George Sr. Quotes

Quote from the episode A Broom Closet and Satan's Monopoly Board

Mary: It's no joke. He could lose his job.
George Sr.: I guess I just don't get it.
Mary: Maybe because you only go to church when there's a bake sale.
George Sr.: That's not nice.
Mary: It's true.
George Sr.: Doesn't make it nice.

Quote from the episode A Broom Closet and Satan's Monopoly Board

George Sr.: [yelling] Hope you're happy your mother and I are fighting now! [to a girl who wonders why George is yelling at nobody] There's a closet, it- My son made a citadel. Never mind.

Quote from the episode A Broom Closet and Satan's Monopoly Board

George Sr.: Well, Wayne and I were discussing marriage, and he was going on about how happy he is. I just wanted to try to work on ours.
Mary: That's really sweet, George. So they go on dinner dates like this?
George Sr.: Oh, they do all kinds of stuff. Line dancing and movie night. You wouldn't believe what they got up to in their bathroom.
Mary: Where do they find the time?
George Sr.: Well- Well, they don't have any kids, so... Son of a bitch! They don't have kids. That's why they're happy.
Mary: George.
George Sr.: It's true. You and I used to be way more fun.
Mary: That may be so, but you can't blame the children.
George Sr.: Oh, I can, and I am. Don't get me wrong. They're great. I love them. But you got to admit that they do not make our lives easy.

Quote from the episode Body Glitter and a Mall Safety Kit

George Sr.: I can't imagine talking to my dad the way this kid talks to me. I'd have had a belt on my backside so fast...
Coach Wilkins: My dad was a hugger.
George Sr.: I had to tell him three times to mow the lawn, and he still gave me attitude.
Coach Wilkins: He's going to school, holding down a job. If he was my kid, I'd be proud of him.
George Sr.: I am proud of him. When he's not being a total pain in my ass.

Quote from the episode Body Glitter and a Mall Safety Kit

Linda: I mean, I'm thrilled that he's gone, but I do worry about how it's affecting Paige.
Mary: Of course.
Linda: You and George have such a beautiful family. I think it's good for her to be around that right now.
George Sr.: [enters] Oh. Hey. Nice to see you. Sorry about the divorce. I got to go yell at my idiot son. [shouting] Georgie! Where are you?

Quote from the episode A Live Chicken, a Fried Chicken and Holy Matrimony

George Sr.: [plunging] Maybe I'm being punished. Maybe I'm a bad person. That went in my mouth.

Quote from the episode A Live Chicken, a Fried Chicken and Holy Matrimony

George Sr.: You know it takes two people to get pregnant, right?
Meemaw: I know that. Does Georgie?
George Sr.: Probably. We got cable now.

Quote from the episode A Couple Bruised Ribs and a Cereal Box Ghost Detector

George Sr.: Hang in there.
Ms. Hutchins: I'm hangin'.
George Sr.: Hey, this will be quite a story to tell your grandkids, huh?
Ms. Hutchins: I live alone. I'm single. I don't think grandkids are in the picture.
George Sr.: Oh. Well, I... I got a wife, kids. It's... It's overrated.

Quote from the episode A Pineapple and the Bosom of Male Friendship

Mary: Why don't you take John to a bar or something?
George Sr.: Why?
Mary: 'Cause the children don't need to hear about how attractive he finds their grandmother.
George Sr.: Why don't you take him out?
Mary: Fine. You make sure the kids take baths and get to bed. Oh, and Sheldon needs his fingernails trimmed.
[cut to:]
George Sr.: Hey, John, what do you say you and I go grab a beer?

Quote from the episode A Pineapple and the Bosom of Male Friendship

Nate: Hey, George. Who's your friend?
George Sr.: Hey, Nate. This is John Sturgis. He's a scientist.
Dr. John Sturgis: Pleased to make your acquaintance, Nate.
Nate: What can I get you?
Dr. John Sturgis: Um, do you have sarsaparilla?
George Sr.: Two beers. We'll take two beers.

