Missy: Why can't we watch Duck Tales?
Sheldon: Because we don't learn anything.
Missy: It's TV! We aren't supposed to learn.

Sheldon: Oh, I couldn't tell you how much to give. But I can tell you the Stuckeys stepped up for a thousand dollars. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Well, you need to give what's comfortable for you. And of course, I don't need to remind you, it's entirely tax deductible. [Missy whispers in Sheldon's ear] And at the next pancake breakfast, you can hold your head high. Thank you. That's very generous. Goodbye. [hangs up phone] The pancake line closed it.
Missy: We are so going to heaven.

Sheldon: Good luck with your finger painting.
Missy: You're gonna get your ass kicked in high school.
Mary: [flicks Missy on the head] Hey!

Mary: Where'd you get this?
Missy: Heather. I traded a Fruit Roll-Up for it.
Mary: Well, this is going in the garbage.
Missy: You sure? It's got some great tips on how to spice up your marriage.
Mary: My marriage is fine, thank you.

Missy: So it's not gonna be scary?
Mary: It will, but without all the blood and gore.
Missy: But I like blood and gore.

Missy: Someone's Underoos are in a knot.
Sheldon: My Underoos are fitting just fine, thank you.
Missy: Then why is there a stick up your butt?
Sheldon: Stop making inquiries about my bottom.
Missy: But I enjoy it.

Sheldon: Why would New Mutants be next to New Teen Titans?
Missy: Because they both start with "New"?
Sheldon: But one's Marvel and the other's DC. Would you put Aquaman and Sub-Mariner next to each other?
Missy: I don't know, they could talk about fish.

George: So, we were talking to the lawyer...
Missy: Here comes the divorce.
Mary: We are not getting divorced.
Missy: Then why do we have a lawyer?
George: Sheldon invented something that the university's interested in and it could be worth some money.
Missy: You always were my favorite brother.
Sheldon: This morning you licked your finger and put it in my ear.
Missy: That means I like you.

Missy: What's your homework?
Sheldon: Non-Euclidean geometry. How about you?
Missy: "Symonyms".
Sheldon: You mean synonyms?
Missy: I'm pretty sure she said "symonyms".

Meemaw: Maybe I should go keep an eye on him.
Mary: No. Let him handle this on his own.
Missy: I wouldn't mind watching.

Mary: You kids excited to go back to school?
Sheldon: Of course I am.
Missy: He doesn't speak for me.

Meemaw: So what-what-what's his name?
Missy: Marcus Adam Larson, he's 11 and a half, he has blond hair, his favorite color's green and he's learning how to skateboard, but he's not very good yet.
Meemaw: Okay, well, I have to ask, now... at your age, having a boyfriend, what does that mean? Do you, uh... go out on dates?
Missy: No.
Meemaw: Um... well, d-do you hold hands?
Missy: I wish, but no.
Meemaw: So how do you know he's your boyfriend?
Missy: Because this happened. [hands Meemaw a "check yes or no" paper]
Meemaw: Wow. I didn't realize you had documentation.
Missy: I know.

Sheldon: I can't believe they would fire you just for mentioning a theory about black holes.
Dr. John Sturgis: It's just as well. It was time this old horse was put out to pasture.
Mary: Don't say that. You're not old.
Missy: He's not?
Mary: No.
Missy: But look at his bald head.
Mary: Eat your peas.

Missy: Well, I'm sure there'll be a bunch of smart other weirdos at "Cowtech."
Sheldon: "Cowtech?"
Missy: Yeah.
Sheldon: Caltech.
Missy: Like calculators?
Sheldon: Like California.
Missy: Oh. Mm. I like mine better.

Mary: Don't forget, we have the family portrait today.
Missy: Do we really have to stand in a field of flowers?
Mary: Yes.
Sheldon: If you're worried about getting stung, I have a backup beekeeper uniform.
Mary: You are not wearing a beekeeper uniform in the picture.
Missy: Please? It'll really help my story about him going to a special school.