George Sr. Quotes
Quote from the episode Mitch's Son and the Unconditional Approval of a Government Agency
George Sr.: Actually... I want you to represent us at the audit.
Sheldon: But I messed everything up.
George Sr.: You did. But I also know if anyone's smart enough to get us out of this, you are.
Sheldon: Why'd you change your mind?
George Sr.: No reason.
Sheldon: What did the accountant say?
George Sr.: Nothing.
Sheldon: They said my returns were perfect, didn't they?
George Sr.: Play with your trains.
Quote from the episode Bible Camp and a Chariot of Love
George Jr.: Now, it needs a little bit of work, but once I'm done, it's gonna be amazing.
George Sr.: No.
George Jr.: What do you mean? It's got low mileage, great stereo. Check this out. [opens side door] Look at all the room.
George Sr.: Hell no.
George Jr.: Why?
George Sr.: This isn't a car. It's a motel room on wheels.
George Jr.: Is that how little you think of me?
George Sr.: [scoffs] Yes. Maybe less.
Quote from the episode Training Wheels and an Unleashed Chicken
Adult Sheldon: My sister's crankiness did not dampen my enthusiasm. A chicken may have fractured my arm, but nothing could break my can-do spirit.
Sheldon: All in the bowl, none on me. I call that a successful urination.
George Sr.: Great. Go teach your brother.
Quote from the episode Mitch's Son and the Unconditional Approval of a Government Agency
Sheldon: I want to go home.
George Sr.: What are you talking about? We're not done yet.
Sheldon: Yes, we are. I made a mistake that's gonna cost us a lot of money that we don't have. I feel so stupid.
George Sr.: Hey. It's okay to feel stupid.
Sheldon: No, it's not.
George Sr.: It just means you're growing. If you don't look back and think you were dumb, then you, then you haven't learned anything.
Sheldon: So what do we do?
George Sr.: We get back in there.
Sheldon: What if we lose?
George Sr.: Doesn't matter... win or lose, we don't give up, all right? Now let's get in there and show 'em what we're made of... what do you say?
Sheldon: I've heard you give that exact same pep talk at football games.
George Sr.: Well, I didn't have a special one prepared.
Sheldon: That's all right. I feel properly pepped.
Quote from the episode Training Wheels and an Unleashed Chicken
Mary: Shelly, you okay?
Sheldon: I fractured my ulna.
George Sr.: He's fine. I told you you didn't need to come down here.
Mary: My baby is in the emergency room.
George Sr.: Yeah, with his father.
Mary: Who let him get hurt.
George Sr.: Me? I wasn't even there. If anything, it was Missy's fault.
Sheldon: And Belinda Sparks.
Mary: Who?
George Sr.: A chicken.
Mary: What does a chicken have to do with this?
Quote from the episode Training Wheels and an Unleashed Chicken
Missy: Dad, Sheldon got hurt.
George Sr.: How?
Missy: A chicken chased him into a mailbox.
George Sr.: Course it did.
Quote from the episode A Slump, a Cross and Roadside Gravel
George Sr.: Did you know Sheldon and Georgie are working on something together?
Mary: That's nice. And guess what Missy asked me if she could wear a cross. She's in her bedroom saying prayers right now.
George Sr.: Hmm. I don't like it.
Mary: What are you talking about? Our kids are behaving.
George Sr.: Exactly. Something bad's gonna happen.
Mary: Why can't you just be thankful?
George Sr.: Because that's when life kicks you right in the plums, Mary.
Quote from the episode Money Laundering and a Cascade of Hormones
Mary: Missy was asking about sex.
George Sr.: What? You don't think that she's...
Mary: No. But she's clearly interested in the topic.
George Sr.: That's it... she's grounded till she's 21.
Mary: George.
George Sr.: Well, maybe it's good this pastor wants to talk about it. I sure as hell don't.
Mary: [scoffs] You're unbelievable.
George Sr.: I had to do it with Georgie, and it was a disaster.
Mary: Well, here is a chance to do it right.
George Sr.: I have two words for you: not it.
Quote from the episode Stuffed Animals and a Sweet Southern Syzygy
Billy Sparks: Well, I'm never asking anybody out again.
George Sr.: You will. At least the worst part's over.
Billy Sparks: Doesn't feel like it.
George Sr.: Hey. You got rejected, but was it the end of the world?
Billy Sparks: No.
George Sr.: And that is extremely valuable information. A lot of guys don't learn that and stop taking chances. And honestly, you dodged a bullet with Missy. The girl is mean.
Billy Sparks: Thanks.
Quote from the episode Stuffed Animals and a Sweet Southern Syzygy
George Sr.: Tough week, huh?
Billy Sparks: Yeah.
George Sr.: Yeah, I been there.
Billy Sparks: You have?
George Sr.: Oh, yeah. Darcy Lockhart, eighth grade. Shut me down on the school bus.
Billy Sparks: That sounds awful.
George Sr.: Couldn't even leave. Just had to sit there. I asked nine stops too early.
