George Sr. Quotes
Quote from the episode White Trash, Holy Rollers and Punching People
George Sr.: Hold on. Are you firing her?
Pastor Jeff: No, no, just a little leave of absence till things settle down.
Pastor Rob: Is that really necessary?
Pastor Jeff: I believe it is. As leaders of this church, we are held to a higher standard.
Mary: Are you asking us to leave the church?
Pastor Jeff: Of course not.
George Sr.: Y'all talk a big game about community, and then you just turn your back when things get a little messy.
Pastor Rob: Okay, let's just take a breath.
George Sr.: You do that. We're leaving. Come on, Mary.
Pastor Jeff: George, let's talk this through.
George Sr.: I've heard enough. I'll be in the truck. [exits]
Quote from the episode Dolomite, Apple Slices, and a Mystery Woman
Mary: Well, Sheldon's been spending quite a bit of time with this Libby girl, lately.
George Sr.: Yeah, so?
Mary: So isn't he a little young to be hanging with teenagers?
George Sr.: Oh, he's only young on the outside. Inside, he's an old man.
Mary: I'm being serious.
George Sr.: So am I. And with that bow-tie, he's old on the outside, too.
Quote from the episode An 8-Bit Princess and a Flat Tire Genius
George Jr.: So me and Herschel dropped the engine on this Pacer today. It was so cool.
George Sr.: I had a buddy in high school had a Pacer with the flames painted on the side, which was funny 'cause the damn thing caught fire during the Homecoming parade
Quote from the episode A Mother, a Child, and a Blue Man's Backside
George Sr.: You're really holding the line on this one.
Mary: I'm sorry, but he just pushed my buttons.
George Sr.: Don't be sorry. I'm diggin' it.
George Jr.: Ew.
Missy: Gross.
Meemaw: I agree. Pretty gross.
George Sr.: Y'all are mean.
Quote from the episode Crappy Frozen Ice Cream and an Organ Grinder's Monkey
President Hagemeyer: Gentlemen, please have a seat.
George Sr.: Sheldon's only been here a few weeks. I hope he's not in trouble already.
President Hagemeyer: What kind of trouble? Did something happen?
Sheldon: Ooh, maybe it's from when I decided...
George Sr.: Uh, uh, all good. Uh, you keep talking.
Quote from the episode A Nuclear Reactor and a Boy Called Lovey
Adult Sheldon: There are certain phrases that are used by dads around the world.
George Sr.: Close the fridge. You're wastin' money.
Quote from the episode Pilot
George Sr.: I got fired, Sheldon. And I got a bad reputation.
Quote from the episode Training Wheels and an Unleashed Chicken
Adult Sheldon: My sister's crankiness did not dampen my enthusiasm. A chicken may have fractured my arm, but nothing could break my can-do spirit.
Sheldon: All in the bowl, none on me. I call that a successful urination.
George Sr.: Great. Go teach your brother.
Quote from the episode Cowboy Aerobics and 473 Grease-Free Bolts
George Sr.: What do you mean you quit?
Sheldon: It was beneath me.
George Sr.: You need to learn there's nothing wrong with a little hard work.
Sheldon: Hard work is calculating neutrino properties to one percent accuracy. Anyone can wash bolts.
George Sr.: You begged him for that job.
Sheldon: I assumed he'd realize the value of my intellect and put it to good use.
George Sr.: Hang on. You made a commitment. When you say you're gonna do something, you do it.
Sheldon: Well, he could find someone else.
George Sr.: Doesn't matter. This is about you being a man of your word.
Adult Sheldon: I wanted to point out that I couldn't be a man of my word, since I hadn't hit puberty, but he seemed pretty grouchy.
Quote from the episode White Trash, Holy Rollers and Punching People
Pastor Jeff: So, shall we get to the business at hand?
Mary: Obviously, we're... mortified by Missy's behavior.
George Sr.: Even though it sounds like that punk had it coming.
Pastor Jeff: While his words were out of line, it brings us to the bigger issue, which is... people are talking about Georgie.
George Sr.: Bunch of holy rollers with no lives.
Quote from the episode A Live Chicken, a Fried Chicken and Holy Matrimony
George Sr.: And I know your mom would want me to tell you to wait till marriage, but I also know you're probably not going to.
George Jr.: Did you?
