Sheldon: So, spring break is just around the corner.
Dr. Linkletter: I'm counting the days.
Sheldon: Me, too. Have you reserved the lab yet?
Dr. Linkletter: Why would I do that?
Sheldon: Without the distraction of classes, you and I can really buckle down and get some work done.
Dr. Linkletter: I won't be here, Sheldon. It's my break, too.
Sheldon: Where are you going?
Dr. Linkletter: I'm not telling you where I'm going, Sheldon.
Sheldon: Why not?
Dr. Linkletter: Because I'll be happy, and I want to stay that way. You're in college. You should be taking spring break as well.
Sheldon: And do what?
Dr. Linkletter: Traditionally, you would congregate with your peers and make bad decisions.
Sheldon: But I'm a kid.
Dr. Linkletter: Then perhaps a game of Duck, Duck, Goose.
Sheldon: Sarcasm?
Dr. Linkletter: No.
Sheldon: Geez, you really do need a break.

Sheldon: Dr. Linkletter, I need to talk to you.
Dr. Linkletter: Are we in my office?
Sheldon: No.
Dr. Linkletter: Then these are not my office hours.
Sheldon: Are you using my love of schedules against me?
Dr. Linkletter: [chuckles] Oh, yes.
Sheldon: Well done.

Sheldon: Dr. Linkletter, I need to talk to you.
Dr. Linkletter: Great.
Sheldon: Do you think you could get me access to the telescope room? I want to search for exoplanets that could support life.
Dr. Linkletter: Are you feeling homesick?
Sheldon: Are you implying that I'm from another planet?
Dr. Linkletter: Yes.
Sheldon: Compliment accepted.

Sheldon: Now, about the telescope room, I was watching Star Trek and it got me thinking...
Dr. Linkletter: Sheldon, searching for life on other planets isn't serious science. Leave that to the tinfoil hat brigade.
Sheldon: But statistically, given the number of stars and planets, it's likely we could find one capable of supporting life. And if we did, it would be the greatest scientific discovery of all time.
Dr. Linkletter: Yes, and if I had fruit on my head, I'd be Carmen Miranda.
Sheldon: I'm not familiar with that reference.
Dr. Linkletter: She sang and danced with fruit on her head.
Sheldon: Why would she have fruit on her head?
Dr. Linkletter: I don't know, in case she got hungry. It's not gonna happen, Sheldon!

Sheldon: Mom, I know what I want to do for spring break. What happened to your face?
Mr. Lundy: Told you, people take notice.
Mary: This is for my new job.
Sheldon: Is your new job fighting Batman? Because you look like The Joker.

Mary: I'm not buying it. I'm thinking about selling it.
George: You?
Mary: Yes, me. Wouldn't hurt to have extra money.
Sheldon: But you already have two jobs... church and mom.
Mary: Well, that second one doesn't pay much.
Sheldon: I do your taxes. The first one doesn't either.

George: Sales is a tough racket, Mare.
Georgie: Yeah. It ain't as easy as I make it look.
Mary: Well, I think I'd be good at it.
Georgie: You sure? Sometimes you got to do a little fibbin'.
Mary: I would do it without that.
Georgie: And you got to have people skills.
Mary: I have people skills.
Georgie: Do you?
Mary: I'd like to throw my dinner roll at your head right now, but you don't see me doing it.