George Jr. Quotes
Quote from the episode Pasadena
George Jr.: [o.s.] It's actually a shampoo for ladies, but my hair just responds to it.
Quote from the episode An Academic Crime and a More Romantic Taco Bell
Jana: This is nice.
George Jr.: I like to think of Chi-Chi's as a more romantic Taco Bell.
Quote from the episode An Academic Crime and a More Romantic Taco Bell
Jana: So you're saying you have no feelings for her at all?
George Jr.: I wasn't at the restaurant with her, I was there with you.
Jana: That doesn't answer my question!
George Jr.: I was hoping you wouldn't pick up on that.
Jana: Did you take me there on purpose?
George Jr.: Hold on a second. Is this one of those fights where we end up making out in the back seat?
Jana: No.
George Jr.: That's too bad.
Quote from the episode Stuffed Animals and a Sweet Southern Syzygy
George Jr.: Hey, you took a shot. That's impressive.
Meemaw: I guess.
George Jr.: I mean, most folks your age have someone cutting up their food.
Meemaw: That's enough.
George Jr.: Well, I still think you're a badass.
Meemaw: [chuckles] Thank you. We should probably get back out there.
George Jr.: Oh. [chuckles] I ain't working for you. But I'm rooting for you.
Quote from the episode Stuffed Animals and a Sweet Southern Syzygy
Meemaw: Listen, I need you to help me with this. I don't want to run this dump.
George Jr.: Then why'd you buy it?
Meemaw: [exhales] I'm retired. I thought it might be fun, get me out of the house.
George Jr.: And you picked a laundromat?
Meemaw: It seemed like a better opportunity at the moment.
George Jr.: What happened? You get tricked by a con man?
Meemaw: No.
George Jr.: It's all right. Happens to a lot of people your age.
Quote from the episode A Computer, a Plastic Pony, and a Case of Beer
George Jr.: Wait, I know what to do.
George Sr.: What?
George Jr.: Go across the street and apologize to Mom.
George Sr.: I got nothin' to apologize for.
George Jr.: You don't have to mean it. I never do.
George Sr.: Georgie, just mind your business.
George Jr.: Okay, sorry. In case you were wondering, I didn't mean that. See how easy it is?
Quote from the episode Stuffed Animals and a Sweet Southern Syzygy
Meemaw: Oh, now, come on. You're perfect for this.
George Jr.: I'm a salesman. There's nothing there to sell.
Meemaw: You got a bunch of bored people with their pockets full of quarters, you can't sell them something? Then you're not the entrepreneur I thought you were.
George Jr.: That ain't gonna work on me.
Meemaw: And this is why you're management material.
George Jr.: Nice try. [walks away]
Meemaw: The place is wall-to-wall girls.
George Jr.: Why didn't you lead with that?
Quote from the episode Pish Posh and a Secret Back Room
George Jr.: Over here is my bedroom area, for sleeping and whatnot. That's my gym. And last but not least, kitchen and bathroom.
Mary: Georgie, do not use that sink as a bathroom.
George Jr.: Relax. Just number one.
Quote from the episode A Computer, a Plastic Pony, and a Case of Beer
George Jr.: What's for breakfast?
George Sr.: I don't know. Grab a bowl of cereal.
George Jr.: Mom usually makes us eggs and toast and the occasional meat.
George Sr.: Well, Mom isn't here, is she?
George Jr.: Whoa. Somebody woke up on the wrong side of the bed. And you had a choice 'cause you had the whole bed.
Quote from the episode Potential Energy and Hooch on a Park Bench
Meemaw: Okay, here's the deal. You get one night here, then you're out.
George Jr.: You're not being very grandmotherly right now. Where's the milk? Where's the cookies?
Meemaw: Do you believe this kid?
Dale: I could go for a cookie.
Meemaw: No one's gettin' a cookie!
Quote from the episode Graduation
Mary: Bless us, Lord, for the food we are about to receive, and bless the hands that prepared it. And thank you for Georgie getting his job back. Amen.
All: Amen.
George Sr.: That was nice of Dale.
