Sheldon: Dad?
George Sr.: Yeah?
Sheldon: I'm glad you came to get me.
George Sr.: Me, too.

Principal Petersen: But I do think you're overreacting.
George Sr.: Come on. I... Would it kill her to loosen up once in a while?
Principal Petersen: Maybe that's just not who she is.
George Sr.: What if it is, just not with me?
Principal Petersen: Well, what does that mean?
George Sr.: The other night I drove by the church and I saw Mary and that new youth pastor just hanging out on the curb, laughing and smoking cigarettes.
Principal Petersen: Yeah? And?
George Sr.: Well, that's not enough?
Principal Petersen: Well, is smoking even a sin? 'Cause I still light up after a roll in the hay.
George Sr.: The point is, she's capable of being fun, just... not with me.

Mary: Where are you going?
George Sr.: To get a glass of milk.
George Jr.: He's lying. He's getting a beer.
George Sr.: Shut up, Georgie.

Mary: Oh, before you open that, could you pick up Sheldon so I can get dinner on?
George Sr.: Do I have to?
Mary: I'm sorry. I guess I'll do all the parenting around here.
George Sr.: I'm having a hell of a day. Can I get five minutes' peace?
Mary: When do I get five minutes' peace? Honestly, can you just take this one thing off my plate? [phone rings]
George Sr.: [answers phone] Hello?
Sheldon: Dad, my friends are playing Dungeons and Dragons. Can I please stay the night in my dorm room? I promise it's safe.
George Sr.: Fine with me.
Sheldon: Thank you. Bye. [hangs up] That was easy.
Mary: Who was that?
George Sr.: Sheldon. He's gonna stay the night in his dorm.
Mary: Why would you let him do that?
George Sr.: One more thing off your plate.

George Sr.: Button you pull, that's stupid.

George Jr.: Do I really got to sit through two graduations?
Mary: Yes. It is a special day for your brother and your sister.
Sheldon: I'm giving the valedictorian speech.
Missy: And I'm singing "This Land Is Your Land" with a bunch of other kids.
Mary: And we are proud of you both equally.
George Sr.: [holding the phone] Guess what. The local news wants to do story on Sheldon being valedictorian [chuckles] Isn't that great? [Mary gestures towards Missy] What?

George Sr.: I think I'll take the kids to school.
Mary: I'm sure he'll be out by the time you get home.
George Sr.: Not sure why you think that, but okay.

George Sr.: How about this? Go ahead and take the job. Yeah, if it turns out Sheldon and Missy can't look out for themselves for a couple hours after school, then well, we'll cross that bridge when we come to it.
Mary: Are you sure about this?
George Sr.: Yeah. Actually, probably good for 'em. Teach 'em a little responsibility.
Mary: That's exactly what my mom said.
George Sr.: Really? Well, I still like the idea.

Mary: I'm gonna tell you right now, we can't keep it.
George Sr.: It's not a puppy, Mary, it's 500 bucks.
Mary: It is gambling.
George Sr.: Then why'd you buy the ticket?
Mary: I didn't buy it. They gave it to me at the gas station.
George Sr.: Okay, well, that sounds like a gift from God. You don't want to make Him mad.
Mary: That is not how God works, George.
George Sr.: What if He wanted you to have it to give to the Church?
Mary: Well...
George Sr.: Well, uh, based on that, what ifHe wanted you to have it so we could buy stuff?
Mary: George.
George Sr.: All I'm saying is, we work hard, we're good people. Maybe we deserve this.

George Sr.: Hey. Got to go pick up some equipment for the team; you want to join me?
George Jr.: Can't. I'm grounded.
George Sr.: Yeah, well I won't tell if you won't.
George Jr.: Sheldon going?
George Sr.: That little snitch? Absolutely not.
George Jr.: Sheldon still gonna help you with the math?
George Sr.: I don't think so. But I did hear his little Asian friend can do it.

George Sr.: What?
Missy: Nothing. ... I love you.
George Sr.: Okay.
Sheldon: In case it's not apparent, she was speaking for both of us.
George Sr.: Okay.

Sheldon: Hey, he was about to power a clock with a potato.
George Sr.: Not possible.

George Sr.: You understand any of that?
Mary: I don't know, I guess he's just being a little boy.
George Sr.: Since when?

Mary: Look at him. Breaks my heart.
George Sr.: Poor little guy, all alone.
Mary: I don't see why - his brother can't sit with him.
George Sr.: Come on, Mary. When you were in high school, would you have lunch with a nine-year-old?
Mary: Yes, I would've.
George Sr.: Well, there's something wrong with you.

Mary: Why aren't you eating?
Sheldon: I don't think I can.
George Sr.: Sometimes the different foods touch each other, Sheldon. Not the end of the world.

George Sr.: Anyway, that leaves us with the big question: how do we get your mom on board with you going where Sturgis teaches?
Sheldon: Well, how did you get her to agree to marry you?
George Sr.: Oh, that won't work. She doesn't drink anymore.

Mary: He's nine years old and he's in high school, so you can't judge him like other kids.
Dr. Goetsch: I hear ya.
Mary: George, tell him about how he's always going on and on about subatomic particles and such.
George Sr.: Oh, he'll get to gabbin' about it.

Mary: How's it going?
George Sr.: Well, I think I figured out the problem.
Mary: What is it?
George Sr.: I'm a terrible mechanic.

Mary: You're gonna have to introduce us to this girl.
George Jr.: Why?
George Sr.: 'Cause she's having our grandbaby, you dumb son of a bitch.
Mary: George! But what he said.
George Jr.: I'll ask her, but she's not very happy with me right now.
George Sr.: Yeah, I like her already.

Adult Sheldon: My sister's crankiness did not dampen my enthusiasm. A chicken may have fractured my arm, but nothing could break my can-do spirit.
Sheldon: All in the bowl, none on me. I call that a successful urination.
George Sr.: Great. Go teach your brother.