Mary: Maybe it would be better if you went to your parents with, um, good news first.
Mandy: And what would that be?
Mary: Well... everybody loves a wedding.
George Sr.: Would you stop with that?
Mary: It needs to be discussed.
Mandy: No, it doesn't. I'm having a baby, I don't need to marry another one.
George Jr.: I know I'm young now, but think about it... When you're a dried-up old lady, I'll be your hot trophy husband.
Meemaw: Maybe her dad should put you down.

George Jr.: What are you doing?
George Sr.: Separating the whites from the colors.
George Jr.: Whoa, that's racist.

George Jr.: I think the saddest part about it is just how sad it is.

George Jr.: So, Vietnam, like in Rambo.
Tam: Yes.
George Jr.: That's a cool movie.
Tam: Yes.
George Jr.: Are you in it?
Tam: No.

George Jr.: Okay, in my defense...
Meemaw: You have no defense. You're an idiot.
George Jr.: That was a big part of my defense.

Billy Sparks: You like meatloaf?
Missy: Yeah, is that what we're having?
Billy Sparks: No, just making dinner conversation.

George Sr.: Oh, no.
George Jr.: I messed up.
George Sr.: Oh, no.
George Jr.: What do I do?
George Sr.: Oh, no.
George Jr.: Please, say anything else.
George Sr.: I'm trying! Okay... Are you sure she's pregnant?
George Jr.: Yes, she took a test.
George Sr.: Sometimes those things are wrong.
George Jr.: She took more than one.
George Sr.: Well... Are you sure it's yours? Some gals like to get around.
George Jr.: Dad, she's pregnant, it's mine and she's having it.
George Sr.: Y'all are too young to have a baby!
George Jr.: I am. She's actually 29.
George Sr.: Oh, no.