Coach Wilkins: Hey, uh, how's bachelor life treating you?
George Sr.: Good. Mary makes this parenting thing seem hard. I'm great at it.
Coach Wilkins: So, you finally gave it a shot. Good for you.
George Sr.: Make your jokes, but I'm even helping out kids that aren't mine.
Coach Wilkins: Really?
George Sr.: Billy Sparks got a little crush on Missy.
Coach Wilkins: Uh-oh. Danger zone.
George Sr.: What? [chuckles] Why?
Coach Wilkins: Getting in the middle of your teenage daughter's love life? What could possibly go wrong?
George Sr.: I can't win with you.

Coach Wilkins: You ever tell him you're proud?
George Sr.: He knows.
Coach Wilkins: I think it's important for children to hear it.
George Sr.: You don't even have kids.
Coach Wilkins: I teach and coach teenage boys. I also put up with your childish nonsense.
George Sr.: Georgie's just being so damn disrespectful, I don't want to reward that.
Coach Wilkins: All right.
George Sr.: My father never said he was proud of me. I turned out just fine.
Coach Wilkins: George, I'm just trying to have a nice day, make some white folks uncomfortable. Can you please?

George Sr.: Do you have any women friends?
Coach Wilkins: Uh-oh. Mary finally wise up and kick you to the curb?
George Sr.: I'm being serious.
Coach Wilkins: I have plenty of women friends. Matter of fact, my best friend's a woman.
George Sr.: Are you gonna say your wife?
Coach Wilkins: You know I am. She got in the shower with me this morning.
George Sr.: I don't need to hear that.
Coach Wilkins: How could something be so clean and so dirty at the same time?
George Sr.: I'm sorry I asked.
Coach Wilkins: Are you upset 'cause I said she was my best friend and not you?
George Sr.: No.
Coach Wilkins: You're in the top three.
George Sr.: Stop talking to me.
Coach Wilkins: Definitely my best white friend.

Coach Wilkins: Fine. But it doesn't matter where you go. She's just gonna be happy you're trying.
George Sr.: I hope so.
Coach Wilkins: It's nice to see I'm finally rubbing off on you.
George Sr.: I am capable of being a decent husband.
Coach Wilkins: Oh, of course you are.
George Sr.: Don't patronize me.
Coach Wilkins: I could stop, but then what will we have left?

Adult Sheldon: My father didn't always get the credit he deserved. The advice he gave me actually worked out pretty well. Of course, I never told him.
George Sr.: Talked to Billy.
Missy: Why would you do that?
George Sr.: No, it was good.
Missy: Stay out of my life.
Adult Sheldon: He may not have been the world's greatest dad. But maybe we weren't the world's greatest kids.

George Jr.: I'm not here to work. I'm here with the answers to all your problems.
Meemaw: And what is that?
George Jr.: How to get your back room up and running again.
Meemaw: I'm listening.
George Jr.: I was thinking about Chuck E. Cheese.
Meemaw: Oh, God.
George Jr.: Hear me out. Your payouts were in cash. That's illegal. When you play games at Chuck E. Cheese, you win tickets. Those tickets are traded for prizes. That's legal. You just need to do the same thing. People play your machines. Now the credits they win get exchanged for stuffed animals. Then you buy those stuffed animals back for cash. No laws broken, and you're back in business.

Sheldon: Dr. Linkletter and I are stuck on a science problem. I know Dr. Sturgis could help, but I'm hesitant to suggest that because I know they have a professional rivalry.
George Sr.: Well, the way I see it, y'all are on Team Science, right?
Sheldon: I suppose.
George Sr.: And people on the same team don't have to get along to work together.
Sheldon: Like you and Mom.
George Sr.: No. A quarterback and his receivers. He doesn't throw it to the guy he likes best. He throws it to the one that's open.
Billy Sparks: So smart.
Sheldon: So, I should ask Dr. Sturgis what he thinks about the dark matter being a Bose condensate?
George Sr.: Do you want Team Science to win?
Sheldon: Thank you. This has been helpful. [exits]
Billy Sparks: What's a Bose condensate?
George Sr.: I'll tell you at halftime.