Sheldon: I started working on this presentation to address specific ethical dilemmas. The laws of robotics, whether torture can be justified, and cloning people for fun and spare parts. But I realized before resolving any of these moral quandaries, the real decision is who gets to decide. Do we put it up for a vote? Does everyone get to decide for themselves? Should it be by committee? Is that committee elected or appointed? You see where I'm going? You probably don't. For the smartest decision, we need the smartest person. Ladies and gentlemen, in the field of scientific ethics, we can't rely on democracy or plutocracy. We need an autocracy, or to be more precise, a "Sheldocracy." [slams fist] [military march plays]
Dr. John Sturgis: Um, I don't think this was the assignment.
Sheldon: Sorry, Dr. Sturgis, I pick the assignments now. Everybody, for next class, I want 500 words on what you can do to further the Sheldocracy. Punishment for typos will be severe.
Dr. John Sturgis: Class dismissed.
Sheldon: Hey, that's my line.
Dr. John Sturgis: No, it isn't.
Sheldon: Why don't you see me after class. Class dismissed.

Sheldon: Good morning, everyone. Niblingo.
Mandy: I'm sorry, what?
Sheldon: It's an honorific I came up with to describe a woman who's carrying my future niece or nephew but is not related to me by law.
Missy: You remember Sheldon.
Mandy: I do.
Missy: [nods] Yeah.

Meemaw: You looking for a new church?
Mary: Not yet.
Meemaw: 'Cause I can see you going Catholic. You got a "get thee to a nunnery" vibe.

Sheldon: Dr. Sturgis. I don't think I can do the assignment.
Dr. John Sturgis: Why not? Just pick either side of any ethical argument and present it.
Sheldon: But how do I know which argument to present?
Dr. John Sturgis: Any one you want.
Sheldon: And how do I know which side to take?
Dr. John Sturgis: Any side you want.
Sheldon: But I want to take the right side.
Dr. John Sturgis: Maybe there is no right side.
Sheldon: [groans] This is torture, and that can't be ethical.
Dr. John Sturgis: There you go! You picked a subject. And a side.
Sheldon: Oh. Good. Torture is unethical. That's clearly the correct position.
Dr. John Sturgis: I agree. But what if there's a bomb hidden underneath the city and someone says that the only way to find out its location is through torture? Answer that.
Sheldon: Let's see. Batman plays by Gotham City rules and would use torture, but Superman's got those Midwest values. I hate ethics!

Sheldon: Can you two help me with my homework?
George: Did I hear him right?
Missy: Yeah, he asked for help.
George: With his schoolwork?
Missy: Yep.
George: How long have you known him?
Missy: All my life.
George: Has he ever asked for help?
Missy: No.
Sheldon: Hello.

Mandy: Hey, uh, what's the bathroom situation?
Georgie: Oh, I pay rent. You can use the one in the house.
Mandy: Good, I was afraid you were gonna say that sink.
Georgie: [scoffs] The sink? That's kind of gross.
Mandy: I'll be right back. [exits]
Georgie: Looks like you're just a sink again. [tap drips]

George: It's like she's a different person.
Dale: That reminds me of a film. A lady fell off a boat, she hit her head, and when she woke up, she was a completely different person.
George: What's your point?
Dale: Did Mary fall off a boat recently?
George: Not that I know of.
Dale: Well, you should ask her.
George: We're not boat people, Dale.

Dr. John Sturgis: Ethically, can science ever go too far? Just because we can do something, does that mean we should do something?
Sheldon: [raises hand] Yes.
Dr. John Sturgis: I haven't finished.
Sheldon: I'm sorry, go on.
Dr. John Sturgis: Ethically, should science have any limitations?
Sheldon: [raises hand] No.
Dr. John Sturgis: Interesting. What about human cloning?
Sheldon: More of me? Yes, please.
Dr. John Sturgis: Well, what about more of everyone else?
Sheldon: [looks around] No, thank you.

Dr. John Sturgis: What about, uh, dinosaurs?
Sheldon: Herbivores, yes. Carnivores, no.
Dr. John Sturgis: Well, what about the herbivores who can squash you like a bug?
Sheldon: Good point. No dinosaurs.
Dr. John Sturgis: So, cloning is unethical?
Sheldon: Right.
Dr. John Sturgis: But what if we were to clone Albert Einstein?
Sheldon: That would be swell. At some point, I'm going to need a sidekick.
Dr. John Sturgis: So, cloning is ethical?
Sheldon: Right, because Albert Einstein, unlike the dinosaur, harmed no one.
Dr. John Sturgis: I think the victims of the atomic bomb, which his discoveries helped create, might disagree.

Mary: Oh, Passion, not the stable. That's where the horses do their business.

Georgie: Why is it so dark in there?
Mandy: No reason.
Georgie: What's with the candles? Are you on a date?
Mandy: You think I'd dress like this on a date?
Georgie: I think you look good.
Mandy: Well, I don't, and if I was on a date, it'd be none of your business.
Georgie: Then why are you sitting in the dark?
Mandy: Okay. It's not a big deal. I was a little short on the power bill this month.
Georgie: How come?
Mandy: Well, waiting tables and morning sickness, not a great combination. Definitely got reflected in my tips.

Georgie: Don't worry. I'll pay to get your power turned back on.
Mandy: I'm not a charity case. I can figure this out on my own.
Georgie: But you can't even watch TV. What kind of life is that?
Mandy: It's fine. I can hear the neighbors fight. That's almost as good as TV.

Georgie: Well, I'll leave you with this. There's some ice cream in there. You might want to make that a priority.
Mandy: [scoffs] Okay. Good night.
Georgie: I got you the kind with three different flavors 'cause I didn't know what you liked.
Mandy: Bye.
Georgie: It's chocolate, vanilla and pink.

Georgie: This is a surprise.
Mandy: Sorry to just drop in.
Georgie: No. No, it's okay. Let me just... Sorry. The cleaning lady didn't come today.
Mandy: Your mother?
Georgie: [scoffs] Good one.

Georgie: Oh, you hungry? You want some SpaghettiOs? [holds up an open can with spoon] I'm sorry, that was rude. [swaps spoon] There's your clean spoon. [licks food off his thumb]