Quote from the episode A Pineapple and the Bosom of Male Friendship

Dr. John Sturgis: Can you believe Connie was my first girlfriend?
George Sr.: Really?
Dr. John Sturgis: And probably my last.
George Sr.: Come on, don't talk like that.
Dr. John Sturgis: No, it's true. She may not realize it, but this is all for the best. I'm damaged goods.
George Sr.: No, you're not.
Dr. John Sturgis: It had just been so long since I'd had an episode. I thought I was okay. [laughs] But, clearly, I'm not, and, uh, who knows if it'll happen again. And, uh, I just can't take the risk of putting Connie through that.
George Sr.: Hey, she's got problems, too. I've seen her take a wine cooler out of the trash and finish it.
Dr. John Sturgis: [laughs]
George Sr.: I'm not joking.

Quote from the episode A Parasol and a Hell of an Arm

Missy: Dad, can I talk to you?
George Sr.: Uh, can it wait a minute?
Missy: It's pretty important.
George Sr.: So's this.

Quote from the episode A Parasol and a Hell of an Arm

Missy: I've been thinking about how much I enjoyed throwing that ball today.
George Sr.: You did great, honey.
Missy: I know. That's why I want to play on a team.
George Sr.: You get that dunk tank isn't a sport?
Missy: I mean baseball.
George Sr.: Okay, sure. They don't have any baseball teams for girls. Wait a few years, you can play softball.
Missy: I don't want to wait. I want to play baseball.
George Sr.: But you'd be the only girl.
Missy: I don't care.
George Sr.: Okay, well I-I guess I can look into it.
Missy: Thanks, Daddy.
George Sr.: Sure you don't want to play soccer or something?
Missy: Nope!
George Sr.: Cheerleading?
Missy: Baseball!
George Sr.: Yeah.

Quote from the episode A Parasol and a Hell of an Arm

George Sr.: [shouting] Missy, five minutes!
Meemaw: Oh. Can you please?
George Sr.: Oh. Sorry. Been there. [shouting] She's hungover! Wants us to keep it down!

Quote from the episode Pongo Pygmaeus and a Culture that Encourages Spitting

George Sr.: You sure you don't want me to stay?
Sheldon: You promised you'd take me to RadioShack.
George Sr.: Sheldon, this is a big day for your sister.
Missy: I'm fine, Dad.
George Sr.: Come on. I really don't want to go to RadioShack.

Quote from the episode Pongo Pygmaeus and a Culture that Encourages Spitting

George Sr.: Morning. Just a reminder, I'm gonna be late tonight. Hanging with my new buddy Dale.
Meemaw: Well, I hope you two have fun together.
George Sr.: Oh, we will. So much to talk about.
Mary: You better respect her privacy.
George Sr.: Oh, I don't plan on doing that at all.
Meemaw: Don't you need to go to work?
George Sr.: Yes, but I don't want to leave until I know you're upset.
Meemaw: Well, I'm sorry, but I'm not.
George Sr.: Yeah, you are. Bye.

Quote from the episode Pongo Pygmaeus and a Culture that Encourages Spitting

Dale: Uh, you want to switch to light beer?
George Sr.: Hey. I may have boobs, but I'm still a man.

Quote from the episode Pongo Pygmaeus and a Culture that Encourages Spitting

George Sr.: Ejected from your very first game. I'm proud of you, slugger.
Missy: Thanks, Dad.
Meemaw: Dairy Queen's on me.
Mary: To be clear, we are not rewarding violence. But I am glad you didn't let those girls from school bully you into quitting.
Missy: I should rub their faces in the dirt.
George Sr.: That's my girl.
Meemaw: Someone's getting extra sprinkles tonight.
George Sr.: Ooh, hooray for violence.

Quote from the episode The Sin of Greed and a Chimichanga from Chi-Chi's

George Sr.: So, what's up?
Dr. John Sturgis: Well, Sheldon has been doing extraordinarily well in his college physics class.
George Sr.: I know. He made me put his test up on the fridge, next to Missy's drawing of her hand as a turkey.

Quote from the episode The Sin of Greed and a Chimichanga from Chi-Chi's

Sheldon: How was Dr. Sturgis?
George Sr.: He's fine.
Sheldon: What did you two talk about?
George Sr.: I don't know. S-Stuff.
Sheldon: Science stuff?
George Sr.: No. Just regular stuff.
Sheldon: Ooh, I bet he talked about me. What did he say about me?
George Sr.: Sheldon, everything isn't about you. Okay? Go to your room.
Sheldon: Yes, sir.
Mary: What'd y'all talk about?
George Sr.: Sheldon.