Sheldon: Have you ever been in detention?
Tam: No. But I do take the school bus. And that is no party. It's like a mental hospital on wheels.
Sheldon: That's a good use of simile.
Tam: Thanks. Well, I'll see you tomorrow. I hope.

Mary: You smoke marijuana?
Sheldon: Mom!
Libby: No, ma'am.
Tam: Just say no. [Mary shoots him an unimpressed look]

Tam: Spending the Thanksgiving weekend working in my family's convenience store, I observed my father and mother working from 6:00 in the morning till 10:00 at night. My hypothesis was that economic advancement for immigrant families is more important than celebrating a holiday where people eat until they pass out in front of the TV.
Mr. Givens: All right, Tam. Well, based on your observations and hypothesis, were you able to make a prediction?
Tam: Yes. At some point, my father would die prematurely from stress. And my mother will come live with me, where she will constantly disapprove of my hot, blonde, American wife.
Mr. Givens: Okay. Uh, I think we all learned something there. Uh, thank you, Tam.

Tam: Hey, I've been looking all over for you. Do you know how popular we are?
Sheldon: We?
Tam: Yeah. I put the word out I was helping you with the football stats. And since I'm Asian, they bought it.

Meemaw: Mind if I take a crack at catching the Road Runner?
Mary: What are you gonna do that I couldn't do?
Meemaw: Oh, a little trick I learned trying to get prairie dogs out of the hole. Of course we'd whack off their heads with a golf club. I'm not gonna do that to Sheldon.

Georgie: I think the saddest part about it is just how sad it is.

Meemaw: Oh, Lord, I think I'm gonna wet myself.