‘A Little Snip and Teaching Old Dogs’ Quotes Page 1 of 3
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711. A Little Snip and Teaching Old Dogs
May 9, 2024George freaks out when Mary expresses a desire to have another baby. Meanwhile, Sheldon tries to help Dr. Sturgis and Dr. Linkletter understand his latest work.
Quote from Adult Sheldon
Adult Sheldon: I always believed my extraordinary life would be chronicled in numerous biographies. I even used to make up my own titles. My favorites were: "From Texas to Success: the Sheldon Cooper Journey", and "Cooper for Kids", a pre-school introduction to quantum gravity in superstrings. The point is, I knew my formative years would be well-documented, which meant I needed to polish up some of my early academic credentials, especially East Texas Tech.
Quote from Sheldon
Sheldon: If W is the Kähler metric on the algebraic variety X, and the canonical bundle KX is trivial, then X is what?
Dr. John Sturgis: A Zariski space.
Sheldon: Wrong. [slaps Dr. Sturgis's hand with his pencil]
Dr. John Sturgis: Hey!
Dr. Linkletter: Obviously, it's an elliptic curve.
Sheldon: Wrong. [slaps Dr. Linkletter's hand with the pencil]
Dr. Linkletter: Hey!
Quote from Sheldon
Dr. John Sturgis: Why are you hitting us?
[flashback:]
Mei-Tung: Wrong.
Sheldon: Ow! Why'd you hit me?
Mei-Tung: Pain is the best teacher.
[present:]
Sheldon: I'm teaching you.
Dr. Linkletter: Well, it feels like you're hitting us.
Sheldon: Like you, I struggled with these concepts, but eventually, I mastered them, through hard work, resilience and a healthy dose of knuckle whacking.
Quote from Sheldon
Dr. Linkletter: Son, we are accomplished scientists. We won't be treated like this.
Sheldon: Very well.
[flashback:]
Professor Salzman: Class, who knows where the dummkopf went wrong?
Sheldon: Dummkopf? You're calling me a dummy?
[present:]
Sheldon: There's also public humiliation. That was quite effective. Are you old dummkopfs ready to learn, or is it past your bedtime?
Dr. John Sturgis: Oh, I'm good till at least 7:30.
Quote from Dr. John Sturgis
Dr. Linkletter: 26 dimensions. In what world are there 26 dimensions?
Dr. John Sturgis: When I was an undergraduate, we made fun of the old professors who didn't understand the theory of mesons.
Dr. Linkletter: [chuckles] Me, too. I told my thesis advisor, "I'm surprised you don't understand the physics of time. You were here for the dawn of it." [both laugh]
Dr. John Sturgis: And now, we've become them.
Dr. Linkletter: I wish. My mentor was a Fields Medal winner, taught at Princeton. What have I done?
Dr. John Sturgis: You wrote that article on the positron.
Dr. Linkletter: I did. I was the belle of the physics ball that year. And you... you've lectured all over the world.
Dr. John Sturgis: I can ask for Pepto Bismol in 16 languages. Boro na, eho ligo Pepto-Bismol? [laughs] That was Greek.
Quote from Adult Sheldon
Mary: Say "Nana." Nana. Na-na.
George: Ain't she a little young for that, Mare?
Adult Sheldon: For the record, I said my first word at four months. It was "hypotenuse."
Quote from Dr. John Sturgis
Dr. Linkletter: Okay, that won't be necessary. We may be out of the loop on this stuff, but we can catch up.
Dr. John Sturgis: Agreed! We can be up to speed in two shakes of a lamb's tail.
Dr. Linkletter: Don't say that. You sound old.
Dr. John Sturgis: Lickety-split?
Dr. Linkletter: Better.
Dr. John Sturgis: Lickety-split.
Quote from George Sr.
George: Hey. What you doing?
Mary: The twins' first birthday. Look how little they were.
George: Well, look how little I was.
Mary: And Georgie when he lost his first tooth.
George: When he learned it was worth a quarter, he tried pulling the rest of 'em.
Mary: Guess he's always been a businessman.
George: He ain't an idiot.
Quote from President Hagemeyer
President Hagemeyer: Wh-What am I looking at?
Sheldon: My proposal for next semester's curriculum on string theory. I may be leaving, but that doesn't mean you can't attract more brilliant minds by staying on the cutting edge.
President Hagemeyer: Sheldon, you are not a professor here.
Sheldon: Oh, I know. If I were to teach, it would be at a much better university than this one.
President Hagemeyer: And, in 54 days, you will no longer be a student here. Not that I'm counting.
Sheldon: True, we should relish these moments.
President Hagemeyer: Oh, I'm relishing. Look at me relish.
Quote from Sheldon
President Hagemeyer: So, what am I supposed to do with this?
Sheldon: Just because I won't be here doesn't mean I won't forever be associated with this university. And it would be nice if people looked at my résumé and said "East Texas Tech," not "East Texas Tech."
President Hagemeyer: You said those the exact same way.
Sheldon: Really? In my head, the second one was dripping with scorn. "East Texas Tech." How was that?
President Hagemeyer: Dripping.
Sheldon: Mm.
Quote from Sheldon
President Hagemeyer: Sheldon, I appreciate this, but, uh, we have an excellent faculty here, and they are quite capable of devising their own curriculum without your help.
Sheldon: I suppose I could spin East Texas Tech as a hardship I had to overcome, like a hunchback or a club foot.
President Hagemeyer: [quietly] 54 days.
Sheldon: I know. I'm going to miss this, too.
President Hagemeyer: Mm.
Quote from Mandy
George: So, uh, what movie y'all going to see?
Georgie: Ace Ventura: Pet Detective.
George: Mandy, you want to see that?
Mandy: I don't care, I'm gonna be asleep before the lights go down.
Quote from Mary
Mary: Well, we are so happy to babysit. In fact, if you want to go to dinner after the movie, that's fine with us.
Mandy: Aw, thanks, but we're trying to save money.
Mary: George, give them some money so they can go to dinner.
George: [quietly] We're already babysitting for free.
Mary: But we never get to see this little one, because her mean Mommy and Daddy moved her away.
Mandy: Well, Mommy and Daddy have their own bathroom now, so...
George: Oh, that's the dream right there.
Quote from George Sr.
Georgie: Alrighty. Bye, baby.
Mandy: Bye, honey. Be good.
Mary: Oh, she'll be an angel for Nana and Grampy.
George: Grampy? I didn't sign off on that.
Mandy: Okay, let's go, I want to get this nap started.
Georgie: See you, Grampy.
Quote from Dr. Linkletter
Dr. John Sturgis: Is it possible that we're too old to learn new things?
Dr. Linkletter: Nonsense. This would have been over my head even as a young man.
Dr. John Sturgis: Maybe we just need someone to explain it to us.
Dr. Linkletter: Are you talking about Sheldon?
Dr. John Sturgis: I'm sure he'd be happy to help.
Dr. Linkletter: Oh, that's what I'm afraid of. I don't want to give him the satisfaction of thinking he's smarter than us.
Dr. John Sturgis: But he is smarter than us.
Dr. Linkletter: I know that and you know that, but he can never know that.