George: Just go get your money back and buy a different car.
Georgie: No.
George: Georgie, I'm not playing around.
Georgie: Neither am I. I bought it with my own money, and you don't get a say.
George: As long as you live under my roof, I get plenty of say.
Georgie: Fine. I'll move out.
George: And where you gonna go?
Georgie: I'll live in the van.
George: [laughs] You know what? It was only a matter of time before you lived in a van. Have at it.
Georgie: Scooby-Doo lived in a van, and he turned out fine.

Georgie: What are you doing?
George: Separating the whites from the colors.
Georgie: Whoa, that's racist.

Georgie: So, Vietnam, like in Rambo.
Tam: Yes.
Georgie: That's a cool movie.
Tam: Yes.
Georgie: Are you in it?
Tam: No.

Georgie: Maybe you should go across the street and apologize.
George: I can't do that.
Georgie: Why not?
George: 'Cause if I do, it sets a bad precedent.
Georgie: What's Nixon got to do with it?
George: What?
Georgie: You said "bad president," like Nixon. You know, this guy.

Pastor Jeff: Now, for a psalm 100 bookmark, who can name the apostles? [Billy raises his hand] Billy.
Billy Sparks: Sleepy, Grumpy, Doc...
Pastor Jeff: Those are dwarves. Anyone else?

Paige: Look at these suckers trying to compete for a stupid bookmark.
Sheldon: They probably don't even know psalm 100.
Paige: Or what a book is.

Missy: Why don't you believe in God? [Sheldon raises his hand] Sheldon.
Sheldon: Because science explains the universe without the need of inventing a supernatural being.
Missy: But how do you know for sure He doesn't exist?
Sheldon: Ooh. [raises hand]
Missy: Stop that.
Sheldon: The burden of proof isn't on me. If I said there was an invisible monkey in the room with us, you shouldn't believe me just because you can't prove me wrong.