Mary: What are you thinking? You know gambling is illegal.
Meemaw: Why do you care how people spend their money?
Mary: Gambling destroys lives.
Meemaw: That's what you say about booze. I think it's an excellent pairing. [drinks]

George: [on the phone] Hey, I'm here by myself. Why don't you come by?
Meemaw: I'm good.
George: What, you'd rather sit in the dark than hang out with me?
Meemaw: I got candles. I'm gonna get some takeout. I'm good.
George: Ooh. Well, I could come over. We could...
Meemaw: No. Bye. [hangs up]

Meemaw: [to Mary] Sorry. No. [to Sheldon] And what do you want?
Sheldon: For you to go on a bus with me to a comic book convention in Texarkana.
Meemaw: [laughing] God, no.

Mary: [scoffs] Oh, look at these prices. I could make this dress for Missy.
Missy: [o.s.] Meemaw, make her stop.
Meemaw: Come on, Mary. You already got one kid that gets picked on.

Meemaw: I'll get it for her. I don't mind wasting my money.
Missy: [o.s.] Please?
Mary: Fine. But you are not wearing it to school, and you are not wearing it without tights.
Missy: [o.s.] Love you.
Meemaw: Hey, I'm the one paying for it.
Missy: [o.s.] Love you more.
Meemaw: [chuckles] Hear that?

Missy: [sniffles]
Meemaw: What's the matter?
Missy: [voice cracking] Everything.
Meemaw: Did somebody die?
Missy: [shakes head] No.
Meemaw: Then we can fix it. Come on. Come on.

Georgie: Hey, y'all.
Meemaw: Well, speak of the devil.
Georgie: What's going on, ladies?
Meemaw: Just getting to know Mandy here.
Mandy: Yeah, I was telling her about San Antonio.
Georgie: Oh, she's from Texas. She knows all about that stuff. Anyways, I'll let you get back to work.
Meemaw: Well, I'll leave you two kids be. And listen to me, calling you young adults "kids." [chuckles] Like you were still teenagers or something.
Mandy: I wish. [chuckles]

Meemaw: Mandy seems nice.
Georgie: She's all right.
Meemaw: Things getting serious?
Georgie: I don't know. Why?
Meemaw: Just wondering when you were gonna tell her your real age.
Georgie: Age ain't nothing but a number.
Meemaw: Yeah, well, her number's way bigger than your number.
Georgie: You ain't never lied about your age?
Meemaw: I'm a lady. Different rules.
Georgie: It's not a big deal. We're just having fun.
Meemaw: Yeah, well, before you have too much fun, you better tell her.
Georgie: That sounds less fun.
Meemaw: Welcome to being an adult. It sucks.

Meemaw: You're the one who told me to go out and have fun with my money.
Dale: I meant something fun for us.
Meemaw: Why us? It's my money.
Dale: You made that perfectly clear.
Meemaw: It's just a car.
Dale: It's not just a car. I think you got scared.
Meemaw: Scared of what?
Dale: I was talking about our future, and you panicked.
Meemaw: I think I've got a successful business and my own money and you can't handle it.
Dale: Oh, really?
Meemaw: Yeah. Really.
Waitress: What can I get started for you?
Dale: Actually, I think we're leaving.
Meemaw: I'm not going anywhere.
Dale: I'll have the enchiladas.

Mary: [sighs] I appreciate you picking Missy up from school, but she does not need to hear about your love life.
Meemaw: She's got to learn sometime.
Mary: Learn what?
Meemaw: That men suck.
Mary: Not all men... do that.
Meemaw: Suck. Say it.
Mary: No.
Meemaw: I want Missy back.

Mary: You keep saying you're okay. Are you?
Meemaw: I'm better than okay.
Mary: Great. Glad to hear it.
Meemaw: You know what it's like? You see these peanuts? Two of them stuck together in the shell. Trapped. And then, you look here at this one, all on its own. Solo. Happy.
Mary: So, you're a solo peanut?
Meemaw: Mm, damn straight. As a matter of fact... [snaps peanut in half] Enjoy your freedom.
Mary: Well, if you're happy, I'm happy.
Meemaw: I am. Maybe not as happy as this threesome going on here. [holds up peanut]
Mary: Mom.

Meemaw: And by the way, you can tell your friend Dale that I want my stuff back.
George: I'm not getting in the middle of this.
Meemaw: 'Cause I left my purple bra over at his place.
Missy: I want a purple bra.
Mary: Oh, Lord.
Meemaw: And if I'm gonna start dating again, I'm gonna need that.
George: Somebody else needs to talk.
Sheldon: Did you know that Leonard Nimoy takes pictures of...
George: Georgie?

Meemaw: So... your little girlfriend Mandy came by today, and she is pissed.
Georgie: This is what I get for telling her.
Meemaw: No, this is what you get for lying to her.
Georgie: I don't need you yelling at me, too.
Meemaw: Well, she was yelling at me, so now I'm yelling at you.
Georgie: Just because you're having men problems, please don't take it out on me.
Meemaw: ... All I'm saying is you really messed up.
Georgie: I apologized. Why are we still talking about this?
Meemaw: Georgie, just think how you'd feel if someday somebody did that to your sister.

Adult Sheldon: I was envious of my meemaw. That night, she would get to experience one of my favorite stories for the very first time.
Meemaw: [v.o.] "If the stars should appear one night in a thousand years, how would men believe and adore, and preserve for many generations, the remembrance of the city of God?" [outloud] What?!

Sheldon: All right, I would like to call the first meeting of the Isaac Asimov book club to order. I'm assuming everyone's read Nightfall?
[Dr. Linkletter and Dr. Sturgis both hold up their copies of the book]
Meemaw: I read it. [chuckles] I may have dozed off a few times, but I read it.