George: I don't know how he's gonna coach the game on Friday night.
Mary: Poor man. Can you believe his marriage falling apart like that?
George: I know. If it was gonna happen to anybody, you'd think it'd be us.
Mary: Ain't that the truth. [George chuckles]

Mandy: Uh, what's your question?
Sheldon: Thanks, Niblingo. I've heard that pregnant women eat for two. Does that mean that you need two full-size portions?
Missy: I guess Dad's pregnant then.
Mandy: One portion should be fine, considering the baby's the size of a golf ball.
Sheldon: Actually, according to my calculations, the baby's the size of a bell pepper. Although I could be off. When was your last menstruation?
Mary: You do not need to answer that.
Mandy: I was not going to.

Missy: You know, twins run in our family.
Mandy: It's not twins.
Sheldon: That's too bad. It would double your chances of having a remarkable child. Like me.
Missy: Or a child that people like.
Mary: Just eat your dinner.

Mary: What about the baby shower? People are gonna want to know.
Georgie: Oh, yeah. We got to have a baby shower. Remind me what a baby shower is.

Sheldon: Did you know the modern baby shower has history that goes back to ancient Egyptian and Greek civilizations? [Sheldon points to himself] Remarkable.

Georgie: I know it's a lot.
Mandy: It's amazing. [chuckles]
Georgie: It is?
Mandy: My kid's going to private school. You're going to private school!

Sheldon: That's Commander Data. He's an android, but he aspires to be human. Which, if you ask me, is a step in the wrong direction.

[As the rain pours down outside, Georgie finds Sheldon sitting on his bed holding a bucket]
Georgie: Hey, I brought some pizza home, come on.
Sheldon: Can't.
Georgie: Sheldon, there ain't no leaks.
Sheldon: There might be. I can't risk it.
Georgie: You want me to bring you a slice in here?
Sheldon: What about crumbs? Crumbs attract bugs. Bugs bring disease.

Georgie: All right, almost there.
Mandy: I don't know about this. The last surprise you got me is pressing on my bladder.

Georgie: Surprise.
Mandy: You got me an ugly car?
Georgie: No, I bought me a family car.
Mandy: What about your Mustang?
Georgie: I traded it in.
Mandy: For this?
Georgie: That's what the guy at the lot said.

Mandy: [scoffs] But you love that Mustang.
Georgie: Yeah, but there was no way I was gonna get a baby seat in the back.
Mandy: Well, that's very thoughtful.
Georgie: And these things are real safe, too. My mom has one. When I was little, she hit an ice cream truck with it. I didn't even wake up.

Sheldon: Niblingo, I have a question.
George: Niblingo?
Missy: He made it up.
Sheldon: I coined it because there was no word to denote the unmarried mother of our niece or nephew.
Mandy: Sheldon, that sounds rude.
Sheldon: Do you have a better word for the unmarried mother of a niece or nephew?
Mary: [exhales] I'm not sure we need one.
Mandy: I think it's sweet. Kind of.

George: What do you want to do?
Principal Petersen: Oh, I don't know. We can't leave him here.
George: Let's take him to your place.
Principal Petersen: I can't do that.
George: Why not?
Principal Petersen: If I took in every teacher with marital problems, my apartment would look like a firehouse.

George: Fine. Wayne, grab your pants. You're coming with me.
Coach Wilkins: I don't want to be around you and your happy family.
George: Happy? Uh, couple days with us and you'll be glad that kid ain't yours. Let's go. Pants.

Mandy: Well, thanks again. That was fun.
Georgie: Really? Dinner with my family?
Mandy: My family won't talk to me at all. So, I'll take "niblingo" and a home-cooked meal any day.
Georgie: Well, you're always welcome.
Mandy: I think there's ice cream in the freezer, if you want to come in. I mean, I'm gonna eat it, but you can watch.