Meemaw: Yes?
Sheldon: How's it going?
Meemaw: It's Sheldon again.
Sheldon: What do you mean "again"?
Meemaw: Speak.
Sheldon: I recently read an article about a superconducting supercollider that might be built in Texas.
Meemaw: What about it?
Sheldon: Well, I thought if there was a lull in your dinner conversation, you might casually drop it as an icebreaker.
Meemaw: Our dinner conversation is going just fine.
Sheldon: Well, now you have it in your back pocket. Carry on.

Adult Sheldon: I never understood why kids didn't like being sent to the principal's office. I thought it was great.
Principal Petersen: Sheldon, you are a remarkable young man.
Sheldon: Thanks, and you're a remarkable old man.
Mary: Sheldon.
George Sr.: So you sure he's got all the credits he needs?
Principal Petersen: Yeah, between his coursework and his AP tests, he's met all of his academic requirements. He even managed to get a good grade in P.E.
Sheldon: I earned extra credit snitching on kids who were smoking behind the equipment shed.
Principal Petersen: I don't have to buy cigarettes for a year.

Principal Petersen: One other bit of business. Since you're graduating early, and you're top of the class, that makes you our valedictorian.
George Sr.: Way to go, buddy!
Mary: I'm so proud of you, baby.
Sheldon: You seem surprised.
Mary: Well, it's quite an accomplishment.
Sheldon: Being top of the class in this school? I don't think so.
Principal Petersen: We're really gonna miss you.

Sheldon: I imagine my leaving will be hard for you.
Tam: Oh, yeah, being best friends with a little kid really boosted my game with the ladies.
Sheldon: Makes sense. I'm a conversation starter.

Tam: Hello.
Sheldon: Tam? What are you doing here?
Tam: Would you like to go to a party with me?
Sheldon: I don't want to go to a party with anyone.

Sheldon: I don't even care about church, and I can name them all.
Paige: So can I.
Sheldon: No, you can't.
Paige: Yes, I can. I can even do it in alphabetical order.
Sheldon: Well, I can name them in the order they appear in the Book of Matthew.
[Sheldon and Paige raises their hnads]
Pastor Jeff: Paige, yes.
Paige: Peter, Andrew, James, son of Zebedee, John, Philip, Bartholomew, Thomas, Matthew, James, son of Alpheus, Thaddeus, Simon and Judas. And that's the order that they appear in the Book of Matthew.
Pastor Jeff: Fantastic! [chuckles] You just won yourself a psalm 100 bookmark.
Paige: [chuckles] Thank you. I love that psalm. [applause]
Adult Sheldon: You would think winning a Nobel Prize in Physics would make this moment meaningless to me, but all these years later, it still burns my butt.

Sheldon: Dad, you need to take me home.
George Sr.: Why? What's the matter?
Sheldon: I don't have my safety goggles. Let's go.
George Sr.: Sheldon, I'm busy.
Sheldon: You're just watching TV.
George Sr.: I'm reviewing game tape.
Sheldon: So you know how it ends. I'll meet you at the car.

Pastor Jeff: Hello, Biblenauts! [chuckles] Gather round. Now, who's ready to find space for Jesus in our hearts? [silence] I can't hear you!
Sheldon: Perhaps that's because space is a vacuum where sound doesn't travel.
Paige: Nicely done.
Sheldon: You're not the only rebel around here.
Pastor Jeff: I thought he had stamp camp.

Kimberly: We're here with the Cooper family. Mary, George and eleven-year-old Sheldon, who's going to be Medford High School's valedictorian. Mom and Dad, you must be so proud.
George Sr.: Oh, very proud.
Mary: But we're proud of all of our children.
Sheldon: She has to say that.

Sheldon: I was a little worried about missing Professor Proton, but I'm going to tape it and watch it at night. Once I'm in college, can we push my bedtime to 8:30?
Mary: Let's talk bedtime when we're not on the news, honey.
Sheldon: I'm sure it'll work out since I have all summer to recalibrate my bathroom schedule.
Mary: Let's not talk about that, either.

Kimberly: Sheldon, tell us what you're gonna miss the most about high school.
Sheldon: Nothing.
Kimberly: Really? Not your teachers, your friends?
Sheldon: I only have one friend. And I don't think he's gonna miss me because he already found other people to have lunch with.
Mary: Oh, I'm sure he'll miss you.
Sheldon: And I said I'm okay with watching Professor Proton at night, but that'll never work. I get overtired... everybody knows that!
George Sr.: Maybe we could turn the camera off.
Sheldon: And the other day, I couldn't find my safety goggles and I freaked out in school, and my dad asked is this how I plan on acting when I get to college, and I said no, but it probably is because even though I'm smart, I'm just a little boy!
Kimberly: I think we have enough.
George Sr.: Cut.

