Sheldon: And then after you buy the house, you rent it out to people who are pre-approved by me.
George Sr.: I can't afford a second house.
Sheldon: Georgie, you make as much money as Dad. Why don't you buy it?
George Sr.: He does not make as much money as me.
George Jr.: No. But I don't have to spend mine on stupid stuff like food and kids.
George Sr.: Mary, where's dinner?
Sheldon: So, is that a yes to buying the house?
George Jr.: Sorry. When I move out, it ain't gonna be 20 feet away, and it's gotta have a hot tub.

George Jr.: What are you doing?
George Sr.: Separating the whites from the colors.
George Jr.: Whoa, that's racist.

George Jr.: I think the saddest part about it is just how sad it is.

George Jr.: So, Vietnam, like in Rambo.
Tam: Yes.
George Jr.: That's a cool movie.
Tam: Yes.
George Jr.: Are you in it?
Tam: No.

Meemaw: So what's goin' on?
Missy: I think I have a boyfriend.
Meemaw: Wow.
Missy: But you cannot tell Mom.
Meemaw: Oh, of course... I love not telling your mother stuff.

Meemaw: What's up?
Missy: Can I talk to you about serious woman stuff?
Meemaw: Of course. Is this a... iced tea conversation or a hot tea conversation?
Missy: Definitely hot.
Meemaw: Uh-oh.

Sheldon: There's no telling who could buy that house! What if they have dogs? What if they have birds? What if they have both and the birds learned to bark like dogs?
Mary: Sheldon, you're gettin' yourself all worked up.
Sheldon: For good reason... that house is six feet away from my bedroom window. Who knows what kind of smells could jump the gap? Uh, cigarette smoke, a scented candle, a durian?
Mary: What's a durian?
Sheldon: A vile-smelling fruit of the genus Durio.
Mary: When did you smell that?
Sheldon: I haven't, and I'd like to keep it that way.
Mary: It might be nice. It might be a family with kids your age.
Sheldon: I already live with a kid my age... not a fan!