George Jr.: I know. He even forgave me for egging his store.
Missy: You went egging without me?
Mary: Georgie Cooper!
George Jr.: Dale already forgave me, and God has to. You can't get mad.
Missy: Ha. Burn.
Quote from the episode Graduation
George Jr.: Hey, can I ask my girlfriend to the prom on TV? It would blow her mind.
Quote from the episode A Docent, A Little Lady and a Bouncer Named Dalton
George Jr.: I think Dad would love that you're into stuff like this.
Mary: I'm sure he would. He took me to see Mad Max twice.
George Jr.: Really?
Mary: Actually... the second time, we couldn't find a sitter, so we brought you along.
George Jr.: How old was I?
Mary: I don't know... four?
George Jr.: No wonder I'm so cool.
George Jr.: So, why you hiding it?
Mary: Well, 'cause I'm supposed to be a good Christian. Clearly this is something I need to work on.
George Jr.: Well, before you fix it, you've got to watch Die Hard 2. Bruce Willis stabs a guy in the head with an icicle.
Quote from the episode A Brisket, Voodoo, and Cannonball Run
Meemaw: Mean that much to you?
George Sr.: Mary and I were dating about a month when she brought me home for dinner. I took one bite of this brisket, and I knew I loved your daughter.
Mary: Gee, thanks.
George Jr.: Kind of like Sleeping Beauty, except Dad kissed meat.
Quote from the episode Pilot
George Jr.: I can't be in the same school as him!
George Sr.: Well, I don't see what choice you have.
George Jr.: Right. Ever since he could talk, I quit having any choices.
George Sr.: I know it's hard. I'm telling you, as your coach, quit your whining, get your uniform on and you get your ass back out there.
George Jr.: But what about as my dad?
George Sr.: Your dad is having a bad day. Listen to your coach.
Quote from the episode Cowboy Aerobics and 473 Grease-Free Bolts
Missy: You think Judge Wapner and Rusty the bailiff are friends in real life?
George Jr.: Yeah. You can't fake that kind of chemistry.
Quote from the episode Crappy Frozen Ice Cream and an Organ Grinder's Monkey
Mary: How's pizza sound for dinner?
George Jr.: You think I'm eating dinner with my mom on a Saturday night? You're adorable.
Mary: Guess I'm eating alone.
George Jr.: What about Missy?
Mary: She's not talking to me.
George Jr.: She'd talk to you if you just let her go.
Mary: You know I can't do that.
George Jr.: Come on. I went to school dances and I turned out fine.
Mary: I didn't let you go to any dances.
George Jr.: I did all kinds of stuff behind your back.
Mary: Like what?
George Jr.: I'm dumb, but I'm not that dumb.
Mary: So I'm supposed to just let her do whatever she wants? Yeah, I don't think so.
George Jr.: I'm just saying she's a good kid. Be glad she's still asking.
Quote from the episode Crappy Frozen Ice Cream and an Organ Grinder's Monkey
Mary: Did you show your sister Footloose?
George Jr.: Did it work?
Mary: No!
George Jr.: Mm. Then no.
Mary: Oh!
Quote from the episode One Bad Night and Chaos of Selfish Desires
Jana: You sure your boss isn't gonna show up?
George Jr.: Yeah, but not positive. So let's keep this train on the tracks. [pager beeps]
Jana: Aren't you gonna check that?
George Jr.: Nope.
Jana: But what if it's an emergency?
George Jr.: It's not. I'm turning this off. [looks at pager] Dadgummit!
Quote from the episode A Philosophy Class and Worms That Can Chase You
George Jr.: Can I take your truck tomorrow?
George Sr.: Well, I think you're riding with me.
Mary: Sorry, I'm taking Missy to school, and Meemaw's taking Sheldon.
George Jr.: Well, can I at least drive?
George Sr.: Sure.
George Jr.: While you hide in the back under a tarp?
George Sr.: [to Mary] Stop praying for him and focus on the other two.
- View another character
- Sheldon
- Mary
- George Sr.
- George Jr.
- Missy
- Meemaw
- Pastor Jeff
- Adult Sheldon