Sheldon: Are there any discounts available?
Fran: Are you a member of any frequent-flier programs?
Sheldon: No, I've never flown before.
Fran: Well, ways to keep the cost down are: flying on weekdays, multiple layovers... Or, this probably doesn't apply, but airlines offer special fares if there's been a death in the family.
Sheldon: Interesting. May I use your phone?
[elsewhere:]
Meemaw: [answering phone] Hello?
[back:]
Sheldon: What else you got?

Gary: I believe we have to look to gravity and its magnitude...
Adult Sheldon: I was really doing my best to hold it together.
Gary: ...could be a repulsive force if you just add negative mass.
Adult Sheldon: I smiled and nodded like my meemaw's Houston Oilers bobblehead.
Gary: And I also discovered a way that we could predict the masses of all the known particles using the Egyptian pyramids.
Adult Sheldon: In physics, there's a phenomenon known as supercritical assembly. If you bring enough material together in one place...
Gary: The trick is numerology.
Adult Sheldon: ...in the right configuration, eventually, it will explode.
Gary: This is fun. Not a lot of people I can talk to scientist-to-scientist.
Sheldon: We're not talking scientist-to-scientist. You're not a scientist. You're just a rich man that no one will be honest to because everyone wants your money.
President Hagemeyer: Oh, don't listen to him. I mean, he's just a kid. Why don't you tell me a little more about your pyramid thingy? Huh?

Dr. Hodges: This is groundbreaking work. Thank you.
Sheldon: And?
Dr. Hodges: And?
Sheldon: I thought you might want to apologize.
Dr. Hodges: Well why?
Sheldon: You tried to shut me up with a patch.
Dr. Hodges: Well, I-I give those to everyone. A-And you have to understand, Sheldon, that while your math is-is theoretically correct, we don't have the technical capability to execute it.
Sheldon: So I'm ahead of my time?
Dr. Hodges: Well it would appear so.
Sheldon: All right, call me when you catch up.

Sheldon: How do you recommend I "suck it up"?
Missy: I don't know, when you don't get your way, shut up and move on.
Sheldon: Is that what you do?
Missy: Yeah.
Sheldon: And that's why you don't have a computer.

George Sr.: Now, when you meet this guy, you got to shake his hand.
Sheldon: What if I offer a stately bow? That's how they do it in Asia.
George Sr.: You're shaking his hand.
Sheldon: Then it's a good thing I brought Old Righty. [holds up a mitten-covered hand]
George Sr.: You're not wearing that in a restaurant.
Sheldon: Why?
George Sr.: 'Cause you don't make a good impression by being afraid to shake hands.
Sheldon: Howard Hughes was a germophobe, and he did quite well for himself.
George Sr.: Didn't he go crazy and save his pee in jars?
Sheldon: Better to have it and not need it than to need it and not have it.
George Sr.: You're shaking his hand!
Sheldon: Okay!

George Sr.: Is what they're asking really that bad?
Sheldon: Yes. I go to this university to study science, not to help collect money like an organ grinder's monkey.
George Sr.: You see me go to the rallies and fundraisers at the high school. I don't love it, but I do it.
Sheldon: And I hope they give you all the bananas you can eat.
George Sr.: Sheldon, donors like this are very helpful for the university. They pay for all the science equipment and your scholarship.
Sheldon: I hadn't thought of it that way.
George Sr.: So I'll tell 'em we're on for Saturday?
Sheldon: I'll think about it.
George Sr.: What's to think about? It's a night of you showing off how smart you are.
Sheldon: People do like that. All right, I'm in.

Captain: [v.o.] Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. We're expecting a smooth flight to Los Angeles. Before we take off, please direct your attention to the flight attendants as they review some important safety procedures.
Sheldon: "Safety procedures"? Oh, baby.

Sheldon: But I still don't understand.
Meemaw: Your grandmother's a single lady. She's not committed to any one fella, and she wants to see what her options are.
Sheldon: But Dr. Sturgis is the best option.
Mary: Well, you might feel that way, but she's not so sure.
Sheldon: Then we need to tell her. I'll make the call.
Mary: No. We need to mind our business and maybe pray for her to make the right decision.
Sheldon: We're gonna leave this up to God?
Mary: You think you could do a better job than God?
Sheldon: Maybe not with creating the universe, but I bet I could free the Hebrews with one good plague.

Kimberly: Sheldon, tell us what you're gonna miss the most about high school.
Sheldon: Nothing.
Kimberly: Really? Not your teachers, your friends?
Sheldon: I only have one friend. And I don't think he's gonna miss me because he already found other people to have lunch with.
Mary: Oh, I'm sure he'll miss you.
Sheldon: And I said I'm okay with watching Professor Proton at night, but that'll never work. I get overtired... everybody knows that!
George Sr.: Maybe we could turn the camera off.
Sheldon: And the other day, I couldn't find my safety goggles and I freaked out in school, and my dad asked is this how I plan on acting when I get to college, and I said no, but it probably is because even though I'm smart, I'm just a little boy!
Kimberly: I think we have enough.
George Sr.: Cut.

