Paige: That's when the bloodthirsty Goatman - part goat, part man - crept up on the sleeping children.
Missy: No.
Paige: And sank his sharp little teeth into their necks,
Missy: No.
Paige: And drank their blood!
Sheldon: No.
Paige: Problem?
Sheldon: Several. First of all, goats are herbivores. They don't eat meat, let alone drink blood.
Missy: Maybe the half man part drinks blood.
Sheldon: Don't even get me started on the "half man" stuff.

Adult Sheldon: Clearly, I needed a more sophisticated technique to motivate my simian sister.
Sheldon: Are you sure? If you learn a little algebra, I'll give you a banana.

Sheldon: I'm recording my findings so that future generations of mankind can understand the steps I took to create homo novus, "new man." Of course, there's a strong likelihood that my homo novi might've wiped out all future generations, so I have no idea who's watching this.

Sheldon: Ooh, that's bright.
Nora: Proving you don't have hysterical blindness.
Sheldon: Well, can you test for just hysterical?

Sheldon: My tummy really hurts, Mom.
Mary: You do feel a bit warm. Okay, you finish up in here, get in bed, and I'll bring you some ginger ale.
Sheldon: Canada Dry?
Mary: Yes.
Sheldon: Room temperature?
Mary: Yes.
Sheldon: Mostly flat?
Mary: I'll stir the fizz out with a spoon.
Sheldon: Thanks, Mom.

Nurse Robinson: Well, I don't know what I can do for you.
Sheldon: Do you know the "Soft Kitty" song?
Nurse Robinson: No.
Sheldon: I'll teach it to you. Get a notepad.

Ricky: How did you know something was wrong with your gallbladder?
Sheldon: It started as a minor tummyache, then escalated to a major tummyache. Luckily, I handle pain well.

Sheldon: Time's up. What did you miss about me?

Tommy: So Georgie's your brother?
Sheldon: Correct.
Tommy: And you're trying to protect him?
Sheldon: Incorrect. I'm just curious what he did to incur your wrath. Also, kudos on the hand washing.

Tommy: Your brother's a punk.
Sheldon: I'm not familiar with that terminology.
Tommy: He tried to hit on my girlfriend.
Sheldon: Interesting. So he openly pursued your mate, and to re-assert dominance, you threatened him with physical violence.
Tommy: Hell yeah, I did.
Sheldon: I understand that. I often intimidate people with my intelligence. [A kid walks into the bathroom and backs away] Well, one of us scared him.

Georgie: Hey, Tommy. How you doing?
Tommy: You got a problem with him, you got a problem with me.
Sheldon: And just to make his logic clear, you do have a problem with me.

Sheldon: What are you watching?
Georgie: Go away.
Sheldon: Are you angry with me?
Georgie: I don't want to see your face right now.
Sheldon: Very well, but I'd like to watch Professor Proton.
Georgie: Did you hear me? Go away.
Sheldon: Well, did you hear me? I'd like to watch Professor Proton.
Georgie: Too bad.
Sheldon: Interesting. I wonder how my new friend Tommy Clarkson would feel about this.
Georgie: Well, he's not here, is he?
Sheldon: No, he's not. I guess I'll just have to call him.
Georgie: You're kidding.
Sheldon: Are you going to put on Professor Proton?
Georgie: No.
Sheldon: Hmm. [starts dialing]
Georgie: Okay, okay.
Sheldon: Thank you. I didn't hear a "you're welcome."
Georgie: Shut up!
Sheldon: We'll work on that.

Meemaw: Hey, moonpie. Ready to go?
Sheldon: Look at this.
Meemaw: 95? That's terrific.
Sheldon: No. If it was terrific, it would say 100 with the word "terrific" next to it.
Meemaw: Don't sweat it, you'll get 100 next time.
Sheldon: But I should have gotten it this time. Dr. Sturgis made a mistake.
Meemaw: And we're sweatin' it.

Dr. John Sturgis: Go ahead, Sheldon, I'm all ears.
Sheldon: Well, when I'm done, you're going to be all tears.
Meemaw: Okay, fellas, let's keep it civil.

Dr. John Sturgis: May I come in?
Sheldon: I guess.
Dr. John Sturgis: I looked over your work again and, uh, the math was correct.
Sheldon: Really?
Dr. John Sturgis: You were right and I was, uh, wrong. Sorry I doubted you.
Sheldon: Wow. It must be really hard for you to admit that.
Dr. John Sturgis: Well, yes. But, uh, I thought it could be a learning opportunity for you.
Sheldon: What do you mean?
Dr. John Sturgis: I wanted to show you that being wrong is not the end of the world.
Sheldon: Oh, okay. Thank you.