Sheldon: [bell ringing]
Lawrence: Uh... we need to talk.
Sheldon: About this bell? You got it. Did you know different engineers would often...
Lawrence: [stops bell] Son? You're a sweet kid, but... I don't think this is working out.
Sheldon: What? Why? I-I know everything there is to know about trains.
Lawrence: Well, yeah, you see now, that there is the problem. People, when they come here, they want to enjoy it. They don't want to get lectured in the bathroom. And you have been correcting me in front of the visitors all morning long.
Sheldon: Would you prefer I send you a memo of your mistakes at the end of the day?
Lawrence: No.
Sheldon: Because that's what I did for the teachers at my school. I think it brought us all closer.
Lawrence: Sheldon, it's great to have knowledge. But you don't need to show it off all the time.
Sheldon: Oh, I don't mind.
Lawrence: [chuckles] You see, trains are all about balance, right? Now you put too much water into a steam engine, it can't do its job. You let that water run low... Boom, it'll blow up. Now, a good engineer makes sure he uses just the right amount of water. Not too little, not too much. That make sense?
Sheldon: The fireman adjusts the water, not the engineer.
[later, as Meemaw drives Sheldon home:]
Sheldon: And then he took my "ask me" button. He didn't even ask me. He just took it.

Sheldon: Missy and I broke a lot of rules the other night, and we've received no punishment.
George: [sighs] Buddy, it's been a rough week. We're just glad you're both safe.
Sheldon: But in the absence of a divine being, society's rules are what keeps a person's morality in check.
George: Well, there you go.
Sheldon: No, y-you're not following me. If actions have no repercussions, society breaks down, everything devolves into chaos.
George: You might be overthinking this.
Sheldon: I thought so, too. Then I thought about it, and I'm not.
George: Sheldon, you had one bad night. Just let it go.
Sheldon: But... I did something wrong and I got away with it. That's not okay.
George: Buddy...
Sheldon: Socrates maintained that the man who lies to himself has an enemy living within. He's not even a person. He's just a chaos of selfish desires wrapped in an animal hide.

Sheldon: Unbelievable. It's either cartoons or men in their underwear banging their heads together.
Ricky: You complain a lot.
Sheldon: Excuse me?
Ricky: Seriously, dude, you need to relax.
Sheldon: How can I relax? I'm being held captive in a bacterial playground.

Ms. MacElroy: Now, can anyone tell me why Melville shifts the narrative voice from Ishmael to Ahab? [Ms. MacElroy waits for somebody else to raise their hand] Sheldon.
Sheldon: I have a tummyache. I'd like to see the nurse.
Derek: A "tummyache"?
Sheldon: Yes, Derek, I have a tummy and it aches. Ergo, tummyache.
Derek: Ergo?
Sheldon: It's Latin, Derek.
Ms. MacElroy: Go to the nurse.
Sheldon: And to answer your question, the shifting point of view grants the reader a broader perspective of events than typically allowed by first-person narration.
Ms. MacElroy: Where were we?
Sheldon: And "ergo" is Latin for "hence," Derek.

Adult Sheldon: Presenting... "Sheldon Cooper's Top Five Sources of News From My Childhood". Number five: Star Trek Fan Club Magazine.
Sheldon: Mom, DeForest Kelley's favorite episode is "The Empath."
Mary: Good to know.
Adult Sheldon: Number four: the Weather Cube from RadioShack.
Man: [from device] The humidity is 90% with a dew point of 79.5 degrees.
Sheldon: Mom! The dew point is 79.5 degrees.
Mary: [o.s.] Okay.
Adult Sheldon: Number three: The MacNeil/Lehrer NewsHour. Such a great theme song.
Sheldon: [hums] Buh-buh-bum.
Adult Sheldon: Number two: Meemaw after a few beers.
Meemaw: It took a while, but we finally picked a new name for my bowling team: The Ball Busters.
Sheldon: Hey, Mom. Guess what Meemaw named her bowling team? The Ball...
Adult Sheldon: And the number one source of news from my childhood: the bulletin board at the train store. News about trains in a store full of trains. Yummy.
Sheldon: How did this not make The MacNeil/Lehrer NewsHour?

Georgie: So how many times have you seen Road House?
Mary: Sorry, can't hear you.
Georgie: More or less than five? 'Cause that'show many times I've seen it.
Mary: That's how many years you're gonna be grounded if you don't drop it right now.
Georgie: Does Dad know you like this movie?
Mary: [vacuum stops] No, and it is gonna stay that way.
Georgie: Why?
Mary: Because it is not something I should be watching.
Georgie: Then why are you watching it?
Mary: It is a guilty pleasure, so will you drop it now?
Georgie: Relax. I ain't gonna tell nobody.
Mary: Thank you.
Georgie: I think it's awesome you like it.
Mary: It is pretty cool how Dalton doesn't drive his Mercedes to the bar 'cause he knows they're gonna trash it.
Georgie: Dalton's no dummy.
Mary: No, sir.

Mary: [eating pop corn] Get him, Dalton. Get him.
Georgie: Mary Cooper, what are you doing?
Mary: Nothing.
Georgie: Why are you watching Road House?
Mary: Why aren't you at work?
Georgie: I asked you first, and my question is way more interesting.
Mary: It was just on. I don't even know what that is.
Georgie: Then how'd you know his name's Dalton?
Mary: I don't have to explain myself to you.
Georgie: This is a pretty dirty movie.
Mary: How do you know? It is rated R.
Georgie: For violence, language and sexual content. You should be ashamed of yourself.