All: Trick or treat.
Melissa: Oh, look how cute y'all are. Now, I know you are Superman. What about the rest of you?
Missy: I'm Cyndi Lauper.
Tam: I'm a wizard.
Melissa: Uh-huh.
Sheldon: And I'm Carl Sagan.
Melissa: Who?
Sheldon: Carl Sagan. He's the host of Cosmos.

Sheldon: Where are you going? It's closed.
Paige: I can read, baby.
Sheldon: Just so you know, that won't work every time.

Barry: What were you thinking?
Paige: I got bored.
Sheldon: 'Cause you're a baby.

Meemaw: Okay, we need to set a few ground rules.
Sheldon: Rules, love 'em.

Sheldon: I just don't know where I went wrong.
Tam: Are you sure your questioning was skillful?
Sheldon: I thought so, but after two hours of interrogation, all I could extract from my sister's brain was that there was some sort of block with new kids on it.

Sheldon: Hard to port!
Meemaw: Aye aye, Captain Ahab.
Sheldon: Thar she blows! Gallbladder dead ahead!
Mary: Captain Ahab, are you hungry? Do you want a bowl of gruel?
Sheldon: Not now, Mom, I'm in pursuit of my inner demons.
George Sr.: Aye, she's a formidable organ.
George Jr.: Just looks like a whale.
Missy: It's a metaphor, doofus.
All: Arrr!

Sheldon: Where'd he go? Where's Ricky?
Mary: He's in surgery.
Sheldon: Oh.
Mary: But look what I'm doing. I'm packing up so we can go home.
Sheldon: Can we wait until he's done?
Mary: I think it's gonna be a while, honey, but why don't we get a move on and then we can check on him later?
Sheldon: Okay.

Sheldon: And Tommy's actually nicer than you think.
George Jr.: I told you to stay out of it.
Sheldon: True, but what you didn't tell me was that you were overly chummy with his girlfriend, which is why he wants to kick your bottom.

Sheldon: Georgie, be a lamb and get me a Yoo-hoo.
George Jr.: Get your own.
Sheldon: Hmm. Are you sure you want to speak to me in that tone of voice?
George Jr.: Sheldon, I'm getting real tired of this.
Sheldon: That's too bad. I'm enjoying it quite a bit. Still waiting on that Yoo-hoo.
George Jr.: You think you're so tough now, I swear, one day I'm-
George Sr.: Hey. What's going on?
George Jr.: Sheldon's being a jerk.
George Sr.: That true?
Sheldon: All I did was ask for a Yoo-hoo.
George Jr.: He's leaving out the part where he-
Sheldon: [CLEARS THROAT]
George Jr.: Forget it.
George Sr.: Great. Done.
Sheldon: Georgie, at the risk of repeating myself... And one from the back, so it's cold.

Sheldon: Excuse me. I'd like to ask you some questions about your use of intimidation to dominate others.
Jason: Are you trying to get your ass kicked?
Sheldon: No, I was just looking to open a spirited dialogue. And you might want to unhand me.
I'm friends with Tommy Clarkson.
Jason: Is that so?
Sheldon: Yes.

Sheldon: Hello, Tommy. I have some unfortunate news.
Tommy: What's that?
Sheldon: I boasted to Jason Davies that you're my friend, and things took an unexpected turn.
You're scheduled to fight him at 3:00 p.m. on the basketball court.
Tommy: I don't want to fight Jason Davies.
Sheldon: I don't think you have a choice. He was pretty adamant.
Tommy: Fine, I'll deal with it.
Sheldon: You do have the option of simply not showing up.
Tommy: That's not how fights work, Sheldon.
Sheldon: Why? Do they take attendance?

Sheldon: Stop! You're not fighting Tommy, you're fighting me.
Tommy: Oh, boy.
Sheldon: Unless you want to shake hands and we all laugh about this over a glass of milk.
Jason: I think I'd rather kick both your asses.
Sheldon: I was afraid you'd say that. Are you familiar with the story of David and Goliath from the Bible?
Jason: Yeah.
Sheldon: That's too bad. I had a nice speech prepared. I'll say it anyway. You may have the size advantage, but like David and his sling, I also possess an air-based weapon. So I'll give you one more chance. Are you willing to step down?
Jason: I'll tell you what: you take the first shot, then it's my turn.
Sheldon: Very well. Three, two, one.
Jason: Ow! Son of a bitch!
Sheldon: I'm going to run.

Sheldon: Maxwell's equation my sweet patootie!

Ms. Hutchins: Oh, hey, 95. Good job.
Sheldon: Really? I'm here every day and it's like you don't know me at all.
Ms. Hutchins: Oh, okay. Um, aw, 95, too bad.
Sheldon: There we go.

Sheldon: To answer your question, Georgie, it's when a scientist is too immature to admit when he's wrong.

Sheldon: When is my first lesson?
Ms. Fenley: I'm pretty busy right now. But I can give you this in the meantime.
Sheldon: "Anyone Can Play Violin." They don't set the bar very high.

Receptionist: Temple Judea, how can I help you?
Sheldon: Hello, I'd like to become Jewish. Who would be in charge of that?
Receptionist: How old are you?
Sheldon: I'm ten.
Receptionist: Please hold. ["HAVA NAGILA" HOLD MUSIC PLAYS]

Mary: I'm just saying, it can be tough sleeping in a new place without your mom.
Sheldon: Dr. Sturgis will be there. He's like a mom. But he's really smart.

Sheldon: Watching Cosmos while we're eating dinner? Am I awake? Because this feels like a dream.

Dr. John Sturgis: After dinner, want to toast marshmallows on a Bunsen burner?
Sheldon: Good gosh, yes.