George: Sheldon, what are you doing here?
Sheldon: They wouldn't let me use the phone in the principal's office.
George: Who are you calling?
Sheldon: Dr. Sturgis. It's a math emergency.
George: Don't you think you should've asked my permission first?
Sheldon: It's ringing. Yes or no?
George: You know what? I don't care.

George: Who you talking to?
Sheldon: A reporter from Time magazine.
George: No! He didn't mean it. God bless America.

George: What do y'all want for lunch?
Sheldon: Peanut butter and jelly, please.
George: Great. Missy?
Missy: Tuna salad on rye toast, with sliced pickles and-
George: Two PBJs, got it.

Sheldon: Hey, Dad. Can you believe I only started playing today?
George: I really can.

George: Uh-huh. Okay. I'll be right there.
Coach Wilkins: What's up?
George: Principal wants to talk to me.
Coach Wilkins: Ooh.
George: Grow up.

Principal Petersen: Gentlemen, good news.
George: I had a feeling.

George: Hey. He okay?
Mary: Yeah, he's fine.
George: How you doing?
Mary: Much better.
George: You know, I just been sitting here thinking how I drove an hour both ways to bring the two of them back. Pretty damn decent of me.
Mary: Come here. [Mary and George start kissing]

George: And then there was some extra money in the budget, so I was able to order those tackling dummies I had my eye on.
Sheldon: I don't understand why the football program gets so much money, while the equipment in the science lab is outdated and falling apart.
George: Oh, I can explain that. This is Texas. Pass the ribs.

Sheldon: Ooh! Maybe I can lodge a formal complaint with the school board about the sports budget infringing on the other departments.
George: Okay, last time: Canada, the other states, us.

Mary: You know that Veronica Duncan girl?
George: The one that Georgie likes?
Mary: Yeah. I was thinking about having her stay here for a couple days.
George: Is it Georgie's birthday or something?
Mary: No!

[As Georgie vacuums his bedroom]
Georgie: What are you doing?
George: Documenting. This may never happen again.

George: So, uh, who do you think the Oilers are gonna take in the draft?
Pastor Jeff: Oh, I don't really follow sports.
George: I'm just gonna eat.

Georgie: Honestly, I do not understand the female mind.
Mary: Do something.
George: Georgie, why don't you go eat dinner in front of the TV?
Pastor Jeff: No, it's all right. Sounds like Georgie's having trouble navigating the perilous waters of a relationship. Believe me, I can understand.
Georgie: You having problems with your hot wife?
George: Maybe I'll go eat by the TV.

Pastor Jeff: Except I'm feeling kicked in the nethers right now, and he sure is taking his sweet time with the healing.
George: He takes his sweet time about a lot of things. Uh, not that I'm complaining. You know, his will, not mine, et cetera.

George: You know, one thing I can say is that having a happy marriage is it's hard work.
Pastor Jeff: Oh, I know. As the pastor, people come to me with relationship problems all the time.
George: Bet you hear some juicy ones, huh?
Pastor Jeff: "Juicy" doesn't begin to describe it.
George: Oh, give me a sample.
Pastor Jeff: I can't. There's strict pastor-flock confidentiality.
George: Sure. Sure.
Pastor Jeff: Mm.
George: Mary doesn't tell you things about us, does she?
Pastor Jeff: I'm not at liberty to say.
George: But she does, doesn't she?
Pastor Jeff: Yeah.
George: Yeah.