Sheldon: I was a little worried about missing Professor Proton, but I'm going to tape it and watch it at night. Once I'm in college, can we push my bedtime to 8:30?
Mary: Let's talk bedtime when we're not on the news, honey.
Sheldon: I'm sure it'll work out since I have all summer to recalibrate my bathroom schedule.
Mary: Let's not talk about that, either.

Kimberly: We're here with the Cooper family. Mary, George and eleven-year-old Sheldon, who's going to be Medford High School's valedictorian. Mom and Dad, you must be so proud.
George Sr.: Oh, very proud.
Mary: But we're proud of all of our children.
Sheldon: She has to say that.

Pastor Jeff: Hello, Biblenauts! [chuckles] Gather round. Now, who's ready to find space for Jesus in our hearts? [silence] I can't hear you!
Sheldon: Perhaps that's because space is a vacuum where sound doesn't travel.
Paige: Nicely done.
Sheldon: You're not the only rebel around here.
Pastor Jeff: I thought he had stamp camp.

Sheldon: Dad, you need to take me home.
George Sr.: Why? What's the matter?
Sheldon: I don't have my safety goggles. Let's go.
George Sr.: Sheldon, I'm busy.
Sheldon: You're just watching TV.
George Sr.: I'm reviewing game tape.
Sheldon: So you know how it ends. I'll meet you at the car.

Sheldon: I don't even care about church, and I can name them all.
Paige: So can I.
Sheldon: No, you can't.
Paige: Yes, I can. I can even do it in alphabetical order.
Sheldon: Well, I can name them in the order they appear in the Book of Matthew.
[Sheldon and Paige raises their hnads]
Pastor Jeff: Paige, yes.
Paige: Peter, Andrew, James, son of Zebedee, John, Philip, Bartholomew, Thomas, Matthew, James, son of Alpheus, Thaddeus, Simon and Judas. And that's the order that they appear in the Book of Matthew.
Pastor Jeff: Fantastic! [chuckles] You just won yourself a psalm 100 bookmark.
Paige: [chuckles] Thank you. I love that psalm. [applause]
Adult Sheldon: You would think winning a Nobel Prize in Physics would make this moment meaningless to me, but all these years later, it still burns my butt.

Tam: Hello.
Sheldon: Tam? What are you doing here?
Tam: Would you like to go to a party with me?
Sheldon: I don't want to go to a party with anyone.

Sheldon: I imagine my leaving will be hard for you.
Tam: Oh, yeah, being best friends with a little kid really boosted my game with the ladies.
Sheldon: Makes sense. I'm a conversation starter.

Principal Petersen: One other bit of business. Since you're graduating early, and you're top of the class, that makes you our valedictorian.
George Sr.: Way to go, buddy!
Mary: I'm so proud of you, baby.
Sheldon: You seem surprised.
Mary: Well, it's quite an accomplishment.
Sheldon: Being top of the class in this school? I don't think so.
Principal Petersen: We're really gonna miss you.

Adult Sheldon: I never understood why kids didn't like being sent to the principal's office. I thought it was great.
Principal Petersen: Sheldon, you are a remarkable young man.
Sheldon: Thanks, and you're a remarkable old man.
Mary: Sheldon.
George Sr.: So you sure he's got all the credits he needs?
Principal Petersen: Yeah, between his coursework and his AP tests, he's met all of his academic requirements. He even managed to get a good grade in P.E.
Sheldon: I earned extra credit snitching on kids who were smoking behind the equipment shed.
Principal Petersen: I don't have to buy cigarettes for a year.

Meemaw: Yes?
Sheldon: How's it going?
Meemaw: It's Sheldon again.
Sheldon: What do you mean "again"?
Meemaw: Speak.
Sheldon: I recently read an article about a superconducting supercollider that might be built in Texas.
Meemaw: What about it?
Sheldon: Well, I thought if there was a lull in your dinner conversation, you might casually drop it as an icebreaker.
Meemaw: Our dinner conversation is going just fine.
Sheldon: Well, now you have it in your back pocket. Carry on.

Mary: All right, baby, we're leaving here in a few minutes, but we'll be back on Sunday and your Meemaw will be here. [Sheldon doesn't respond] Sheldon?
Sheldon: What?
Mary: We're leaving.
Sheldon: Where are you going?
Mary: To San Antonio.
Sheldon: When are you leaving?
Mary: In a few minutes.
Sheldon: When will you get back?
Mary: Sunday.
Sheldon: But who's going to watch us?
Mary: Meemaw.
Sheldon: Okay. Bye.
Mary: Can you at least give me a hug?
Sheldon: I can.