George Sr.: The important thing is that when you're with a girl... [Georgie scoffs] You know how when we're running practice drills and we wear protection so both people are safe?
George Jr.: Yeah.
George Sr.: Well, there you go.
George Jr.: What?
George Sr.: Same thing, but with your privates.
George Jr.: Please leave.
George Sr.: Thank you.
Quote from the episode A Broken Heart and a Crock Monster
George Sr.: You know, one thing I can say is that having a happy marriage is it's hard work.
Pastor Jeff: Oh, I know. As the pastor, people come to me with relationship problems all the time.
George Sr.: Bet you hear some juicy ones, huh?
Pastor Jeff: "Juicy" doesn't begin to describe it.
George Sr.: Oh, give me a sample.
Pastor Jeff: I can't. There's strict pastor-flock confidentiality.
George Sr.: Sure. Sure.
Pastor Jeff: Mm.
George Sr.: Mary doesn't tell you things about us, does she?
Pastor Jeff: I'm not at liberty to say.
George Sr.: But she does, doesn't she?
Pastor Jeff: Yeah.
George Sr.: Yeah.
Quote from the episode A Broken Heart and a Crock Monster
George Jr.: Honestly, I do not understand the female mind.
Mary: Do something.
George Sr.: Georgie, why don't you go eat dinner in front of the TV?
Pastor Jeff: No, it's all right. Sounds like Georgie's having trouble navigating the perilous waters of a relationship. Believe me, I can understand.
George Jr.: You having problems with your hot wife?
George Sr.: Maybe I'll go eat by the TV.
Quote from the episode A Broken Heart and a Crock Monster
George Sr.: So, uh, who do you think the Oilers are gonna take in the draft?
Pastor Jeff: Oh, I don't really follow sports.
George Sr.: I'm just gonna eat.
Quote from the episode A Broken Heart and a Crock Monster
Pastor Jeff: Except I'm feeling kicked in the nethers right now, and he sure is taking his sweet time with the healing.
George Sr.: He takes his sweet time about a lot of things. Uh, not that I'm complaining. You know, his will, not mine, et cetera.
Quote from the episode An Eagle Feather, a String Bean, and an Eskimo
Mary: We already looked into private school. We can't afford it.
George Sr.: Not unless you're giving me a raise.
Principal Petersen: I'm not.
George Sr.: Okay, just checking.
Quote from the episode An Eagle Feather, a String Bean, and an Eskimo
Mary: Look, we appreciate you going to bat for him, but he's just a wee little thing. We can't ship him off to Dallas.
George Sr.: Shouldn't we talk about this first?
Mary: What's there to talk about, George?
George Sr.: This could be a great opportunity for Sheldon.
Mary: He's nine years old.
George Sr.: Oh, come on, you can't measure him in Earth years.
Mary: You're saying he's an alien?
Quote from the episode A Free Scratcher and Feminine Wiles
Mary: I guess a dishwasher might be nice.
George Sr.: There you go. Get a dishwasher.
Mary: I don't know. I'll think about it.
George Sr.: What's to think about? Have some fun for once.
Missy: Ooh, we getting something fun with the money?
George Sr.: We're talking about a dishwasher.
Missy: When did your dreams die?
George Sr.: When we had kids.
Mary: George.
Quote from the episode An Introduction to Engineering and a Glob of Hair Gel
Mary: Well, I'm glad you enjoyed your class.
Sheldon: For our first assignment, we get to build a bridge. Professor Boucher was part of the Army Corps of Engineers, and he built bridges all over the world.
George Sr.: You know, I was also in the Army.
Sheldon: Ooh, perhaps you trudged across one of his bridges. How neat would that be?
Missy: I bet Dad did cool Army stuff, too.
George Sr.: Nope. "Trudging" sums it up.
Quote from the episode A Financial Secret and Fish Sauce
George Sr.: Why don't we just come clean?
Meemaw: All right, sure, we could do that. You could rat me out to Mary and I could tell her what you did at the church picnic.
George Sr.: Come on. Now you're just playing dirty.
Meemaw: We sink or swim together, George. We sink or swim together.
George Sr.: Grandmas are supposed to be nice. What went wrong with you?
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- Sheldon
- Mary
- George Sr.
- George Jr.
- Missy
- Meemaw
- Pastor Jeff
- Adult Sheldon