George Sr.: That wasn't the recipe. You looked me in the eye, and you lied to me.
Mary: Oh, Mom.
Meemaw: You broke into my home and tried to steal it.
Mary: Oh, George.
George Sr.: You told her we went over there?
Mary: [GASPS] Oh, George Jr.
George Jr.: I didn't say nothing. I was cool.
Missy: I am loving this.

Sheldon: Mother-in-laws are always held in low regard by the father. It rarely leads to a breakup of the family.
Missy: He's right. Fred and Wilma are still happily married.

Sheldon: Put that down. That's not a toy.
Missy: Sure it is. Choo choo.

Sheldon: I can write it down for you.
George Sr.: That's okay, I don't want it.
Missy: You have got to be kidding me.

Missy: Seriously, I'm melting.

George Sr.: Georgie, how'd you do on that math test today?
George Jr.: It was tough. I don't know.
Sheldon: I'm sorry I wasn't more help.
George Jr.: Me, too.
Mary: That's all right, baby, you tried.
Missy: Yeah. It's okay, baby.

Mary: "Nice people."
George Sr.: Then why did we leave him there?!
Mary: Because we love him and we want the best for him.
Missy: This is tense.

Mary: Shelly, why aren't you asleep?
Sheldon: I'm studying for Sunday school.
Mary: You're reading the Bible? That's wonderful.
Sheldon: I do have a question.
Mary: Sure, what?
Sheldon: Is there anyone in our town from the Amalek tribe?
Mary: I don't know, why?
Sheldon: If there is, we're supposed to kill them and their cows.
Mary: Well, no. There's no Amaleks.
Missy: Told you.

Pastor Jeff: Now, uh, last week, we started talking about the Gospel of John. Does anybody have a notion as to what God's getting at in that passage? Yes, Sheldon?
Sheldon: Chapter one, verse one states, "In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God and the Word was God." Well done.
Sheldon: Thank you. I read the gospels last night.
Missy: Suck up.

Missy: Cave Mom. I'm gonna call you that.

Mary: Missy! Turn off the computer. Time to go to bed.
Missy: I got to finish my homework! [playing Wheel of Fortune on the computer] Big money, big money. Yes!

Missy: [after drawing on Sheldon's face mask] So pretty.

George Sr.: Where you going?
Mary: I'm gonna give Sheldon a list of chores.
George Sr.: You're actually taking my advice?
Mary: Yes.
George Sr.: Well, how about that?
Mary: Hey, you were due.
Missy: Proud of you, George.

Meemaw: I can't believe you sent him to bed without his dinner.
Mary: That's right.
Missy: On spaghetti and hot dog night. That's rough.

George Sr.: You go with him.
Missy: But my cereal's gonna get soggy.
George Sr.: Go.
Missy: [sighs] I'd like one nice morning.

Meemaw: Maybe I should go keep an eye on him.
Mary: No. Let him handle this on his own.
Missy: I wouldn't mind watching.

Mary: So, how was everyone's day?
Missy: I cut open a frog at school.
Mary: For science class?
Missy: Sure.
George Sr.: We should put a lock on the knife drawer.

George Jr.: What kind of homework is it?
Missy: Grammar.
George Jr.: I ain't great with grammar.
Missy: Well, grammar's just talking, and we both talk good.

George Jr.: Okay, this says "a complete sentence always contains a verb."
Missy: Which one's a verb?
George Jr.: "A verb is a word that describes an action." I play checkers. You eat spaghetti.
Missy: We suck at homework. The action is sucking.

Missy: Did you cry when you saw it?
George Jr.: No.
Missy: Why not?
George Jr.: 'Cause it ain't that big a deal.
Missy: Okay. Did you hang it on your wall?
George Jr.: Get out of here!
Missy: I'm telling people you cried.