Meemaw: So you think he's seeing somebody else?
Georgie: I don't think I should be talking about this. He's my boss.
Meemaw: Well, he's my boyfriend, so spill it.
Georgie: It's weird when old people say "boyfriend".
Meemaw: Fine. My lover.
Georgie: Well, that's worse.

Sheldon: And then after you buy the house, you rent it out to people who are pre-approved by me.
George: I can't afford a second house.
Sheldon: Georgie, you make as much money as Dad. Why don't you buy it?
George: He does not make as much money as me.
Georgie: No. But I don't have to spend mine on stupid stuff like food and kids.
George: Mary, where's dinner?
Sheldon: So, is that a yes to buying the house?
Georgie: Sorry. When I move out, it ain't gonna be 20 feet away, and it's gotta have a hot tub.

Georgie: Can I at least change the music we play here?
Dale: What's wrong with the music we play here?
Georgie: Nothing, it's just kind of grandpa music.
Dale: Well, how is this "grandpa music"?
Georgie: Do you listen to it?
Dale: Yeah.
Georgie: Do you have grandchildren?
Dale: Yeah.
Georgie: Do you see where I'm going with this?

Georgie: There you go. I hope you enjoyed your shopping experience.
Man: I did.
Georgie: I'd let the manager know, But he already does, 'cause it's me.
[later, to a woman holding a tennis racket:]
Woman: I'll take it.
Georgie: It's been a pleasure to serve you.
[later, to an older man lifting weights:]
Georgie: You might want to slow down. We don't have a license to sell guns in here. Just kidding, it's Texas. We got them in the back.

Mary: [eating pop corn] Get him, Dalton. Get him.
Georgie: Mary Cooper, what are you doing?
Mary: Nothing.
Georgie: Why are you watching Road House?
Mary: Why aren't you at work?
Georgie: I asked you first, and my question is way more interesting.
Mary: It was just on. I don't even know what that is.
Georgie: Then how'd you know his name's Dalton?
Mary: I don't have to explain myself to you.
Georgie: This is a pretty dirty movie.
Mary: How do you know? It is rated R.
Georgie: For violence, language and sexual content. You should be ashamed of yourself.

George: Just go get your money back and buy a different car.
Georgie: No.
George: Georgie, I'm not playing around.
Georgie: Neither am I. I bought it with my own money, and you don't get a say.
George: As long as you live under my roof, I get plenty of say.
Georgie: Fine. I'll move out.
George: And where you gonna go?
Georgie: I'll live in the van.
George: [laughs] You know what? It was only a matter of time before you lived in a van. Have at it.
Georgie: Scooby-Doo lived in a van, and he turned out fine.

Georgie: Just out of curiosity, when exactly are you and Mom leaving, and when exactly are y'all coming back?
George: You're not bringing your girlfriend here.
Georgie: Excuse me for taking an interest in your life.
George: Besides, your grandma'll be here the whole time.
Georgie: Never mind. Wait. So her house'll be empty?
George: Look, I used to be your age, but can you try thinking with your brain for once?
Georgie: If you used to be my age, I think you know the answer to that.

Georgie: Ooh. I'm in time for dinner. Good. 'Cause I have worked up an appetite.

Georgie: I'm not here to work. I'm here with the answers to all your problems.
Meemaw: And what is that?
Georgie: How to get your back room up and running again.
Meemaw: I'm listening.
Georgie: I was thinking about Chuck E. Cheese.
Meemaw: Oh, God.
Georgie: Hear me out. Your payouts were in cash. That's illegal. When you play games at Chuck E. Cheese, you win tickets. Those tickets are traded for prizes. That's legal. You just need to do the same thing. People play your machines. Now the credits they win get exchanged for stuffed animals. Then you buy those stuffed animals back for cash. No laws broken, and you're back in business.

George: Where's the coffee?
Georgie: I finished it.
George: When you finish a pot, you're supposed to make more.
Mary: Oh, is that the rule?
George: It is for him. Why are you reading my paper?
Georgie: Well, pardon me for keeping up on events of the day.
George: Tomorrow's headline: Father Strangles Son.
Georgie: Good luck. My horoscope says "things are looking up."

Georgie: Mom make you wear that?
Missy: Yeah.
Georgie: She did the same thing to me with pleated khakis. I looked like Pastor Jeff.
Missy: Well, she doesn't know that I brought a change.
Georgie: Good for you. I tried cutting the khakis into shorts.
Missy: Did it help?
Georgie: No. I looked like Sheldon.
Missy: That's tragic.

Missy: I'm gonna bring a bunch to school.
Georgie: How much you gonna charge for it?
Missy: Nothing. They're my friends.
Georgie: You think Ronald McDonald let his friends eat for free?
Missy: Ronald McDonald isn't real.

Mary: Maybe it would be better if you went to your parents with, um, good news first.
Mandy: And what would that be?
Mary: Well... everybody loves a wedding.
George: Would you stop with that?
Mary: It needs to be discussed.
Mandy: No, it doesn't. I'm having a baby, I don't need to marry another one.
Georgie: I know I'm young now, but think about it... When you're a dried-up old lady, I'll be your hot trophy husband.
Meemaw: Maybe her dad should put you down.

Georgie: Well, I'll leave you with this. There's some ice cream in there. You might want to make that a priority.
Mandy: [scoffs] Okay. Good night.
Georgie: I got you the kind with three different flavors 'cause I didn't know what you liked.
Mandy: Bye.
Georgie: It's chocolate, vanilla and pink.

Mandy: Hey, uh, what's the bathroom situation?
Georgie: Oh, I pay rent. You can use the one in the house.
Mandy: Good, I was afraid you were gonna say that sink.
Georgie: [scoffs] The sink? That's kind of gross.
Mandy: I'll be right back. [exits]
Georgie: Looks like you're just a sink again. [tap drips]