Mary: Let's go.
Sheldon: But I came here with Tam.
Mary: Tam, you coming or not?
Tam: I'm good. [to Glenn, after Mary and Sheldon leave] As you can see, I'm not related to them.

Tam: So you're hoping to create an army of super-intelligent children who will do your bidding?
Sheldon: In a perfect world, yes.
Tam: You should spend more time with my mother. That's her goal, too.

Sheldon: Uh-oh.
Tam: What's the matter?
Sheldon: Something's wrong with my sandwich.
Tam: Did it go bad?
Sheldon: No. It just tastes different.
Tam: If you don't want it, I'll trade you for my dumplings.
Sheldon: I'm already unhappy. Do you really think dumplings will fix the problem?
Tam: It'll fix my problem. I'm sick of dumplings.

Sheldon: Oh, dear.
Tam: What?
Sheldon: Paige was right. "There's ample evidence to indicate that a stunted childhood can cause one to be maladjusted as an adult."
Tam: Then I'm screwed.
Sheldon: What do you mean?
Tam: When I'm not in school, I'm doing homework. When I'm not doing homework, I'm practicing my cello. And when I'm not doing that, I'm working in my parents' store.
Sheldon: That must be why we're friends. We're both stunted.
Tam: Sounds right.

Sheldon: I also tried to get some uranium and build an atomic engine, but that stuff's hard to find.
Tam: Probably for the best.

Sheldon: Mm, no, thank you. I'm not hungry.
Tam: "I'm not hungry." The three words you never hear in Vietnam.

Tam: How's puberty treating you? Because it is knocking me for a loop.

Sheldon: Was Ms. Ingram upset I wasn't in class?
Tam: Actually, she was happy. She even did a little dance.

Sheldon: Have you ever been in detention?
Tam: No. But I do take the school bus. And that is no party. It's like a mental hospital on wheels.
Sheldon: That's a good use of simile.
Tam: Thanks. Well, I'll see you tomorrow. I hope.

Sheldon: You know, one of the books mentioned a Vietnamese martial art.
Tam: Vovinam. I'm a blue belt.
Sheldon: Wow.
Tam: Don't be impressed. It's what you get when your mom buys the uniform.
Sheldon: Do you remember any of it?
Tam: I don't even know where the belt is.

Sheldon: Thank you for letting me sleep in your bed.
Tam: My father taught me that we must always honor our guests and treat them with the utmost courtesy.
Sheldon: The Vietnamese are a very welcoming people.
Tam: Yeah, that hasn't always worked out for us.

Sheldon: What kind of snacks do you think I should serve at my Nobel gathering?
Tam: It's on Swedish radio. How about Swedish meatballs?
Sheldon: But it's at 5:00 a.m.
Tam: Swedish breakfast balls?

Sheldon: And then my mother said I wasn't mature enough for college. Can you believe that?
Tam: Absolutely.
Sheldon: So you're on their side, too?
Tam: I'm Vietnamese. In my culture, until your parents die, you're basically a baby.
Sheldon: Really?
Tam: My grandmother still treats my dad like a child. At dinner, he can't sit until she sits, and he can't speak until he's spoken to.
Sheldon: Well, I'm glad I'm not Vietnamese.
Tam: It's not as fun as I make it look.

Sheldon: Where are my safety goggles?
Tam: I don't have no orange today.
Sheldon: No, I have a lab later.
Tam: Just use the room goggles like everyone else.
Sheldon: And risk eyebrow lice? They don't just like head hair, Tam. They must be in my locker. [walks off] Don't eat my fluffernutter!
Tam: I won't. [eats fluffernutter] Mmm. [imitates Sheldon] "Don't eat my fluffernutter."

Sheldon: Would you like to join me in my shenanigans?
Tam: No, thanks.
Sheldon: Aren't you concerned about being a maladjusted adult?
Tam: Nah. I'll just marry an American woman and hope she can fix me.