Mandy: It was one time.
Georgie: It was more than one time.
Mandy: It was one night, and it was a mistake.
Georgie: Oh, really? Then maybe I should go out with that girl.
Mandy: Maybe you should.
Georgie: Fine. And maybe you should go out with someone, too.
Mandy: Right, because there's nothing men want more than a girl with a baby pushing against her bladder.
Georgie: You want me to pull over at that Wendy's? Their restroom's pretty nice.
Mandy: Yes, I do.

Missy: Do you hate Georgie?
Mandy: No. No, Georgie's a good guy. If anything, I hate myself for making bad decisions.
Missy: Like having sex before marriage?
Mandy: More like having tequila before sex.
Mary: Hey. What's going on here?
Missy: Mandy was just telling me how she got pregnant.
Mandy: No, no...
Missy: But you said...
Mandy: No.
Missy: No.

Meemaw: Well, the laundromat's a cash business.
Mandy: That's mostly just quarters, though, isn't it?
Meemaw: Uh, yeah, but, well, now we've got the video store, and I'm not real big on banks.
Mandy: Because you lived through the Depression?
Meemaw: Yeah. [insincere laugh]

Georgie: Well, I can write you a letter if you want.
Mandy: Please don't.
Georgie: Why not?
Mandy: 'Cause your spelling makes me sad.
Georgie: I can use small words.

Sheldon: Mom.
Mary: [wakes up] What is it, Sheldon?
Sheldon: I know you had some questions about Star Trek, so I've compiled a detailed guide outlining all the shows, characters, and how they fit in a timeline.
Mary: Can we do this later? I've got a headache.
Sheldon: Unfortunately not. If we don't do it now, you'll be completely lost when we watch The Animated Series this afternoon.
Mary: Just 20 more minutes.
Sheldon: Mom, this is almost a hundred pages. We have to get started. In the 23rd century, alien races from around the galaxy have come together to form the United Federation of Planets, which is... open your eyes... Headquartered in San Francisco.

Sheldon: Since when is it Pancake Sunday?
Mary: Since today.
Sheldon: No, it's not. It's Kellogg's Bran Buds Sunday, like it's been for the past three years.
Mary: Well, I thought it would be fun. I'll- I'll make you any kind of pancake you want.
Sheldon: On Bran Buds Sunday?
Mary: Fine. I'll put Bran Buds in the pancakes.
Sheldon: That could work.
[cut to Mary watching Sheldon eat at the kitchen table:]
Sheldon: [mouth full] It doesn't work. [spits out food]

Mary: Hey, Missy, you awake? [knocks] It's Pancake Sunday.
Missy: [opens door] What's that?
Mary: Well, it's a fun new thing I thought we could... Where are you going?
Missy: I told you. Six Flags with Jamie's family.
Mary: Oh. Well, I could make you pancakes first.
Missy: Pancakes and roller coasters? Do you want me to barf?
Mary: Well, no.