Coach Wilkins: Oh, I know that face. Heartburn? Gas? What are we working with?
George: Not in the mood, Wayne.
Coach Wilkins: Are you in the mood for Tums? I could hook you up.

Coach Wilkins: I cleaned out George's desk. Uh, thought you might like his stuff.
Mary: Thanks.
Coach Wilkins: I just wanted you to know that if there's anything that you or the kids need... [crying] I'm here for y'all.
Mary: Oh, Wayne.
Coach Wilkins: I mean it. Anything that you need.
Mary: Thank you. [hugs Wayne] I appreciate that. [Wayne sobs] You doing okay?
Coach Wilkins: Oh, yeah, yeah. Don't worry about me. [sobs]
Mary: Okay. Let me get you a tissue.

Coach Wilkins: [supressing sobs] Just miss him, you know? [blows nose]
Mary: I do.
Coach Wilkins: I used to... I used to mess with him by telling him he was my best white friend, you know. But... but the truth is that he was my best friend.
Mary: And you were his.
Coach Wilkins: Oh, that's nice to know. I'm not helping, am I?
Mary: That's okay. Are you hungry? We've got lots of food.
Coach Wilkins: [blows his nose] Yeah, I-I could eat.
Mary: Hope you like casserole.
Coach Wilkins: I do like casserole.

George: Great practice. Let's gather round, take a knee. All right, Coach. They're all yours.
Coach Wilkins: Thank you, George. Look at you guys. Young, strong, all your hopes and dreams in front of you. None of you have any idea of what's out there waiting for you.
George: Wayne, where you going with it?
Coach Wilkins: A team requires trust. Sure, you can count on your teammates when the ball is snapped. But can you count on them when they're away at a teachers conference with the woman you were gonna spend your life with? Hmm?
George: Okay. "Team" on three.

George: Where are the damn filters?
Mary: They're in the cabinet, where they always are.
Georgie: These two, fighting like the Serbs and Croatians in Bosnia.

Mary: What is going on? Sheldon, are you okay?
Sheldon: My stomach hurts.
Darren: He's gonna throw up.
Mary: Did you give him beer? Did they give you beer?!
[Mary follows Sheldon, Darren and Oscar into the dorm room]
Sheldon: Just root beer.
Mary: It's gonna be okay, baby. [Sheldon throws up] Oh. Why is it so colorful?
Sheldon: Too many... [gags] Skittles. [retches]

George: Where's the coffee?
Georgie: I finished it.
George: When you finish a pot, you're supposed to make more.
Mary: Oh, is that the rule?
George: It is for him. Why are you reading my paper?
Georgie: Well, pardon me for keeping up on events of the day.
George: Tomorrow's headline: Father Strangles Son.
Georgie: Good luck. My horoscope says "things are looking up."