Coach Wilkins Quotes

Quote from the episode Body Glitter and a Mall Safety Kit

Coach Wilkins: You ever tell him you're proud?
George Sr.: He knows.
Coach Wilkins: I think it's important for children to hear it.
George Sr.: You don't even have kids.
Coach Wilkins: I teach and coach teenage boys. I also put up with your childish nonsense.
George Sr.: Georgie's just being so damn disrespectful, I don't want to reward that.
Coach Wilkins: All right.
George Sr.: My father never said he was proud of me. I turned out just fine.
Coach Wilkins: George, I'm just trying to have a nice day, make some white folks uncomfortable. Can you please?

Quote from the episode A Couple Bruised Ribs and a Cereal Box Ghost Detector

George Sr.: Okay, fine. But that was pure instinct. Besides, she shouldn't have been standing on the sidelines.
Coach Wilkins: Why was she there?
George Sr.: I told her she could.
Coach Wilkins: [laughing] Oh, man, you must feel terrible.
George Sr.: Yeah, of course I do.
Coach Wilkins: I mean, it's all on you.
George Sr.: You done?
Coach Wilkins: Oh-ho-ho, baby, I'm just getting started.

Quote from the episode A Tummy Ache and a Whale of a Metaphor

Coach Wilkins: Sheldon back in the nurse's office?
George Sr.: Yep.
Coach Wilkins: Let me guess. Yellow fever. Dengue fever. Cat scratch fever.
George Sr.: Cholera.
Coach Wilkins: Ooh! I was gonna say cholera.

Quote from the episode A Proposal and a Popsicle Stick Cross

Coach Wilkins: You sure you want to eat that?
George Sr.: [mouth full] Why not?
Coach Wilkins: I heard your triglycerides are through the roof.
George Sr.: Who told you that?
Coach Wilkins: My brother plays poker with your doctor.

Quote from the episode A Broom Closet and Satan's Monopoly Board

George Sr.: I mean, I-I just can't win. When I step in, I'm doing it wrong, and when I don't step in, she yells at me.
Coach Wilkins: I hear you.
George Sr.: So Darlene does the same thing with you?
Coach Wilkins: No. But I'd hate it if she did. That sounds awful.
George Sr.: So, what do you two fight about?
Coach Wilkins: You know, normal stuff. Who loves the other one more. Whose turn it is for a foot rub. Oh, the other day, we did argue about which way the toilet paper should hang.
George Sr.: Who won?
Coach Wilkins: I don't remember. We just ended up making love on the bathroom floor.
George Sr.: Thank you, Wayne. This has been real helpful.
Coach Wilkins: When was the last time you took Mary out on a date?
George Sr.: I couldn't even tell you.
Coach Wilkins: Mm. That poor woman.
George Sr.: Hey. You're supposed to be on my side.
Coach Wilkins: I'd like to be. [chuckles] But you're not giving me much to work with.

Quote from the episode The Sin of Greed and a Chimichanga from Chi-Chi's

George Sr.: [on the phone] Well, thank you. That's a very generous offer. Let me discuss it with my family, and I'll get back to you. Bye.
Coach Wilkins: What was that about?
George Sr.: Are you my family?
Coach Wilkins: I don't know. I like to think of myself as your work wife.

Quote from the episode A Couple Bruised Ribs and a Cereal Box Ghost Detector

Coach Wilkins: How's she doing?
George Sr.: Well, not bad. Could be worse. A little whiplash, couple of bruised ribs, broken arm... and collarbone. But that's it.
Coach Wilkins: Pretty funny how you jumped out of the way and let her get clobbered.
George Sr.: I did not jump out of the way!
Coach Wilkins: Oh, yeah, you did. [chuckles] They got you on tape.

Quote from the episode A Secret Letter and a Lowly Disc of Processed Meat

Coach Wilkins: All right, who's hotter... Cindy Crawford or Jessica Rabbit?
George Sr.: One's a person, one's a cartoon.
Coach Wilkins: And you couldn't get either one of 'em. Now answer the question.