Sheldon: Why would New Mutants be next to New Teen Titans?
Missy: Because they both start with "New"?
Sheldon: But one's Marvel and the other's DC. Would you put Aquaman and Sub-Mariner next to each other?
Missy: I don't know, they could talk about fish.

George Sr.: So, we were talking to the lawyer...
Missy: Here comes the divorce.
Mary: We are not getting divorced.
Missy: Then why do we have a lawyer?
George Sr.: Sheldon invented something that the university's interested in and it could be worth some money.
Missy: You always were my favorite brother.
Sheldon: This morning you licked your finger and put it in my ear.
Missy: That means I like you.

Sheldon: What do you mean, you sold it?
Missy: Somebody gave me money, and I gave them the comic book. That's kind of how things work here.

Mary: Shelly, this is for your future. We're just trying to make sure that you're taken care of.
Sheldon: I don't care about money.
Mary: Well, someday you might when you have your own wife and kids.
Sheldon: I don't see that happening.
Missy: No one sees that happening. And I say that with love.

Missy: What's your homework?
Sheldon: Non-Euclidean geometry. How about you?
Missy: "Symonyms".
Sheldon: You mean synonyms?
Missy: I'm pretty sure she said "symonyms".

Mary: So, kids, we have a little family business to discuss.
Missy: You're pregnant?
Mary: No.
Missy: We're getting a puppy?
George Sr.: No.
Missy: I'm not sure I care.

George Sr.: Son of a-
Missy: Dad, you busy?
George Sr.: Do I look like I'm busy?
Missy: I can't see what you look like. You're under the sink.

Mary: Lunch is ready. Can you go get your brother?
Missy: I'm watching TV.
Mary: Just go.
Missy: [sighs] I have to do smurfing everything around here.
Mary: I heard that.
Missy: I said "smurfing".
Mary: And I heard how you said it.

Missy: And in math class, I sit right between Heather M. and Heather B.
Mary: It's nice you're with your friends.
Missy: It's more than nice. All notes go through me. That's power.

George Sr.: You ever thrown a ball before?
Missy: Just rocks at Sheldon.
George Sr.: Did you hit him?
Missy: Every time.

Dr. John Sturgis: Mary, I just can't thank you enough for inviting me today.
Mary: You're very welcome, John. Love having you here.
Dr. John Sturgis: Last Thanksgiving, I just sat in my apartment all by myself and ate a turkey sandwich.
Meemaw: That is so sad.
Dr. John Sturgis: Well, it wasn't at the time, but now that I have something to compare it to, I realize what a pathetic loser I was.
Meemaw: You were never a loser.
Missy: Yeah, you were.

Sheldon: Is Mom okay?
George Sr.: How the heck should I know?
Missy: She left. You can say "hell."

Missy: Please, can we keep her?
Mary: No, we cannot keep her.
Missy: We don't have a dog 'cause of Sheldon, why can't I have Veronica?
Mary: I'm not participating in this conversation.
Missy: We could give Sheldon to Veronica's mom. Like a trade.

Missy: There's a list of sentences, and you're supposed to say if each one's a complete sentence or not.
George Jr.: The first one is, "Most people in the country" That doesn't sound like a sentence.
Missy: But ask me who drives pickup trucks.
George Jr.: Who drives pickup trucks?
Missy: Most people in the country.
George Jr.: Well, now it does sound like one.

Missy: I was wearing the new skirt, and I felt really good.
[flashback:]
Heather B.: Cute skirt.
Missy: Thanks.
Heather M.: Your legs are so hairy.
Heather B.: Ew.
Heather M.: Gross.
[present:]
Meemaw: Those bitches.
Missy: [sobbing] Thank you.

Missy: My head is so hot!
Meemaw: She is such a hoot.

Mary: Okay, yes, your... [George sighs] Your brother's gonna have a baby.
Sheldon: With whom?
Mary: Her name is Mandy.
Missy: Ooh, she's the one that's older than him.
Sheldon: How much older?
Mary: That's not important.
Missy: That means a lot.
Sheldon: Thank you.

Sheldon: Well, I may never get another chance to see him in person.
Missy: Suck it up. You always get everything you want.
Sheldon: That's not true.
Missy: You got a computer. I'm reading a booger book.

Missy: Why can't we watch Duck Tales?
Sheldon: Because we don't learn anything.
Missy: It's TV! We aren't supposed to learn.

Sheldon: Good luck with your finger painting.
Missy: You're gonna get your ass kicked in high school.
Mary: (flicks Missy on the head) Hey!