Billy Sparks: What did you do?
George Sr.: I felt bad for a while, but then I asked out Maggie Gormly.
Billy Sparks: She said yes?
George Sr.: Absolutely not. And would you believe I did it on the bus a second time? What a dope.
Quote from the episode Stuffed Animals and a Sweet Southern Syzygy
George Sr.: Trips left, man in motion. Here comes a pass. [crowd cheers on TV] See that?
Billy Sparks: Now I know where Sheldon gets his brains from.
George Sr.: Congratulations. You're the only person to ever say that.
Billy Sparks: What's gonna happen next?
George Sr.: You gonna get me a beer.
Billy Sparks: Yes, sir.
Quote from the episode A Live Chicken, a Fried Chicken and Holy Matrimony
George Sr.: And I know your mom would want me to tell you to wait till marriage, but I also know you're probably not going to.
George Jr.: Did you?
George Sr.: The important thing is that when you're with a girl... [Georgie scoffs] You know how when we're running practice drills and we wear protection so both people are safe?
George Jr.: Yeah.
George Sr.: Well, there you go.
George Jr.: What?
George Sr.: Same thing, but with your privates.
George Jr.: Please leave.
George Sr.: Thank you.
Quote from the episode Body Glitter and a Mall Safety Kit
Mary: Apparently she's taking the divorce really hard. I guess she's been having trouble in school.
Meemaw: Aw, poor thing.
Mary: Linda thinks Sheldon might be a good influence, you know, maybe rub off on her a little bit.
George Sr.: What, she wants her kid to be more like Sheldon? I don't know what to say about that.
Quote from the episode Stuffed Animals and a Sweet Southern Syzygy
George Sr.: You don't want to be the rebound guy.
Billy Sparks: What's that?
George Sr.: That's the guy after the guy she really liked and before the next guy she really likes.
Billy Sparks: What?
George Sr.: You and Missy are friends. You go to school together. That could make things complicated if it doesn't go well.
Billy Sparks: I didn't think about that.
George Sr.: If she turns you down, you're gonna have to see her all the time.
Billy Sparks: But if it goes right, I get to see her all the time.
George Sr.: [sighs] I just think you ought to take a minute and figure out if it's really worth it. I-It's like football. You can go for it on fourth down on your own 20-yard line, but if you don't make it, it's game over.
Billy Sparks: You're not just a football coach. You're a coach of life.
Quote from the episode Stuffed Animals and a Sweet Southern Syzygy
George Sr.: [opens door] Hey, Billy. Sheldon's not here.
Billy Sparks: Is Missy?
George Sr.: Nope.
Billy Sparks: Good. I need to talk to you alone. [enters]
George Sr.: [sighs] Balls.
Quote from the episode Pish Posh and a Secret Back Room
Sheldon: Okay, so we've agreed on monthly rent. Should we talk utilities?
George Jr.: Why do I got to pay for that stuff?
George Sr.: 'Cause you use them and they cost money.
Sheldon: There are five of us in the house, so I suggest he pays 20%. Although he does take a long time drying that hair.
George Sr.: 20%'s fine.
George Jr.: Hold on. It takes a whole lot more water to clean you than me.
George Sr.: Hey, watch it. I don't have to let you live here.
George Jr.: Let me? I'm paying for everything. You gonna charge me for food, too?
George Sr.: Mm, it's not the worst idea.
George Jr.: You know what? Maybe I shouldn't be in this house.
George Sr.: You said it, not me.
Quote from the episode Contracts, Rules and a Little Bit of Pig Brains
Mary: Here's some coffee for the road.
George Sr.: Thanks.
Mary: Make sure your dad doesn't drink too many beers.
George Jr.: You're funny.
Mary: And make sure your son doesn't drink any beers.
George Sr.: Got it. I'll finish 'em all. Let's go.
Quote from the episode Potential Energy and Hooch on a Park Bench
George Sr.: Georgie's only got one more year of school, and then he can do whatever he wants.
Dale: I don't want to come between you and your family.
George Sr.: Too late.
Meemaw: Listen, I know you're upset, but the person you ought to be yelling at is Georgie, not us.
George Sr.: I yelled at him... it didn't help!
Meemaw: Is this helping?
George Sr.: A little, yes.
Quote from the episode A Slump, a Cross and Roadside Gravel
Sheldon: Now we have to sift the powder again because the platinum particles are extremely small, sometimes no more than just a few atoms.
George Jr.: If I was as smart as you, I'd play the stock market. Or go on Price Is Right.
Quote from the episode Graduation
Mary: So he's really good to graduate?
Principal Petersen: He sure is. I got to tell ya, usually when kids leave school after two years, it's not for college. It's for prison or pregnancy.
George Sr.: Well, between Georgie and Missy, we may hit the trifecta.
Mary: George!
George Sr.: Well, I'm not rooting for it. It's just a thing that could happen.
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- Sheldon
- Mary
- George Sr.
- George Jr.
- Missy
- Meemaw
- Pastor Jeff
- Adult Sheldon