Sheldon: You know, one of the books mentioned a Vietnamese martial art.
Tam: Vovinam. I'm a blue belt.
Sheldon: Wow.
Tam: Don't be impressed. It's what you get when your mom buys the uniform.
Sheldon: Do you remember any of it?
Tam: I don't even know where the belt is.

Mary: You smoke marijuana?
Sheldon: Mom!
Libby: No, ma'am.
Tam: Just say no. [Mary shoots him an unimpressed look]

Tam: Look at this, my mother left me a note. "You can do better. Mom." Not "Love, Mom," not "XO, Mom," just "Mom."

Tam: Hey, I've been looking all over for you. Do you know how popular we are?
Sheldon: We?
Tam: Yeah. I put the word out I was helping you with the football stats. And since I'm Asian, they bought it.

Meemaw: I bowled a new high score last night.
George Sr.: Nice.
Meemaw: I got two turkeys.
Missy: What's a turkey?
Meemaw: It's three strikes in a row.
Missy: Why do they call it a turkey?
Meemaw: Well, when they first invented bowling, they used to just throw frozen turkeys at the pins. Eventually, they switched to balls to cut down on the smell.
George Sr.: Why you lying to her?
Meemaw: I find it keeps my mind sharp.

George Sr.: The little Sparks girl?
Mary: You're kidding. She seems so sweet.
George Jr.: He says she slaps him around, takes his lunch money. She even put a tadpole down his shirt.
Meemaw: Poor kid. He tucks in those shirts.

Adult Sheldon: The perilous journey from the bus stop to my front door was 97.5 meters. FYI, insisting on using the metric system in East Texas is another reason I was hunted by predators.