. So, I'll take "niblingo" and a home-cooked meal any day.
George Jr.: Well, you're always welcome.
Mandy: I think there's ice cream in the freezer, if you want to come in. I mean, I'm gonna eat it, but you can watch.

Quote from the episode A New Weather Girl and a Stay-at-Home Coddler

Meemaw: Well, that's a look. [off Mandy's look] That's also a look.
Mandy: I can't find anything to wear for my interview.
Meemaw: Well, let's see. Hmm. That's pretty cute.
Mandy: "Can't find" was code for "can't fit into."