‘A New Home and a Traditional Texas Torture’ Quotes Page 1 of 4
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712. A New Home and a Traditional Texas Torture
May 9, 2024After George gets a job offer from Rice University, he and Mary consider moving the family to Houston. Meanwhile, Sheldon readies himself to start college in California.
Quote from George Jr.
George: It's nothing like that. I got a job offer from Rice.
Georgie: A-Roni?
George: University.
Georgie: You can understand the mistake.
Quote from Sheldon
Sheldon: [knocks three times] Meemaw. [knocks three times] Meemaw. [knocks three times] Meemaw.
Meemaw: [opens door] Does that mean I have to say hello three times?
Sheldon: No, that would be crazy.
Meemaw: Agreed.
Quote from Sheldon
President Hagemeyer: Why on Earth would I buy your house?
Sheldon: Not you, the university.
President Hagemeyer: Okay, why would the university buy your house?
Sheldon: We've been over this. Someday, I'm going to win a Nobel Prize. My childhood bedroom is in said home. It's gonna be like the thinking man's Graceland.
Quote from Sheldon
Sheldon: [knocks three times] Missy.
Missy: [o.s.] Yeah?
Sheldon: [knocks three times] Missy.
Missy: [o.s.] What?
Sheldon: [knocks three times] Missy.
Missy: [opens door] What?
Quote from Mr. Givens
Mr. Givens: Caltech? Fantastic.
Sheldon: For Caltech? I know.
Mr. Givens: Mm. Well, I'm sure you're gonna do great things.
Sheldon: I hope so. I intend to. I'm being modest. I will.
Mr. Givens: You're taller, but you're still the same.
Sheldon: It's fun, isn't it?
Mr. Givens: Okay. Good luck at Caltech, Sheldon.
Sheldon: I don't believe in luck.
Mr. Givens: Well, here's hoping that a random universe works out in your favor.
Sheldon: Thank you. Bye.
Mr. Givens: Hmm. [to his class] That young man might change the world someday. Or blow it up. Who's to say?
Quote from Missy
Missy: Well, I'm sure there'll be a bunch of smart other weirdos at "Cowtech."
Sheldon: "Cowtech?"
Missy: Yeah.
Sheldon: Caltech.
Missy: Like calculators?
Sheldon: Like California.
Missy: Oh. Mm. I like mine better.
Quote from Missy
Sheldon: Only 42 days until I go to Caltech.
Mary: That can't be right.
Missy: Oh, it is. It's in my calendar, too.
Mary: You don't have to be so excited about it.
Missy: It's a little late to pretend that I like him.
Quote from Sheldon
Sheldon: There's still so much to do before I go: write my graduation speech, last trip to the comic book store, last lunch with Tam at the high school.
Mary: I didn't know you and Tam were still friends.
Sheldon: Why would you think that?
Mary: Because you never see him.
Sheldon: My favorite kind of friend.
Quote from Sheldon
Adult Sheldon: My world had been rocked, but it was nice to know there were some things that would always stay the same, like lunch with my old friend, Tam.
Tam: Why are we here?
Sheldon: This is where we always eat.
Tam: You know I graduated last year.
Sheldon: Oh, good for you. So, where's your food?
Tam: When you invited me to lunch, I thought you meant like a restaurant.
Sheldon: That's okay, I'll share my sandwich.
Tam: You still don't eat the crust?
Sheldon: Cutting them off gives my mother purpose.
Quote from Ms. Hutchins
[Ms. Hutchins walks by Sheldon and Tam's table with her library cart:]
Sheldon: Oh, hello.
Ms. Hutchins: What are you doing here?
Sheldon: Taking comfort in the familiar. Still no wedding ring, I see. That feels good.
Ms. Hutchins: Yeah, feels great.
Sheldon: [to Tam] So, where was I? Right, uh, Houston. Anyway, my father got offered a coaching pos...
Quote from President Hagemeyer
President Hagemeyer: Okay, stop. You know, I've always gone out of my way to do anything to make you happy.
Sheldon: I love that about you.
President Hagemeyer: But... how can I say this nicely... you're Caltech's problem now, so, yay. [chuckles]
Quote from Missy
Mary: And, uh, this is our daughter's room.
George: We told her to clean up, but no promises.
[When Mary opens Missy's bedroom door, her room is spotless. Missy is dressed in her Sunday clothes as she sits on her bed, reading the bible]
Missy: Oh, hello, ma'am.
Joanna: What a charming room.
Missy: It's been such a blessing to grow up here. I just hope some lucky family loves it as much as I have.
Joanna: I'm sure they will.
Missy: Well, I'm gonna pray on it.
Mary: Okay. Moving on.
Quote from Sheldon
Mary: This is our little boy's room.
Sheldon: [geiger counter clicking] Might want to stay there until I finish my sweep.
George: What are you doing?
Sheldon: You said the realtor was coming over today. I wanted to make sure my room wasn't still radioactive.
Mary: Oh, it was never radioactive.
Sheldon: We don't know that. I did have radioactive material.
George: There was no radioactive material. The FBI stopped him before he got any.
Sheldon: Oh, you're talking about the uranium I tried to buy. I'm referring to the americium isotopes I was using to make a nuclear reactor.
George: [to the realtor] Don't write that down.
Quote from Missy
Sheldon: Are you nervous about moving to a new city?
Missy: Nope.
Sheldon: But you won't know anyone.
Missy: That's the best part. I won't be the dumb sister of the smartest boy in town.
Sheldon: You're not going to brag about me?
Missy: Hell, no. I'm gonna tell people you were sent away to a school for special kids.
Sheldon: Caltech is a school for special kids.
Missy: Great, it works on two levels.
Quote from Sheldon
Missy: Are you nervous?
Sheldon: Yes. What if no one likes me in California?
Missy: No one likes you here.
Sheldon: No one understands me here. There's a difference.