Coach Wilkins: Fine. But it doesn't matter where you go. She's just gonna be happy you're trying.
George: I hope so.
Coach Wilkins: It's nice to see I'm finally rubbing off on you.
George: I am capable of being a decent husband.
Coach Wilkins: Oh, of course you are.
George: Don't patronize me.
Coach Wilkins: I could stop, but then what will we have left?

Coach Wilkins: I cleaned out George's desk. Uh, thought you might like his stuff.
Mary: Thanks.
Coach Wilkins: I just wanted you to know that if there's anything that you or the kids need... [crying] I'm here for y'all.
Mary: Oh, Wayne.
Coach Wilkins: I mean it. Anything that you need.
Mary: Thank you. [hugs Wayne] I appreciate that. [Wayne sobs] You doing okay?
Coach Wilkins: Oh, yeah, yeah. Don't worry about me. [sobs]
Mary: Okay. Let me get you a tissue.

Coach Wilkins: [supressing sobs] Just miss him, you know? [blows nose]
Mary: I do.
Coach Wilkins: I used to... I used to mess with him by telling him he was my best white friend, you know. But... but the truth is that he was my best friend.
Mary: And you were his.
Coach Wilkins: Oh, that's nice to know. I'm not helping, am I?
Mary: That's okay. Are you hungry? We've got lots of food.
Coach Wilkins: [blows his nose] Yeah, I-I could eat.
Mary: Hope you like casserole.
Coach Wilkins: I do like casserole.

George: Great practice. Let's gather round, take a knee. All right, Coach. They're all yours.
Coach Wilkins: Thank you, George. Look at you guys. Young, strong, all your hopes and dreams in front of you. None of you have any idea of what's out there waiting for you.
George: Wayne, where you going with it?
Coach Wilkins: A team requires trust. Sure, you can count on your teammates when the ball is snapped. But can you count on them when they're away at a teachers conference with the woman you were gonna spend your life with? Hmm?
George: Okay. "Team" on three.

Georgie: [o.s.] Did you like school?
Dale: Hated it. I quit and I joined the Army.
Georgie: [o.s.] How was that?
Dale: Less girls, more getting shot at.
Georgie: [enters] Well, at least you made it out alive.
Dale: Well, then I got married. Made me kind of miss getting shot at.
Georgie: Have you ever been happy?
Dale: Ooh, let's see. No.

Sheldon: But why are you wasting your time here when you could be doing science?
Dr. John Sturgis: I told you, I'm happy here.
Sheldon: How could you be happy? You have a doctorate in physics, and you're sticking labels to a case of beans.
Dr. John Sturgis: I had to work here a month before they let me use this thing. And yet, I could go buy a real gun on my lunch break. Ha! Texas, huh?
Sheldon: But don't you miss trying to unlock the secrets of the universe?
Dr. John Sturgis: Sheldon, I spent my life chasing theoreticals. Here, I have tangible accomplishments and I get to listen to relaxing Top 40 music. Do you know this band, Air Supply? They're terrific. [sings] ♫ I'm all out of love ♫ ♫ I'm so lost without you ♫ ♫ I know you were right ♫ ♫ Believing... ♫

Dr. Linkletter: So what do we do about it?
Dr. John Sturgis: We sing.
Dr. Linkletter: What do we sing?
Dr. John Sturgis: [sings] ♫ When you're too old to work ♫ ♫ And you're too young to die ♫ ♫ Who will take care of you? ♫ ♫ How will you get by? ♫ ♫ When you're too old to work ♫ ♫ And you're too young to die ♫ ♫
Dr. Linkletter: I don't think I know that one.
Dr. John Sturgis: Hmm. Do you know "Lollipop"?