Assistant Coach Wilkins: Ooh, that's rough. Hmm. How'd it happen?
Sheldon: It's hard to say, but some risk factors include: heavy lifting, a chronic cough and repetitive straining during bowel movements.
Assistant Coach Wilkins: I've been there. Hmm. All right. Guess I'll see you in six to eight weeks.

Assistant Coach Wilkins: I never had any doubt, Coach. Never had any doubt.

Assistant Coach Wilkins: Happened to me while I was in the Army. I was in a bar in Georgia, tried to lift up this big gal. Swear I could hear something pop down there.

Sheldon: Do you think a Spock could become a Kirk?
Meemaw: Well, in my experience, most people stay the miserable bastards they are their whole entire life. But I have seen some folks change.

Adult Sheldon: Despite my explanation that I was embracing my inner Kirk, my mother had me make amends for all my misdeeds. Starting in the library, where I had to reshelve hundreds of books. Well, to be honest, that one was a hoot.

Adult Sheldon: The amends got worse when Coach Wilkins made me climb the rope. Lacking any upper body strength, I hung there like a salami in a deli window.