Missy: Wait, she has tweezers in her makeup bag. She plucks her eyebrows with them. And sometimes her mustache.

Mary: Where'd you get this?
Missy: Heather. I traded a Fruit Roll-Up for it.
Mary: Well, this is going in the garbage.
Missy: You sure? It's got some great tips on how to spice up your marriage.
Mary: My marriage is fine, thank you.

George Sr.: What's your hurry?
Sheldon: I need to get back to my viewing post.
Mary: Fine, go ahead.
George Jr.: What's he expect to see, staring at Meemaw's house?
Missy: Did you just join this family? The kid's an oddball.

Missy: What are you doing?
Sheldon: I'm going to take apart the refrigerator and figure out what's making that noise.
Missy: That is a really good idea.
Sheldon: Usually you're not supportive of my efforts.
Missy: I'm more mature now.

Paige: Sheldon, do you want to have your fortune read?
Sheldon: Absolutely not. And I cannot believe a person as smart as you is doing it.
Paige: Why? It's fun.
Missy: He doesn't know how to have fun; he's an old man.
Sheldon: I'm not an old man.
Missy: Oh, yeah? What's your favorite color?
Sheldon: Khaki.
Missy: Old man.

Sheldon: I'm gonna go eat my breakfast with her.
Mary: Sheldon, just let her rest.
Sheldon: It's okay. She enjoys my company. Also, she understands what I'm going through with Dr. Sturgis.
Mary: Excuse me. I am just trying to help you grow up to be a functional adult.
Sheldon: Me? This one's looking for cereal ghosts.
Missy: Looking for and found 'em.

Meemaw: So if you want to be his girlfriend and he wants to be your boyfriend, what's the problem?
Missy: He also plays baseball, and this weekend... I have to pitch against him.
Meemaw: Yeah, so?
Missy: So if I strike him out, he might get mad and break up with me.
Meemaw: Well, why would he do that?
Missy: I've struck out a bunch of boys. They all get real mad.
Meemaw: You're gonna pitch bad to him on purpose?
Missy: I was thinkin' about it.
Meemaw: That is not what you are gonna do. You are gonna do your best, and if you strike him out, he will respect you for it.
Missy: I don't know. When I struck out Brian Morgan, he cried. Now everyone calls him Cryin' Brian.
Meemaw: [chuckles] That's pretty funny.
Missy: Thanks, I started it.

Sheldon: Missy?
Missy: 'Sup?
Sheldon: Can I borrow one of your Sassy magazines?
Missy: I knew it. Okay, look, I'm cool with this, but do not tell Dad.
Sheldon: Tell him what?

Missy: Just wanted to say I'm really sorry.
George Jr.: Forget it.
Missy: You have so much to deal with right now, and I made it worse.
George Jr.: People are gonna find out eventually.
Missy: Do you think you're gonna get married?
George Jr.: It ain't looking good.
Missy: Do you even want to?
George Jr.: Well, I do like her. And I'm trying to do the right thing. Whatever that is.
Missy: Can't believe you're gonna be a dad.
George Jr.: Join the club.
Missy: Is it weird?
George Jr.: M-More terrifying than weird.
Missy: Yeah?
George Jr.: I don't know what I'm doing. What if I mess this kid up?
Missy: You won't.
George Jr.: You sure? I'm a high school dropout living out in his parents' garage. [voice breaking] Mandy's right to not want me around.
Missy: [crying] No, she's not. She'd be lucky to have you. So will the baby.
George Jr.: Don't make me cry more.
Missy: Sorry. That's the last nice thing I'll ever say to you.

George Sr.: Where exactly you getting all this info?
Missy: There's a lot of kid sisters out there. We talk.

[As George, Sheldon and Missy look up at the roof]
George Sr.: Georgie, get out here! Got a chore for you!
Missy: Good call. You have no business up there.

[As Missy finds Dr. Sturgis at the dinner table]
Missy: Really? This again?
Mary: Just sit.

Missy: So, when your bones broke, did you hear a crunch?
Ms. Hutchins: No.
Missy: Did my dad have to give you mouth-to-mouth?
Ms. Hutchins: No.
Missy: I don't know how my mom kisses him.

Sheldon: [muffled] Where am I?
Missy: Oh, you died. You're a ghost now.
Sheldon: What?

Missy: That's the Fresh Prince. He's from West Philadelphia. Born and raised.

George Sr.: Missy, go somewhere else. I need to talk to your brother.
Missy: Why don't you go somewhere else and I can watch Duck-
George Sr.: Go!
Missy: I hate everybody.

Missy: Nice going. You're making Mom a nervous wreck.
Sheldon: What did I do?
Missy: You don't have any friends, and she is beside herself.
Sheldon: But I'm fine without friends.
Missy: I don't know what to tell you, Sheldon. She said it's your fault. I'm going to watch ALF.

Missy: Just admit it, we're lost.
George Jr.: We're not lost.
Missy: Well, I sure don't see a hospital anywhere.

Adult Sheldon: To further complicate matters, in any real-life crisis, my family's default mode is mindless panic.
Missy: Sheldon's gonna die! Sheldon's gonna die!

Meemaw: Is this about the recipe?
Missy: I bet he's mad 'cause you always side with Meemaw.
Mary: And how would you know that?
Missy: Georgie told me.