George: You know, you seem pretty stressed out... Maybe it'd be easier if I go to Germany.
Mary: You got to be kidding.
George: Well, it might make more sense. I got the summer off. And, come on, beer and sausage? I've been training for that my whole life.

Dr. Linkletter: This will allow us to calculate the speed of sound in the liquid using the standard elements of the Einstein field equations. The answer is only correct, of course, if the density changes slowly. And to begin, we use the standard equations of thermal physics to simplify the answer... [sniffing] Wh-Wha-What am I smelling?
Sheldon: Oh, that might be my sauerkraut and knockwurst.
Ben: [raises hand] It is.
Dr. Linkletter: Why are you eating sauerkraut in my classroom?
Sheldon: I'm acclimating my body to a Germanic meat-based diet.
Dr. Linkletter: At 11:00 a.m.?
Sheldon: It's dinnertime in Heidelberg.
Dr. Linkletter: We're not in Heidelberg.
Sheldon: But I will be over the summer, so I'm trying to adjust my internal clock to the local time so I can hit the ground running mitout jet lag.
Dr. Linkletter: I got to get back to my lecture, if that doesn't interfere with your meal.
Sheldon: Oh, dinner and a show, I love it. Although... would you be a lamb and open this jar of mustard for me?
Dr. Linkletter: Here are two words you don't often hear... poor Germany.

George: "Chicken boo-eh-lon"? What does that even mean?
Mary: Bouillon. It's the tiny cubes that turn into soup.
George: So, the soup aisle?
Mary: There you go.

Sheldon: If you're going to the grocery store, you should get more tinfoil.
George: [sighs] You're not making a hat, are you?
Sheldon: No. I need it to black out my windows. It's 10:00 p.m. in Heidelberg. Gute Nacht.
George: [exhales] Tinfoil.

Meemaw: Hey. I hear you and Mandy are going away for the weekend.
Georgie: Yeah, if you don't mind watching the baby.
Meemaw: I don't mind.
Georgie: You sure? You ain't ever watched her overnight before.
Meemaw: It's fine, we both wake up a lot to pee.

Missy: Okay. According to this quiz, your TV boyfriend is... Bart Simpson.
Tonya: He's not even real.
Missy: That doesn't matter. I still think about marrying Alf. [both chuckle]

George: Well, you got Germany coming up. Makes sense to be a little nervous.
Sheldon: That does make sense.
George: Yeah. Remember how scared you got when we flew to Pasadena? [chuckles softly] But we got through it. Together.
Sheldon: We did.
George: Germany's way further than that. Your mom's never been on a flight that long before. I have. When I was in the Army. Fighting for our country.
Sheldon: Weren't you in the motor pool?
George: I'm just saying, if your mom gets nervous, you might be the one calming her down.
Sheldon: But that's what she does for me.
George: Well, I'm sure she'll do her best. But if she can't, there's lots of strangers on the plane. You can hold one of their hands.

Meemaw: Could you change her and let me finish up here?
Dale: How do you mean?
Meemaw: I mean, like, go get a new diaper and put it on her.
Dale: Oh. No, thanks.
Meemaw: Don't you be a baby. Go and change her.
Dale: The first diaper I change is gonna be my own.
Meemaw: You've never changed a diaper?
Dale: Not a one.
Meemaw: You have kids. And grandkids. How did you get away with never changing a diaper?
Dale: Mm. It wasn't easy. When there's something important to you, you find a way.

Sheldon: I've been reading up on German history and I've realized that appeasement in the face of rule-breaking is a slippery slope. Let's say that sneaking out was your "occupying the Sudetenland". What's your "invasion of Poland" going to be?
Tonya: I see it.
Missy: [scoffs] What are you talking about?

Mandy: Are you that worried about the massage? You know, you don't have to get one.
Georgie: It ain't the massage. Well, it's a little the massage. They ain't gonna touch my butt, are they?
Mandy: Oh, yes. I ordered the couples' butt massage. I paid extra for it.
Georgie: Really?
Mandy: No, dummy.

Mary: We were both here and she snuck out. What's gonna stop her from running wild if it's just one of us?
George: What, so you're saying neither of us should go to Germany?
Mary: [exhales] I don't know. I don't want to punish Sheldon, but I'm worried about Missy.
George: I am, too. [Mary sighs] But I think you should go.
Mary: You do?
George: I got the summer off. My full-time job can be keeping her in line.
Mary: You sure you're up for that?
George: Mary, I'm a football coach. I can handle a 13-year-old girl.
Adult Sheldon: Missy snuck out 32 times that summer, and got her belly button pierced. The poor guy had no idea.

Missy: I thought Mom was going.
George: We're exploring our options.
Mary: Well, I've been thinking about it. You've traveled the world. I've never left the country.
George: [scoffs] The Army isn't "traveling the world".
Mary: More than I've done.

Missy: Sheldon, stop and think. If I get in trouble, neither Mom or Dad is gonna want to leave me and go to Germany. And if they don't go, you don't go.
Sheldon: But I have to go.
Missy: Then you need to forget this happened.
Sheldon: I can't forget this happened... I remember everything.
Missy: Then when you're old and not a famous scientist, you'll remember this is the moment you blew it. [Sheldon ponders] Well? What's it gonna be?
Sheldon: I'm going to brush the liver out of my teeth and mull this over.

Pastor Jeff: Mary, George, thank you for the call. Tonya, apologize to the Coopers.
Tonya: Sorry.
Pastor Jeff: Oh, you're gonna be. Our trip to the Noah's Ark petting zoo, that's off.
Tonya: I'm too old for that anyway.
Pastor Jeff: Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't realize 14 was too old to pet two of many kinds of animals. Come on. Your parents are getting a phone call.
Tonya: Great, maybe they'll send me to live with my fun uncle.
Pastor Jeff: Jerry is not fun, and he's in rehab.

George: [enters] Hey.
Mary: Oh, good. Can you do me a favor and run to the grocery store? There's a list there on the island.
George: Nice to see you, too.
Mary: [sighs] I'm sorry, I have to get passports for Shelly and me, I've got to make sure that the house is stocked, and now that he's read about deep-vein thrombosis, I have to find compression socks for the flight.