Adult Sheldon: In an effort to find out the mistake in his experimental design, Dr. Linkletter performed his own experiment on me.
[title: "Reverse Psychology"]
Dr. Linkletter: You know, Sheldon, I don't even care if you tell me the error. In fact, I'd rather you keep it to yourself.
Sheldon: All right.
Dr. Linkletter: [quietly] Yeah.
[title: "Bribery"]
Dr. Linkletter: I got you a little something for all your hard work. It's about a little boy who doesn't let being dead stop him from having fun.
Sheldon: Thanks.
Dr. Linkletter: [chuckles] Now that I've given you something, perhaps you want to reciprocate.
Sheldon: Sure. You can have this. I don't want it.
[title: "Disorentation", George Sr. is woken up by a phone call in the middle of the night]
George Sr.: [answers phone] Hello?
Dr. Linkletter: Uh, may I speak with Sheldon?
George Sr.: It's the middle of the night. Who the hell is this?
Dr. Linkletter: Uh, wrong number. [dial tone]

President Hagemeyer: Okay, so, what's the problem?
Sheldon: I wanted to talk with Dr. Linkletter about puberty.
Dr. Linkletter: And I wanted to avoid litigation.

Dr. Linkletter: [on answer phone] Connie, Grant Linkletter. Wonderful seeing you tonight.
Meemaw: Yeah, yeah.
Dr. Linkletter: Hope you enjoyed our little book club. If you'd ever like to discuss it further, I know the perfect Italian café. The cannolis are resplendent.
Meemaw: Resplendent! [chuckles] [machine beeps]
Dr. John Sturgis: [on answer phone] Connie! John Sturgis here.
Meemaw: What a surprise.
Dr. John Sturgis: It was so nice to have you at our book club. When it comes to science fiction, those things can be real sausage parties. Anyhoo, if you're free next week, I was wondering if you'd like to... [Meemaw skips to the next message]
Dr. Linkletter: Grant Linkletter again. If you don't like Italian, I also know a sublime Vietnamese spot. Have you ever tried Bún Boò Hue? [machine beeps]
Dr. John Sturgis: I don't know why I said "sausage party." There was probably a better way to phrase that. [machine beeps]
Dr. Linkletter: Connie, Grant Linkletter...

Sheldon: Can we get back to the book?
Dr. John Sturgis: Yes, Connie, I'd love to hear more of your thoughts on it.
Meemaw: I think I've said my piece.
Sheldon: I have some thoughts.
Dr. Linkletter: And we'll get to those in due time. Don't you think Asimov did a remarkable job of capturing the poetic terror of the coming darkness?
Meemaw: I'm not sure I got that.
Dr. Linkletter: Oh, listen to this. "Dusk, like a palpable entity, entered the room, and the dancing circle of yellow lights about the torches etched itself into ever-sharper distinction against the gathering grayness beyond." [Meemaw and John are silent]
Sheldon: Powerful.
Dr. Linkletter: Wasn't it?
[Meemaw shrugs her shoulders]

George Jr.: What is this?
Meemaw: That's the exercise guy Meemaw likes.
George Jr.: I can't believe anyone pays money to watch old people sweat.
Missy: 40 bucks?
George Jr.: They sold over a million of those? At 40 bucks a pop? Do you know how much money that must be?
Missy: I'm not a calculator.
[later:]
George Jr.: 40 times... one million. That's 40 million!
Missy: Whoa.

Adult Sheldon: Behind every great scientist, there were often unsung helpers toiling away in the background. Presenting... "Great Lab Assistants in Scientific History" When Alexander Graham Bell needed an assistant, it was Thomas Augustus Watson who answered the call. [laughs] Get it? "The call". [snickers] Madame Curie's daughter Irène was also her lab assistant. Irène was so dedicated, she died of radiation poisoning. Unlike her sister Ève, who selfishly lived to 102. Lastly, Émile Roux was assistant to Louis Pasteur. When they worked on the rabies vaccine, Roux kept a loaded gun in the lab to shoot Pasteur in the head if he got infected. He never had to, but it's fun to know he would have.
Dr. Linkletter: No, Sheldon. You can't be my lab assistant.
Sheldon: Maybe you weren't paying attention. I'll start over. Behind every great scientist, there was a dedicated as...

Adult Sheldon: While not the lab work I hoped to be doing, it did feel good to be part of an actual experiment. A tedious, menial part that could be performed by a monkey. Or worse, an engineer.