Tam: Are the goggles necessary?
Sheldon: No, but they really set the mood.

Ms. Fenley: But I have to warn you, it can be a frustrating instrument to learn.
Sheldon: Can you play it?
Ms. Fenley: Yes.
Sheldon: I'll be fine.

Sheldon: [knocking] Dad? [knocking] SHELDON: Mom?
Mary: Yeah, Shelly?
Sheldon: I just thought you should know I'm not going to be Jewish. I'm going to remain the atheist Baptist you've come to love.
Mary: Good to hear.
Sheldon: Are you crying?
Mary: [sighs] Yeah, but don't worry, everything's okay.
Sheldon: Good.

Mary: Shelly, go to your room. The adults need to talk.
Sheldon: Given the events of the day, I would argue I am an adult and should be treated as one. [arriving in his bedroom] I probably could've said that differently.

Sheldon: That's not true.
Missy: You can't even take care of your own boo-boos.
Sheldon: For your information, every college is staffed with a medical professional. My boo-boos will be well-tended to.

Mary: You know, Shelly, it's okay if you're a little nervous. You can tell me.
Sheldon: I'm not nervous.
Mary: All right. When I was your age, a lot of times, I'd have to spend the weekend with my grandparents, and that always frightened me, 'cause they'd leave their teeth all over the place. I never told anybody, but I wish I had.
Sheldon: That does sound upsetting. Good thing I'm braver than you.

Dr. John Sturgis: You're my guest. After you.
Sheldon: This is like being around a campfire, only I'm not miserable.

Sheldon: Hello.
Ms. MacElroy: [screams]
Sheldon: [screams]
Ms. MacElroy: What?
Sheldon: I understand that you're in charge of student elections.
Ms. MacElroy: I am.
Sheldon: I'd like to run for class president.
Ms. MacElroy: Really?
Sheldon: Really.
Ms. MacElroy: Okay. You can sign up, but I have to warn you You'll be running against Nell Cavanaugh.
Sheldon: So?
Ms. MacElroy: She's well-liked by the student body.
Sheldon: So?
Ms. MacElroy: These elections tend to be a bit of a popularity contest.
Sheldon: So?
Ms. MacElroy: You're gonna make me say it, huh?
Sheldon: Say what?
Ms. MacElroy: People don't like you.
Sheldon: Well, as my meemaw likes to say, water off a duck's back. Elections shouldn't be about popularity. They should be about who has the best ideas.
Ms. MacElroy: And what's your idea?
Sheldon: Less money on football, more on science.
Ms. MacElroy: Really.

Sheldon: Greetings, fellow students. I'm running for class president. Here's a button. Have a grown-up put them on you. They're sharp.

Sheldon: This was a great idea. Children like cupcakes, and, by giving them cupcakes, they'll transfer that affinity to me.
Mary: That's another way of looking at it.
Sheldon: By that reasoning, a rich person could simply buy people's votes.
Mary: It's been known to happen.
Sheldon: Until my ship comes in, I guess it's cupcakes.

Sheldon: Nell Cavanaugh, it appears we're taking the mittens off.

Sheldon: Anything you can do to help me win a decisive victory come Election Day would be much appreciated.
Mr. Givens: Oh, well, I'm sorry, Sheldon, the faculty doesn't get involved in student elections.
Sheldon: Oh, I understand. You have to remain neutral. Wink, wink.
Mr. Givens: I'm sorry, wink, wink?
Sheldon: You want new science equipment and I want that for you. One hand washes the other. Wink, wink.
Mr. Givens: Oh, sure, wink, wink.
Sheldon: Now you're getting it. Wink, wink.
Mr. Givens: Wink, wink.
Sheldon: Wink, wink.
Mr. Givens: That kid creeps me out.

Sheldon: Mom?
Mary: Yes, honey?
Sheldon: Do I have to sit downwind of Georgie's cologne?

Sheldon: See? This is the kind of nonsense you have to deal with when you're around kids.
George: He does have a point.

Sheldon: [knock knock knock] Veronica. [knock knock knock] Veronica.
Veronica: Come in. Hey, Sheldon, what's up?
Sheldon: I printed out my bathroom schedule. I can't speak for anyone else in this family, but you can count on it being occupied during these times.
Veronica: Thank you. This is very helpful.
Sheldon: I know.