Sheldon: Dr. Linkletter, I need your help.
Dr. Linkletter: Of course. Let me just drop everything so I can be of assistance.
Sheldon: Thank you. [sighs] I'm trying to embrace failure, and I realized that social subtleties like sarcasm can sometimes evade me.
Dr. Linkletter: You don't say.
Sheldon: No, it's true. And I was hoping you could pepper our conversation with sarcasm, so I can try to identify it.
Dr. Linkletter: Oh, boy, when do we start?
Sheldon: Now would be great.
Dr. Linkletter: Sheldon, that was sarcasm.
Sheldon: Oh, let me try again.

Sheldon: Dr. Linkletter, I need to talk to you.
Dr. Linkletter: Are we in my office?
Sheldon: No.
Dr. Linkletter: Then these are not my office hours.
Sheldon: Are you using my love of schedules against me?
Dr. Linkletter: [chuckles] Oh, yes.
Sheldon: Well done.

Dr. Linkletter: Sheldon, thank you for coming in. I want to apologize for our little tiff earlier.
Sheldon: You're forgiven.
Dr. Linkletter: Oh. Great. I found something that might be of interest to you. An authentic signature from Richard Feynman.
Sheldon: Where did you get this?
Dr. Linkletter: Details aren't important.
Sheldon: Is this a restraining order?
Dr. Linkletter: Not important.
Sheldon: That's actually a really good way to get autographs. I'll have to keep that in mind.

Jim: Here we are. Grab a shovel and dig in. There you go.
Dr. Linkletter: I spent the summer in Italy once.
Georgie: Bringing back memories?
Dr. Linkletter: No.

Sheldon: Hello, Niblingo. Little nibling.
Mandy: What is it, Sheldon?
Sheldon: I was hoping I could try to calm your baby down.
Mandy: Why?
Sheldon: I'm trying new things to build up a tolerance for setbacks and frustration.
Mandy: So you want to use my child for some kind of experiment?
Sheldon: Yes.
Mandy: Okay, here you go.

Dr. John Sturgis: Hang on. Are you familiar with the Fred Astaire song "Pick Yourself Up"?
Sheldon: No.
Dr. John Sturgis: From the beloved musical Swing Time?
Sheldon: Still no.
Dr. John Sturgis: Then prepare to be uplifted. [sings] ♪ Nothing's impossible, I have found ♪ ♪ For when my chin is on the ground ♪ ♪ I pick myself up ♪ ♪ Dust myself off ♪ ♪ Start all over again ♪
Sheldon: I'm not uplifted.
Dr. John Sturgis: [talks] Well, then buckle up for the second verse. [sings] ♪ Don't lose your confidence if you slip ♪ ♪ Be grateful for a pleasant trip ♪ ♪ And pick yourself up ♪ ♪ Dust yourself off ♪ ♪ Start all over again. ♪

Adult Sheldon: The next day, as I walked across campus, I could feel all eyes were on me, judging me for my failure. Look at them laughing at me. It was the closest I ever came to a walk of shame.