Dr. Linkletter: We don't need open strings. We just connect them to a D-brane.
Sheldon: But your theories can't recreate the known symmetries of the real world.
Meemaw: Everything okay in here?
Sheldon: More than okay. We're having a spirited debate on superstring theory.
Dr. Linkletter: Very spirited.
Meemaw: Well, you ready to go home?
Sheldon: Yes. Unless Dr. Linkletter-
Dr. Linkletter: He's ready.
Meemaw: Well, I guess we'll see you next week.
Dr. Linkletter: Sounds good. No wonder Sturgis went crazy.

Dr. Linkletter: Hello?
Meemaw: Hi, Dr. Linkletter. It's Connie Tucker.
Dr. Linkletter: Connie. To what do I owe the pleasure?
Meemaw: I need a favor.
Dr. Linkletter: Of course. Anything. Should we discuss it over dinner?
Meemaw: I'll take a rain check on that. I was hoping that my grandson could join in your physics class until John is, uh back.
Dr. Linkletter: From the mental hospital?
Meemaw: Yes.
Dr. Linkletter: The one he never told you he'd been in before?
Meemaw: Yes.
Dr. Linkletter: A curious ethical choice on his part, if you ask me.
Meemaw: Can he take the class or not?
Dr. Linkletter: Of course. Although, I never taught a child before. Is he potty-trained?

Dr. John Sturgis: Well, who's it gonna be?
[cut to:]
Dr. Lee: Gentlemen, I'm Dr. Carol Lee, director of the new experimental cosmology center.
Sheldon: What makes you qualified to lead our project?
Dr. John Sturgis: Yeah.
Dr. Linkletter: Yeah.
Dr. Lee: Well, I have a PhD in physics from Berkeley, I worked at IBM's Watson Research Center as lead of the materials research group, and I raised three little boys, which I understand you've been acting like.
Dr. Linkletter: Sounds like she can handle it.

Sheldon: When should we publish?
Dr. Linkletter: Not yet. There's only a three-sigma significance. It needs to be higher.
Dr. John Sturgis: That'd require a much more robust signal.
Dr. Linkletter: And you know what that means.
Dr. John Sturgis: Road trip to the super telescope?
Dr. John Sturgis: Road trip to the super telescope, baby.
Sheldon: When are we leaving?
Dr. Linkletter: Oh, right. You.

Dr. Linkletter: This isn't exactly the firehouse I was expecting.
Sheldon: Are minors allowed in here?
Dr. Linkletter: No one should be allowed in here.
Dr. John Sturgis: I'm sure they have a phone we can use. Excuse me, barkeep? Could we get some help over here?
Dr. Linkletter: And don't say "barkeep."

Dr. Linkletter: Professor Ericson, I insist that you speak to this young man and explain to him that reality is real, and it's possible to know things as fact.
Professor Ericson: The class is called "Introduction to Philosophy." That's what I did.
Meemaw: Well, un-introduce him.
Dr. Linkletter: Yes, he's at this school 'cause of his brilliant scientific mind, and he spent my last class talking about processed cheese.
Meemaw: Sheldon, is that true?
Sheldon: Nothing's true.
Dr. Linkletter: You see what you've done? You broke him.

Mary: [on the phone] Dr. Linkletter, what can I do for you?
Dr. Linkletter: Hello, Mrs. Cooper. I just wanted to let you know, with Dr. Sturgis away, I'll be available should Sheldon need anything.
Mary: Oh, that is very comforting to know. Thank you so much.
Dr. Linkletter: His well-being is important to me, as was made abundantly clear by my boss.
Mary: Okay, well, we are truly grateful.
Dr. Linkletter: Now, I'm not terribly experienced around children. If he needs to use the restroom, I don't have to go in with him, do I?