Adult Sheldon: I took a moment to reflect on my journey of the last two weeks. Such emotional growth was worthy of a majestic bubble beard. Perhaps my sister was right. This was a time I'd want to remember.
Sheldon: Dad, will you sign my cast?
George Sr.: Sure.
Sheldon: And if you have any grammar questions, please ask first.

Sheldon: And early trains used the drop chute toilet, also called the hopper toilet, which was really just a hole...

Sheldon: [bell ringing]
Lawrence: Uh... we need to talk.
Sheldon: About this bell? You got it. Did you know different engineers would often...
Lawrence: [stops bell] Son? You're a sweet kid, but... I don't think this is working out.
Sheldon: What? Why? I-I know everything there is to know about trains.
Lawrence: Well, yeah, you see now, that there is the problem. People, when they come here, they want to enjoy it. They don't want to get lectured in the bathroom. And you have been correcting me in front of the visitors all morning long.
Sheldon: Would you prefer I send you a memo of your mistakes at the end of the day?
Lawrence: No.
Sheldon: Because that's what I did for the teachers at my school. I think it brought us all closer.
Lawrence: Sheldon, it's great to have knowledge. But you don't need to show it off all the time.
Sheldon: Oh, I don't mind.
Lawrence: [chuckles] You see, trains are all about balance, right? Now you put too much water into a steam engine, it can't do its job. You let that water run low... Boom, it'll blow up. Now, a good engineer makes sure he uses just the right amount of water. Not too little, not too much. That make sense?
Sheldon: The fireman adjusts the water, not the engineer.
[later, as Meemaw drives Sheldon home:]
Sheldon: And then he took my "ask me" button. He didn't even ask me. He just took it.

Meemaw: Everybody gets fired for something eventually.
Sheldon: For being too good at their job?
Meemaw: Well, Moon Pie, sometimes you just get too excited about sharing the facts in your head.
Sheldon: But learning facts is the ant's pants. Which is the Australian derivation of the bee's knees. See, you just learned something. And wasn't that the cat's pajamas?

Adult Sheldon: Children everywhere are excited by summer vacation, and I was no exception. Because instead of vacation Bible school with my sister, I was headed to the local library for a fun-filled week of postal delights otherwise known as stamp camp.
Sheldon: In 1989, they released dinosaur stamps.
Missy: No one cares.
Mary: Come on, now. He's excited. And that gets my stamp of approval.
Sheldon: I'm using that. It's going to kill at stamp camp.

Adult Sheldon: The next day, I got my cast off. In a world where I valued symmetry,
I was relieved to see that both my arms were as pale and skinny as ever. But this Texan had unfinished business to tend to.
Missy: Want me to get you started?
Sheldon: No, I can do it.
Adult Sheldon: And I did do it. I rode my bike without training wheels like an adult. It would take more than a chicken or the threat of a fractured bone to scare me. It would take a brown beast named Scraps. [dog barks]
Sheldon: Aah! Mommy?!
Adult Sheldon: I rode my bike 11 miles that day.
Sheldon: Mommy!

Sheldon: Johannes Diderik van der Waals. Nils Gustaf Dalén. Heike Kamerlingh Onnes.
Missy: What are you going?
Sheldon: Listing Nobel Prize winners in physics.
Missy: Why?
Sheldon: To keep me from cracking this cast like a coconut and scratching my skin off.

Dr. Patel: Okay. Looks like you fractured your ulna.
Sheldon: Oh, no.
Dr. Patel: Two weeks in a cast, you'll be good as new.
Sheldon: A cast? Don't those get sweaty?
Dr. Patel: Mm-hmm. They can.
Sheldon: And itchy?
Dr. Patel: A little.
Sheldon: Can it get wet?
Dr. Patel: Not supposed to.
Sheldon: Then how am I supposed to take a shower?
Dr. Patel: Well, some people wrap it in a garbage bag.
Sheldon: That's where garbage goes. Did you get a discount doctor because we're poor?

Sheldon: This is bad.
George Sr.: You're gonna be just fine.
Sheldon: This is the arm I write with. This is the arm I eat with. This is the arm I do the Vulcan salute with. Ow.
George Sr.: It's not too swollen. That's a good sign.
Sheldon: You're not a doctor.
George Sr.: But I see this on the football field all the time.
Sheldon: Football players are meant to be hurt. I'm meant to be cherished.