Mary: Look, we appreciate you going to bat for him, but he's just a wee little thing. We can't ship him off to Dallas.
George: Shouldn't we talk about this first?
Mary: What's there to talk about, George?
George: This could be a great opportunity for Sheldon.
Mary: He's nine years old.
George: Oh, come on, you can't measure him in Earth years.
Mary: You're saying he's an alien?

Mary: All right, let's say grace.
Georgie: [SNIFFLES] Guess I get to hold hands with you now.
George: Guess so. Maybe Sheldon's mittens weren't such a bad idea.

Meemaw: So, Sheldon wants a computer?
Mary: Ever since he could talk. But now more than ever.
George: Well, he should get a job after school. Save up and buy one.
Mary: Get a job? He's nine.
George: I mowed lawns when I was his age. Made pretty good money.
Mary: You want Sheldon to mow lawns? He's so pale, five minutes in the sun, he'd burst into flames.
Georgie: I would pay to see that.
George: Shut up, Georgie.

George: Oh, okay. Just so I'm clear, my money's our money, but your money's your money?
Mary: That's right.

Mary: Well, Sheldon's been spending quite a bit of time with this Libby girl, lately.
George: Yeah, so?
Mary: So isn't he a little young to be hanging with teenagers?
George: Oh, he's only young on the outside. Inside, he's an old man.
Mary: I'm being serious.
George: So am I. And with that bow-tie, he's old on the outside, too.

George: I want to talk to you about this play.
Sheldon: I'm excited about it, too.
George: You know, if you play the part of a girl, people might make fun of you.
Sheldon: Mr. Lundy's trying to push the boundaries of drama in East Texas. One way to do that is cross-gender casting.
George: Let me rephrase that: if you play the part of a girl, people will make fun of you.
Sheldon: In Shakespeare's time, the men played all the female parts. No one made fun of it.
George: If Shakespeare went to public high school, it'd be a different story.

Mary: How'd it go?
George: Uh, good. Yeah. I handled it.
Mary: Oh, thank the Lord.
George: Yeah. Me and the Lord. Team effort.

George: Morning, Herschel.
Herschel Sparks: Hey, George. Uh, you didn't see a dog wandering around here, did you?
George: No. Y'all get a dog?
Herschel Sparks: Uh, sort of. We took him in after my brother-in-law had to go live in a gated community.
George: Oh, that sounds nice, uh, they got a no pets policy?
Herschel Sparks: He's in jail, George.
George: Right, sure.

Meemaw: Maybe you could start out with a small pet, and work your way up. Like a turtle.
Mary: He says they carry salmonella.
Meemaw: A gerbil?
Mary: Apparently, they caused the plague.
Georgie: What about a bird?
George: Oh, I know that one. They'll steal his hair to make a nest.

George: I'm proud of him for trying to overcome that damn dog phobia.
Mary: You should tell him that.
George: Well, if he ever leaves that bathroom, I will.

Meemaw: Can you believe he tried to win me back with a dinette set?
George: I'd give you a dinette set if you'd leave Texas.

George: He's gonna be fine.
Mary: You don't have to tell me that. I know he's gonna be fine.
George: If you believe that, why aren't you in bed right now?
Mary: Because this is the same boy who couldn't find his way out of that sleeping bag.
George: He made his way out. Just took him five or ten minutes.

Meemaw: Why don't you ask your father to take you?
Sheldon: Dad?
George: What?
Sheldon: Can you please take me to Radio Shack?
George: I'm busy. Ask your meemaw.
Sheldon: I did. She said to ask you.
George: Well, ask her again.
Sheldon: Seems counterintuitive, but all right.

Mary: Hold on, hold on. Thank you, God, for this food we are about to receive and for the nourishment of our bodies, and bless the hands that prepared it. Amen.
Missy: We're doing this at breakfast now?
Mary: Yes, I think it's a nice idea.
George: She's eating Count Chocula. Doesn't he play for the other side?
Mary: I'm so glad God blessed you with a sense of humor, George.

Georgie: So when you gonna take me to get my learner's permit?
George: Georgie, you've heard us talking to Sheldon about asking questions at inappropriate times, right?
Georgie: Yeah, so?
George: So, given what's happened this week, do you think it's an appropriate time to be talking about driving?
Georgie: Why? 'Cause that girl died?
George: Yes, that.
Georgie: For your information, I'd be an excellent driver.
George: I wouldn't trust you to push a shopping cart.